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Original poster

My fucking puppy

98 replies

KeepServingTheDrinks · 06/12/2018 22:41

Has just eaten one of my trainers. Properly eaten all of the back. I'm not sure they're wearable.

Like... I can afford to buy trainers for myself at this time of year???? Exercise Buddy is going to think I'm lying because I've reached that point in December where I can't be bothered to do any more exercise until January anyway, so he'll think I've concocted an excuse.

DD is furious with me for throwing said trainer at puppy and isn't speaking to me.

"Puppy" btw is over a year old, so not officially a puppy any more. She's won 3 awards for obedience and training at puppy school (I want my money back!)

Should I kill her?

Or has anyone got any other stories of their "beloved" pet to make me feel better?

p.s. We've already decided we can't have a tree this year (because the little git would trash it) so my heart is already broken

p.p.s If I posted a picture of the little git, you'd all tell me how cute she is and therefore how unreasonable I am. This makes me hate her more!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
GooodMythicalMorning · 07/12/2018 14:21

Someone ate the arm of the sofa last week...Hmm

My fucking puppy
AlanThePig · 07/12/2018 14:28

Mine ate DH's wallet. Entirely his own fault as leather wallets and puppies were never going to mix.
He spent the next 2 years having to apologise for the state of his teeth marked driving licence when he used it for ID 😁

tinstar · 07/12/2018 21:46

Pebblespony - not sure what you mean by calling a trainer a 'soft shoe'. I bet if I threw one at you, especially in temper, you wouldn't consider it 'soft'. I imagine it would hurt. And if you weren't expecting it you'd probably be shocked and possibly frightened too? But if I do that and then dress it up as a 'funny' story does that make it okay?

Interested in this thread?

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Dogs
Original poster
KeepServingTheDrinks · 07/12/2018 23:42

Gorgeous pictures. Mollie the collie is amazing. I bet she's going to take a lot of walking!

Who knew there were so many balls in a bean bag!

Fabulous stories. Thank you.

papayasareyum and Broken11Girl - my best friend had a cat that liked to do that with all cables. We lived with her at the time. It made watching tv or or listening to music quite uncertain.

OP posts:
WishingIDidnot · 07/12/2018 23:49

Oh my puppy is a prick too. She refuses to puss outside and rejoices at doing it inside. Then happily tries to snatch the kitchen roll as I clean up.

She's also are my boot and pissed in my bed.

I could happily throttle her some days.

Good job she's cute and I do rather like her somedays

SheWhoDaresGins2 · 08/12/2018 00:11

This cutie is called Buster the Bastard. He is one, wouldnt have him any other way. He does protest poos on the landing if I lock him out the bathroom. I swear he tried to spell Cunt once, there was a definate C then a U before he ran out of shit GrinGrin

My fucking puppy
SheWhoDaresGins2 · 08/12/2018 00:12

He also devours loo rolls

CheshireChat · 08/12/2018 00:24

Mollie the collie looks like she knows exactly what she's doing!

I routinely throw stuff at the cat (either light or deliberately miss)- she either doesn't budge or tries to nick whatever and play with it.

However, we did threaten a dog I had that we'll send him away (former stray), he looked utterly crestfallen and terrified Xmas Sad.

Chesneyhawkes1 · 08/12/2018 00:25

Buster is gorgeous. He looks like a terrierist like Banjo the bean bag destroyer

My fucking puppy
Original poster
KeepServingTheDrinks · 08/12/2018 00:34

such gorgeous pictures!!!!

Toileting inside - YES. Little git crapped on the upstairs landing last night (I kid you not) 10 minutes after her 4th walk of the day. She just likes to shit there.

And she goes all Andrex-puppy-only-with-more-teeth about loo roll as well. She likes to make confetti.

CheshireChat our last dog was a rescue who'd been abandoned by previous owners. I think this made her more grateful. Current dog has no sense of consequence.

OP posts:
SheWhoDaresGins2 · 08/12/2018 01:12

Chesney thanks. He's a Lakeland crosd. Crossed with a tasmanian devil I think Grin Banjo is gorgeous!

Leonie87 · 08/12/2018 01:24

This thread is hilarious for the hysteria alone 😂

why people willingly invite creatures who shite all over your house and chew the fuck out of your belongings, I will simply never understand. 🤷🏻‍♀️

echt · 08/12/2018 05:30

Poor OP. Post on the Doghouse thread and get more reasoned responses.

ClemDanFango · 08/12/2018 09:23

I love that you’ve totally ignored every dickhead comment on this thread 😂 OP you’re my spirit animal 🤗

PineappleTart · 08/12/2018 09:29

You ate the trainer to get out of exercise didn't you?

Original poster
KeepServingTheDrinks · 08/12/2018 09:44

You got me, Pineapple...

OP posts:
KateGrey · 08/12/2018 09:53

Oh god this has confirmed I should not get a puppy. Two autistic children, toys, crayons and god knows what else left out I’m fairly sure now it would be an utterly disastrous idea. I will keep looking at cute puppy pictures to fill my desire instead.

cushioncovers · 08/12/2018 09:58

GrinGrin loving this thread op.

cushioncovers · 08/12/2018 09:59

These puppy pictures are gorgeous

Stephisaur · 08/12/2018 10:02

I lost about 5 pairs of shoes when my dog was younger. Good job she’s cute because they were really comfy shoes, but from next so cost me a fortune in replacing them!

On a serious note, does your dog have anything that they’re allowed to chew? Ours were much better once we bought some Kongs for them to enjoy :)

cushioncovers · 08/12/2018 10:04

I have a cat. When he was kitten and up until he was two years old he chewed and ruined every single window blind we have. I can't afford to replace them so we have claw and teeth marks in every one of them. He's also lifted up and clawed half the carpets. All my windows have nose smudges and paw marks on them. And everything is covered in cat hair. He is a fat ginger git. But we love him and he's spoilt rotten.

My fucking puppy
Lollypop27 · 08/12/2018 10:31

Well my two hits have ruined the nativity set. The puppy has eaten baby Jesus and the lab has taken the heads of Jospeh and the wise men with his tail 🙈

I’m worried they think dogs trust is their names as I say it so much.

ForalltheSaints · 08/12/2018 10:37

Lollypop27 I think your puppy does not fully understand what the idea of transubstantiation means. Presumably not taught as part of puppy training.

I am glad I am a cat lover after reading this thread. Supportive of the OPs DD view and response though.

InstantGratificationMonkey · 08/12/2018 10:49

Takes a special doggy photo for me to go aww but love yours Chesneyhawkes 😊

Chesneyhawkes1 · 08/12/2018 11:30

@InstantGratificationMonkey aw thank you. I think he's very cute but I'm biased. I often tell him he's lucky he is as he wouldn't get away with being such a little monkey otherwise.