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Original poster

Fuck! Please distract me until I hear back from DS- he’s got in a car with a stranger to me

107 replies

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 11/12/2018 08:40

I thought I’d taught him so well.

The school bus has broken down, replacement will be sent but running about 20 mins late. He text me to tell me and was happy to wait. I’ve since had another text to say don’t worry X’s Mum has come and picked us up.

Very lovely of her but I suffer with anxiety over my children’s safety and currently in panic until I hear he’s arrived at school. He’s year 8, he knows this boy (I don’t or his mum) so chances are he’s very safe and as I said it’s kind of her but I’m so worried.

Please chat to me. I’m thinking of calling school- wwyd?

OP posts:
Isadora2007 · 11/12/2018 08:42

He will be fine. He got in a car with a friend and his friends mum. Entirely different from getting in a car alone with someone who says they’re “Johnnys mum”. Calm down and try not to pass on your anxiety to him. Justcheck he arrived safely.

Prinstress · 11/12/2018 08:43

Don't call school. Totally normal situation. Put the kettle on have a cuppa and read a few threads til he texts you saying he's arrived safely. Anxiety is the worst Flowers

Birdsgottafly · 11/12/2018 08:43

I wouldn't be worried.

How long would it take to get to school?

Phone when they are due there, it's your right to check he's got in OK.

You have taught him well, Btw. It was a reasonable solution to the problem.

twoseven · 11/12/2018 08:44

I'm sure it will be fine.
You've got her name. She probs saw him text. Will he text to say he's arrived ? Don't call school.Try and distract yourself for the time the journey is.

DoingMyBest2010 · 11/12/2018 08:45

You can always ring his mobile and ask to speak to the mum who is driving him? All parents from my DD's class are in one whatsapp group - would that be an idea?

Original poster
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 11/12/2018 08:46

I did tell him to text when he arrived which should be soon.

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 11/12/2018 08:48

Your title makes it sound like he got into a car with a stranger!

Original poster
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 11/12/2018 08:48

They have different kids in every class at his age though. I think it’s just another boy from his school, I don’t even think they’re in the same year group. They must live near us to be getting on at the same bus stop.

OP posts:
Urbanbeetler · 11/12/2018 08:48

If I were her, I would insist on calling a parent before taking a strangers child in my car- I get why you are a bit thrown by this. Having said that- I’m sure it is all ok. Hope you hear soon.

WereYouHareWhenIWasFox · 11/12/2018 08:49

You have to learn to manage this level of anxiety. This will start to impact your son massively, i am sure you don't want that. Are you having therapy?

MacarenaFerreiro · 11/12/2018 08:49

ask to speak to the mum who is driving him

While she's driving..... sensible.

OP this is not a "stranger". It's his friend's mum. And the friend is in the car too. Do not phone school.

MacarenaFerreiro · 11/12/2018 08:50

And how old is "Year 8"? 13? not a tiny tot we're talking about here.

Abra1de · 11/12/2018 08:51

Do not call the school.
Your son will be fine.
Get help for your anxiety.

BeanBagLady · 11/12/2018 08:52

It’s good that you have recognised that the issue is your anxiety rather than him going with his friend and friend’s mum.

He’ll be absolutely fine.

And don’t ring and ask to speak to the Mum, that would be both passing the anxiety in to him and probably causing him to feel embarrassed for the sake of YOUR needs, not his.

It’s good he texted you what was happpening. Mine would have just got in with it (waiting for the new bus) and not thought I needed to be told. Which I wouldn’t, really!

By Yr 8 the important thing is that they see a problem and start working out for themselves how best to address it.

ShatnersBassoon · 11/12/2018 08:52

Bear in mind you don't know the bus driver who picks him up every day, but you see no threat there. He's had a lift with a mate, there is absolutely nothing to worry about.

BeanBagLady · 11/12/2018 08:54

The best friendships are made in the school bus Grin

And by Yr 8 we don’t know our kids’ friends, necessarily. It’s quite normal.

I’d be worrying that he left his PE kit in the broken down bus!

MiniCooperLover · 11/12/2018 08:55

He made a sensible decision, better than standing on the side of the road waiting for another bus and being late for school. Please don't phone school and do get help for the anxiety.

CountessOfNowhere · 11/12/2018 08:55

I did this when DD was in y7 and the bus didn't turn up. There were 4 of them at the bus stop. DD got in the car, obviously, along with 2 sisters in y8 and y12 who I didn't know. The only one who declined a lift was DD's friend who she'd known since reception - she was too excited about having a legitimate reason to be late for school!

Original poster
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 11/12/2018 08:55

I did say ‘stranger to me’ and actually it’s a stranger to him too, he’s never met her before though I do accept it’s a safer type of stranger.

He’s 12 yes but that doesn’t mean I worry any less that if he were a tiny tot. If he were tiny he wouldn’t be catching a bus by himself to school!

I don’t know why as soon as you say you have anxiety, people get so snippy. I see it happen a lot. As if you’re a bad person for having it.

OP posts:
treaclesoda · 11/12/2018 08:56

The OP said it was a stranger to her, not to her son.

OP, he will be fine, this is your anxiety that is making you feel this way. If he is old enough to travel to school by bus, he is coming into contact with strangers every day, and this one isn't a random stranger, it's someone's mum. It is normal at this age that he will now know people that you don't know.

If he has texted you to tell you he is getting a lift, I'm sure he will also text you to let you know when he has arrived.

Yinv · 11/12/2018 08:56

You need not worry. He’s made a decision based on the information he had. It’s sounds like a good and reasonable decision to get in the car with the mum of a fellow school child that he knows.

MacarenaFerreiro · 11/12/2018 08:58

I don’t know why as soon as you say you have anxiety, people get so snippy. I see it happen a lot. As if you’re a bad person for having it.

So what are you doing to try to deal with it?

slowco4ch · 11/12/2018 08:59

List out 5 things you need to get done today. Write out what's for dinner. Put the kettle on, make that cuppa. Before you know it there will be a text saying he's there and safe. In your mind switch the stranger to a nice fellow mum who did a nice thing for your son today. It's freezing today so how great that he's in a warm car in his way to school. Last tip, breathe.

SylviaAndSydney · 11/12/2018 09:01

I thought you was going to say he’d hitchhiked!

He’ll be fine, try not to worry.

Original poster
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 11/12/2018 09:02

I thought you was going to say he’d hitchhiked!

That made me laugh Grin

OP posts:
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