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Original poster

I’ve been offered a housing association flat, don’t know what to do?

101 replies

RosieRoo4 · 11/12/2018 17:06

I’m in a bit of a dilemma so I will get straight to the point, disabled DS (quite severely disabled, he receives higher rate DLA and mobility) and I are currently living in a privately rented 2 bed house with very expensive electric heating, rent is £875.00 a month of which I receive £680.00 in housing benefit, I make the rest up myself.

I have been bidding on social housing properties since March, I received a phone call yesterday from a housing association offering me a flat in a city about 12 miles away from where I live now. I jumped in the car and drove into the city to have a look at the outside, it’s on quite a notorious estate, first impressions were not good, yes there was an overturned shopping trolley in the communial garden and various other things that make up a typical deprived area.

The flat is vacant so I looked through the windows, it’s been gutted, no flooring etc. The flat is nice enough, I liked what I could see, the front door looks very secure.

The huge communal recycling bins were overflowing with beer cans and bottles. A few of the other flats don’t look desirable, blankets and towels used as curtains etc.

I really don’t know what to do.

Should I accept because of the cheaper rent (£402.00) and the fact that it’s half a mile away from my DS’s special needs school? I currently have to get him up at 5.45am to have him ready for school transport at 7.15am, he often isn’t home until 4.30pm, it’s a very long day for him.
I’m concerned about him being ridiculed by the other children on the estate, he would be oblivious but it would cut me like a knife. I have until Monday to decide, if I accept then it would be sign up Monday and move ASAP. My current letting agent has spoken to my landlord and he is willing to let me out of my tenancy 2 months early without penalties.

All my family and friends live in the small town where I currently live, I grew up here, everybody knows my DS, he’s safe here. I know nobody in the city.
I really don’t know what to do. It would mean moving literally days before Christmas to a flat with no flooring, I have little furniture because my house was let to me furnished and I have been there for years.

I honestly didn’t think I would be offered anywhere as we are adequately housed, I bidded on the flat several months ago which means quite a few people have viewed and refused before it was offered to me.

Mumsnetters, what would you do?

OP posts:
ChristmasFlary · 11/12/2018 18:11

The HA place sounds dreadful

Hidingtonothing · 11/12/2018 18:13

Normally I'd say jump at any move from private to HA/social housing but I honestly wouldn't in your circumstances. The environment you describe for DS is worth its weight in gold, as is your support network and, if you're keeping your head above water where you are, £195 a month isn't worth the sacrifices.

I lived somewhere 'notorious' and, although I kidded myself it was fine at the time, looking back it was awful and I was on edge all the time.

HauntedPencil · 11/12/2018 18:39

I would hang on.

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ElsieCat · 11/12/2018 18:48

I wouldn't take it. You've enough on your plate without taking the risk that the neighbours are feral and abusive to your son. A shorter journey to school is not worth giving up your support network and peace of mind for.

hmmwhatatodo · 11/12/2018 19:10

What happens when your child reaches an age where you can no longer claim for him? Or you always be able to? What would your plan be if the landlord asked you to leave? Can you drive around again in the evening to see what the area is like?

Original poster
RosieRoo4 · 11/12/2018 19:34

Thank you for all your replies, I will be back to read them ASAP, I’m bathing DS and getting him off to bed.

OP posts:
TheHatOfDoom · 11/12/2018 19:58

I’m disabled and I moved into a HA flat on an estate with a bad reputation. The HA staff acknowledged that at the time and I still hear comments about it being dodgy here. But that’s not my experience, and I’ve been here over 10 years. reputations are easily gained but hard to lose.
one guy on the estate committed a serious crime elsewhere and the police went door to door asking for info but that’s it. There’s been a couple of kids being kids moments and the odd neighbour who gets a bit loud but people are mostly open and apologetic if you mention it and the HA are good with support in those situations if necessary.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 11/12/2018 20:04

I wouldn't go.

Being closer to DS school means nothing if he's unhappier because he misses the people you live near now; who accept him.

Cheaper rent will easily be cancelled out by the improvements you need to make and commuting backwards and forwards to your support network.

People before you, who could be in better financial circumstances, rejected the house. Multiple of them.

I'd hang on for a better house to be offered. I know you think you'll have a bit of a wait; but you've got no risk of homelessness by the sounds of it, and you didn't think you'd get offered this one so you could get surprised again!

Don't underestimate the value of a close support network and a welcoming place for your son.

TwistedStitch · 11/12/2018 20:10

I'd normally say take a social housing property but not in this situation. If you are moving further away from your support network the pay off has to be worth it, and this doesn't sound like it would be. Do bear in mind though that you will likely need to lay flooring etc in any property as HA usually rip up existing carpets.

Original poster
RosieRoo4 · 11/12/2018 20:53

NotANotMan - I am in band C so understand that I have been fortunate to have been made an offer, the area is live in and surrounding areas are quite wealthy, there’s not much homelessness here, I’ve kept an eye on properties that I have previously bid on and most of them have been let to Band B’s, C’s and the odd D. You have a fantastically positive attitude and you are right, what I’ve seen as negative you have seen as positive.

Hidingtonothing - my current environment is perfect for DS, he is a teen but he doesn’t have much independence, when I go to my local supermarket with him he can wander round on his own putting things we really don’t need into his basket because all the staff know him by name and watch out for him.

hmmwhatatodo - DS will always be on benefits, he will never be able to work, he has severe learning difficulties, he was awarded DLA at 18 months old and it was awarded until he reaches the age of 16, there hasn’t been any reassessments because his condition will never improve. For as long as I care for him I will also receive benefits, I tried returning to work when he started school but the pressure was too much for me, he’s frequently poorly and has LOTS of medical appointments, private speech therapy and all manner of other appointments. I’m planning another look with my parents tomorrow and an evening visit on Friday when DS is at respite.

TheHatOfDoom - it’s good to hear a positive story, one of my concerns is obviously treatment of DS by other people and not necessarily children.

Thank you everybody, all really helpful replies. I’m 50/50, I’m terrible at making decisions. I’m going to keep thinking and weighing it all up, a couple more visits will help me to decide. I will post again.

OP posts:
Girlsnightin · 11/12/2018 21:00

Notorious? I'd wait.

If you were on your last choice things could be different, but it wait and see for a better area.

The lack of carpets or time of year wouldn't put me off. The area would!

ALemonyPea · 11/12/2018 21:07

No, go with your gut instinct. Would you feel comfortable walking around at night?

Mondy · 11/12/2018 22:34

Might be worth knocking on some of the neighbour's doors (or accost a passer-by) and ask what the area's like. Not necessarily for what they say, but for how they seem to be. Also have a look at different times, and at the weekend to see what it's like.

My gut instinct from what you've said says avoid it though (and I've lived in some right shitholes in my time, so I'm coming at it with the voice of experience!)

moredoll · 11/12/2018 22:41

Nope, don't take it. Hang on until you get something you really want. You sound like you're trying to sell it to yourself.
It's been empty for months for a reason.
You are allowed to make other bids - use them wisely and stop bidding on flats that you don't really like.
No-one will want to swap to a rough tough estate so you'll be there for the long term.

Knittedfairies · 11/12/2018 22:45

Another saying don’t take it; keep looking. The fact you’ve posted means your gut is telling you it isn’t right for you.

AutumnGrace · 11/12/2018 22:47

A good support network is priceless.

How long would the drive be to your parents?

Cadburyssurpriseegg · 11/12/2018 22:50

I wouldn’t move. If you’re happy where you are then wait it out. Yes it may take a long time for you to get another offer. But rough estates can be a nightmare to live on. Especially with a SN child (speaking from experience). I also refused two places until the third property was offered and I absolutely loved it(again on an estate but very clean and quiet ).

Mummyshark2018 · 11/12/2018 22:51

I would not rule it out. You're only in band c. How long have you been on the list? I would consider seeing it as a short term arrangement to get into a tenancy with a view of swapping if you can. Alternatively if you can afford to top up your monthly rent for potentially the next few years then perhaps you should stay where you are

kittencatmeow · 11/12/2018 22:51

If you can refuse - CHECK for sure first!! ... then I would tbh

I lived on a "rough" estate and to be fair I quite liked it for a decade... then I had a child and suddenly I noticed so much I hadn't seen before

Go visit at a time someone is in the local shops and ask them about it, stop someone randomly coming out of the building and ask them... but unless they say it's lovely despite what people think (and have kids!!!) I'd refuse this one

Shortyboo · 11/12/2018 22:55

Don’t do it.

PeaQiwiComHequo · 11/12/2018 22:55

I think I would go for it. it is going to have its grim aspects and you won't want to stay there long term, but having a shorter commute to DS's school will be an absolute godsend. with a lower rent and less travel costs you will have a chance to get savings together. in a few years you might be able to improve things.

There's a saying "don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good" - that is, don't reject something good because its not perfect. this flat will not be perfect for you - the location will be miserable at times and there will be problems on the estate. but it will still be good for you. it will help.

ivykaty44 · 11/12/2018 22:56

Could you move and then in 12 months go back on the budding list if it did work out? You’d save considerable money on heating etc and anywhere you move you’ll have to carpet and furnish

Joboy · 11/12/2018 23:01

All disabled kids get transport to school . You wont get any more interaction with school that you do now .
Normal schools kids don't get diary.
You could use the extra time to get a job as you won't be your child carer forever.

Hellywelly10 · 11/12/2018 23:02

Go with your gut but have a proper look inside and see you feel. I lived on a rough estate for a short time and was depressed for the duration. My sister has a disability, she lives on a council estate and loves it!

adoggymum · 11/12/2018 23:05

Hi, this new flat sounds great as it's cheaper (means more money to go around to help another family too as you receive a lot of rent help) and it's near your sons school. However I agree that family and friends as a support network is incredibly important.

Don't think that sheets and towels as curtains is a bad thing, many houses around here use those as a cheaper alternative to curtains as they have other money priorities. It doesn't mean they're bad people- loads of beer cans too doesn't mean bad people, maybe try and talk to the neighbours if you can and get a vibe for the area? X

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