Gahh... DH not yet home after a night out, hugely out of character, help me stay calm please?

[MarinaMarinara]

My lovely DH is a SAHD and very very rarely goes out. Tonight he went out locally with 3 or 4 friends, I’ve met a couple of them briefly (so know first names) but don’t really know them. It was drinks at one person’s house, then out to a bar in our (small rural) town then back to someone’s house for more drinks.

We figured he’d be home around 2am. I made the spare room up just in case he was a bit worse for wear, so he didn’t wake up me and the baby.

It’s now quarter to six, I’m awake with the baby (toddler will be through in the next half hour too) the weather outside is awful and he still isn’t home, and I am really worried.

The text I sent him half an hour ago has been delivered but not read. I rang him once 15 mins ago - his phone rang but he didn’t answer.

Please somebody talk me down. I don’t mind if he’s pissed and crashed at someone’s house, I don’t care if he is hung over today, he rarely gets a night out and I want him to have had fun. I am just very very worried especially with the awful weather that he is hurt or something happened on the walk home or something. Gah! Grip please?

Mine did this years ago, although sans baby at the time. Had got wasted and was asleep/sick on mate's sofa. Didn't turn up until midday.

You’ve good reason to check on him as this isn’t typical behavior so def not paranoia. The fact that he drinks like this so rarely makes it more likely he’s crashed on a sofa. Maybe hasn’t texted you as he was intending to go home but then fell asleep.

I really hope you get a call soon 💐

Thanks all. Have messaged all three people I know he was with - though as others have said, as they were all drinking together they’re probably out of it too and none of them will have read the message yet. Hate this! Think I will be going for a drive once the toddler is up. I just hope he is crashed on a sofa.

Hope he comes back soon.

Drink is evil

Midday @Dimsumlosesum ?! You must have been beside yourself!

Tried calling him again - but he is a heavy sleeper generally so if he has got pissed I can imagine that his phone would not wake him.

Not sure there is much else I can do right now tbh. Really quite anxious now.

I think crashed out on a friends sofa too

Don't worry. If anything had happened to him someone - friends, police etc would have let you know by now. It's very early morning. Would be rude to call you earlier because he would disturb you.

If you haven't heard by 11am start to ring round. That's when it's worrying, not during the night.

Inclined to agree @todayiwi

Another hand hold here it does feel horrible. I'm sure he's just crashed out on a sofa too. Not much else you can do until it gets light. Have a cuppa and I hope he messages soon.

I hope he gets in touch soon OP. I don't think you were being paranoid, I would have done the same with the Facebook messages x

Hope he turns up soon.

More likely he's crashed on somebody's sofa but I know how you're feeling I'd feel the same.

Hope he is just flat out asleep.. let us know when you get hold of him

Haven’t you got Find Friends turned on? Are you in a family group?

I can see why you’re worried but I’m sure he’s just asleep on someone’s sofa

Hand holding op. Would it help distract you if we gave you some standard mn responses :
When he walks in hand him the baby and tell him you're going to be out all day, the bathroom needs cleaning and the floor needs hoovering. Then book A Spa Day. On his credit card.

And then to ltb.

Hope he turns up soon OP.

This happened to a friend’s dh who rarely drinks. It turned out he’d spent the night in the hedge outside his house. He’d lost his glasses and didn’t know where he was, so just slept there till daylight.

Hope he turns up soon op. I’d be tying myself in knots too.

Oh and ltb of course
Do you have anyone who could come round for an hour in a little while to watch the children while you do the walk? Just to put your mind at rest?

Ha stealth polar bear - I’m sure he’s ok op
Have a cuppa and one of his friends will be awake soon

This sounds horrible, im impressed you managed to wait so long to message his friends to be honest. Likelyhood is he is asleep on a friends sofa like others have said. Although i would recommend walking or driving the route. I had to do this once, found him asleep outside sports direct back when 'pound a pint' was a thing. Town center and not one person stopped to make sure he was okay. Anyway, he was, just very confussed and had A LOT of making up to do! Keep us posted and good luck

Haha thanks @StealthPolarBear

Always wondered about how the spa day/credit card thing was meant to work as assumed finances were joint in most families. (It defo doesn’t work in my case as our money is all joint and I’m the sole earner...)

Still no call but both kids are awake now so at least I am less likely to dwell on it for a bit.

Hope he's safe OP and you get an answer soon

I am sure he is crashed somewhere. I hope he gets in touch soon.

My husband is always doing this! He rarely goes out too but when he does - I am forever panicking. He never replies to my messages and does not pick up the phone! He rolls in around 6:30-7:00am in the morning and he wonders why I am angry! I am sure your partner will be fine. He has probably got carried away and ended up drinking way too many and either still out or crashing at a friends house! When he arrives, give him a massive bollocking!

Hope he’s home soon