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Original poster

Gahh... DH not yet home after a night out, hugely out of character, help me stay calm please?

85 replies

MarinaMarinara · 09/12/2018 05:51

My lovely DH is a SAHD and very very rarely goes out. Tonight he went out locally with 3 or 4 friends, I’ve met a couple of them briefly (so know first names) but don’t really know them. It was drinks at one person’s house, then out to a bar in our (small rural) town then back to someone’s house for more drinks.

We figured he’d be home around 2am. I made the spare room up just in case he was a bit worse for wear, so he didn’t wake up me and the baby.

It’s now quarter to six, I’m awake with the baby (toddler will be through in the next half hour too) the weather outside is awful and he still isn’t home, and I am really worried.

The text I sent him half an hour ago has been delivered but not read. I rang him once 15 mins ago - his phone rang but he didn’t answer.

Please somebody talk me down. I don’t mind if he’s pissed and crashed at someone’s house, I don’t care if he is hung over today, he rarely gets a night out and I want him to have had fun. I am just very very worried especially with the awful weather that he is hurt or something happened on the walk home or something. Gah! Grip please?

OP posts:

JeremyCorbynsCoat · 09/12/2018 05:57

Not much help I know OP but I'd be worried too.

Do you know his friends that he was out with well enough to ask if he's with them/ok?

TeddyIsaHe · 09/12/2018 06:00

I know you’re worried but in all likelihood he’s got too drunk and crashed on someone’s sofa and you’ll hear from him soon.

Keep trying his phone and get in touch with his friends if you know who he went out with?

BetterEatCheese · 09/12/2018 06:00

Hopefully as they were going back to someone's for drinks he has just fallen asleep. Hope you hear from him soon

MyNameIsJane · 09/12/2018 06:00

A hand hold from me here too.

LEMtheoriginal · 09/12/2018 06:00

He is only a few hours late. Most likely crashed out on someone's sofa if they have been drinking all night.

I'd be worried too but the likelihood is that he is fine and will simply be nursing a hangover tomorrow/today.

If you cant sleep distract yourself with your phone - download a mindless game. Or read if you can concentrate.

You can rip him a new one in the morning

brizzledrizzle · 09/12/2018 06:01

I'd be worried too but he's almost certainly crashed out at their house and is now fast asleep.

Scarydinosaurs · 09/12/2018 06:01

That is a worry- when did you last hear from him?

celeryeater · 09/12/2018 06:02

If he hardly ever goes out I bet he just got too drunk and ended up sleeping on someone's sofa. If there were pre drinks they may have gone back to someone's house later too.

TheFuckfaceWhisperer · 09/12/2018 06:02

He’s probably crashed out at a friend’s house. Try not to worry, I’m sure he’ll be home soon with a raging hangover!

Inkspellme · 09/12/2018 06:04

He’s asleep maybe on someone’s couch with some drink on him and a bounced text to you telling you this?

He was due tone with people so if anything had happened they would have raised the alarm. Do you know any surnames to start looking for contact details? Does your DH do social media at all? Can you access his? Look to see if you can contact them?

I would imagine the police would be at your door by now if anything had happened to him.

Original poster

MarinaMarinara · 09/12/2018 06:05

I know who three of them are in terms of being able to identify them on his Facebook friends list (I’ve met two of those three as in he has introduced me to them when we have bumped into them in town, the third has an unusual first name). Would it be too weird and paranoid to message them? I don’t want him to feel like I’m checking up on him or being stalkery with his mates or whatever but I am genuinely worried. Just tried ringing again. This is so not like him.

OP posts:

mrsjg · 09/12/2018 06:05

I'd be worried too. He's probably crashed at one of the mates house.

Bit of a long shot but if he had an iPhone and you knew his iTunes account password you could use find my iPhone and it would show where he was.

Northernlass69 · 09/12/2018 06:07

Speaking from experience, they're usually crashed out on a sofa. It's shit though. I know if roles were reversed my dh would call the police.

Inkspellme · 09/12/2018 06:09

I’d throw a friendly message to his friends and see if you can just get confirmation of which sofa he’s on.

Original poster

MarinaMarinara · 09/12/2018 06:12

I know in all likelihood he has just crashed on someone’s sofa and that genuinely wouldn’t be an issue, I mean I’ll take the mickey and be a bit unimpressed that he didn’t let me know but that’s it. I’m just getting a bit worked up and anxious in case something happened when he was walking home from being out (so after leaving his friends). It would be about a mile/mile and a half, and it’s such a quiet town that if he fell or something there is no guarantee anyone would walk past for hours. Stomach has gone all knotty. Urgh horrid.

OP posts:

Weenurse · 09/12/2018 06:15

Hand hold here as well

knowingkaleidoscope · 09/12/2018 06:19

Give it until 9 and if you haven't heard from him by them message one of his friends.

knowingkaleidoscope · 09/12/2018 06:19

Then*

lovetherisingsun · 09/12/2018 06:21

He's probably totally fine, apart from being sick as a dog. He'll be crashed out somewhere and won't wake for another couple of hours. I wouldn't message the friends just yet x

ErictheGuineaPig · 09/12/2018 06:23

I would send a message to his friends, just a lighthearted one, to ask where he is. I'm sure as everyone says he's crashed out on a sofa somewhere but if it's out of character then I understand your worry. One of my husband's friends did this - again very out of character - and his wife was ringing round out of her mind with worry. None of us thought she was wrong to do so, we understood why she was worried. He finally turned up having stayed in a hotel - I think everyone ripped him a new one, including his friends!

bunintheoven88 · 09/12/2018 06:25

The likelihood of him falling asleep on someone's couch massively outweighs the likelihood of something bad having happened to him, but I know you can't help but worry, I would be the same.

If you want to message his mates then do it, your not checking up on him, you just want reassurance of where he is, what's the worst that can happen? All I would say is that if they have all had a skin-full, they probably won't be checking their phones for another few hours yet.

Do any of his mates have wives/girlfriends you could message who will be more likely to reply to you? It's only a message in the grand scheme of things, just be truthful and explain.

brizzledrizzle · 09/12/2018 06:26

I'd message his friends now, it's early but not too early in the circumstances. I still think he's on a sofa but he should be letting you know.

Inkspellme · 09/12/2018 06:28

Do you know the route he would have taken on the walk he would have done? Have you access to a car?

Would it put your mind at ease to out the little ones in the car and drive the route? It would help maybe to be actively doing something?

Original poster

MarinaMarinara · 09/12/2018 06:32

Going to Facebook message. Feel like a bit of a paranoid tit but am pretty worried.

OP posts:

Original poster

MarinaMarinara · 09/12/2018 06:34

The route home that I think he would have taken is through the park, so can’t drive it really. Might go and drive the bit either side once my toddler is awake. Have sent a message. Urgh - hate feeling so bloody paranoid!!

OP posts:

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