My fucking puppy

[KeepServingTheDrinks]

Has just eaten one of my trainers. Properly eaten all of the back. I'm not sure they're wearable.

Like... I can afford to buy trainers for myself at this time of year???? Exercise Buddy is going to think I'm lying because I've reached that point in December where I can't be bothered to do any more exercise until January anyway, so he'll think I've concocted an excuse.

DD is furious with me for throwing said trainer at puppy and isn't speaking to me.

"Puppy" btw is over a year old, so not officially a puppy any more. She's won 3 awards for obedience and training at puppy school (I want my money back!)

Should I kill her?

Or has anyone got any other stories of their "beloved" pet to make me feel better?

p.s. We've already decided we can't have a tree this year (because the little git would trash it) so my heart is already broken

p.p.s If I posted a picture of the little git, you'd all tell me how cute she is and therefore how unreasonable I am. This makes me hate her more!

Many years ago my cat was sick on a job application form. This was in the days when they posted the form to you, you filled it in and sent it back. I did not get the job.

Not sure throwing a trainer at a dog is something to be proud of?

Please post a picture!

I hope the trainer didn't hit the dog

You admitted you threw a shoe at your dog and jokingly asked if you should kill it? Uhm ok....

You sound horrible. Throwing it at the dog?

Poor puppy dog

I think your attempt at humour has fallen a bit short of the mark op. Throwing things at a dog - puppy or not - and calling her a little git make some of us a bit uncomfortable.

I hope the slipper hit the dog on the arse.

Please tell us you didn’t actually throw a shoe at your dog?

and calling her a little git make some of us a bit uncomfortable.

I call my cat a git, because he is one.

I wouldn't ever throw things at him though. I do hope that was a bad joke.

This is your fault, you left the shoes where she could get to them. How cruel throwing a shoe at her. You sound like the fit!

My puppy cost 5K in floors and 1K in sofas. And who knows how much in addition to that. I didn't throw anything. DH wanted to but didn't.

If you leave it and puppy height and it gets wrecked it's your fault not the pup's

When ours was a puppy the household rule was that anything left out below waist level was left at the owners risk.

Bit annoying when she chewed the hall skirting board though

Oh dear, OP...

FGS it’s a lighthearted thread, take the rod out of your arses you miserable bunch.

OP I feel your pain, when my girl was a pup she chewed part of the skirting board

My dogs just chewed a hole in my pj bottoms which I had taken off the go to bed.

Previously he has chewed ....

My childhood snoopy
Approx 6 seatbelts (mot time is always fun)
An ottomon footstool/ coffee table
Scratched the paint off the bathroom door, in his defence it was very badly painted, but has revealed the previous bright orange paint underneath (?!!!)
Various baby toys
The beautiful bespoke crate my dh built him out of an old cot (bless him he looked so proud at the bottom of the stairs the morning he finally broke free!!)
The stairgate
A cushion
A few books
A phone and Tablet (just teeth breaking screen not chewed) my dh's fault for being untidy!!
Almost every dog toy he has ever had!

He is an arsehole!! But he is 2 now and can be safely left at home for 4 hours without trashing the place. The main problem at the moment is baby toys he just doesn't understand they aren't his to play with.

Thank you for all your amusing stories!

some sense of humour failures... not sure the OP needed to write lighthearted but apparently it is needed on every thread now... if you feel uncomfortable at what’s clearly a joke maybe step off the thread planet

OP - puppy sounds like a right git and I would definitely demand refund on training.

My dog has just basically trashed the bottom half of my Christmas tree, feel your pain.

Your fault OP, and if I knew who you were I'd come and take that puppy away as you are cruel and I'm glad your DD is prepared to tell you so.

Rather arrogant of you to come on here and spout about your disgusting treatment and shit attitude towards an animal who's eaten something that you left there, when it was left alone and got bored. Go and walk your puppy and never hit it again. You don't deserve a dog

MrsTerryPratcett presumably it would be quite difficult to throw a floor or a sofa though. I call my puppy an arsehole. He doesn't seem to mind. It certainly didn't deter him from shitting on my bed- which is a considerably bigger inconvenience than being called a name he doesn't understand.

Strangle him You did threaten to send him to a rescue, right?
Mademoiselle BrokenCat aka Matilda is a dick. She chews cables, cost me 2 new chargers. Gets into any cupboard I open. Getting batteries out for fairy lights earlier, she tried to get into cupboard where they are kept. I actually told her to fuck off. I must have sounded serious because she did. She never usually listens. She also jumps into the fridge
I gave up on the idea of a Christmas tree. Have various pretty but relatively indestructible plastic lights, flashing mini tree etc. At least she can only knock them onto the floor, not damage them or herself. She's 3. Utter twat. Love her o bits really.

Look at the face on her. She’s a pure beast