My fucking puppy

[KeepServingTheDrinks]

Has just eaten one of my trainers. Properly eaten all of the back. I'm not sure they're wearable.

Like... I can afford to buy trainers for myself at this time of year???? Exercise Buddy is going to think I'm lying because I've reached that point in December where I can't be bothered to do any more exercise until January anyway, so he'll think I've concocted an excuse.

DD is furious with me for throwing said trainer at puppy and isn't speaking to me.

"Puppy" btw is over a year old, so not officially a puppy any more. She's won 3 awards for obedience and training at puppy school (I want my money back!)

Should I kill her?

Or has anyone got any other stories of their "beloved" pet to make me feel better?

p.s. We've already decided we can't have a tree this year (because the little git would trash it) so my heart is already broken

p.p.s If I posted a picture of the little git, you'd all tell me how cute she is and therefore how unreasonable I am. This makes me hate her more!

Post on the Doghouse thread and get more reasoned responses.

You're joking right? I hid the DogHouse long ago because it was so awful.

DDog ate all of the wooden handles on the chest of drawers. Gnawed clean through them.

I came home and there was a little pile of sawdust on the floor and screws poking out where the handles once were

Bastard pizza dog is no longer with us but he ate everything! An external house wall he actually ate he way out of the god damn house ffs! My shoes, my bras, my purse and the cash in it, my dining room chairs basically everything I classed as mine pizza dog ate.

I once came home to discover my pooch had opened a tube of blue paint and redecorated the hallway. White walls, cream carpet...you get the picture!

I cried, she didn't care. She's a twat but we love her!

ps. we threaten to send her to prison (aka next doors garden shed) if she won't take her meds

Can't tell you how many shoes we lost to our now 3 year old lab and now new puppy lab has eaten 3 tree decorations so far today - little shit for brains 😡 She. Chews. Everything.

My bastard Shih Tzu puppy drinks my unattended coffee, uses my shoes to eat food off and last week he ate a fan my DD was given 10 years ago, it lit up and everything

He’s also trying to eat the baubles.

Get him a long stuff it with treats and wet food will keep him busy for hours.

I used to have a puppy who was not really into hugs and cuddles. One day he run across the room and jumped on my lap as I was sitting on the sofa. Gave me enough time to think “Awww he lovesick me really and does want a cuddle” before doing diarrhea all over me and the sofa.

Same dog did same thing but this time landed on my plate with pasta in red sauce.

He also knocked me over into a pile of needles.

I could go on...

@SylviaAndSydney my late Mum had a shih Tzu. He really put the Shit in his name.
He'd spend any walk nose to the ground and if you didn't get to whatever the treasure was first he'd eat it. Kids dummies, tissues, a firework etc. This could have all been solved if she'd have just muzzled him but Mum refused.
His piece de resistance was getting hold of a whole strip of Mums water tablets. He ate the bloody lot. It culminated in several hours in the emergency vets force feeding him charcoal and the following day he peed for England.

So yeah, good luck

@keepservingthedrinks as a Labrador owner I feel your pain, although he's hardly chewed anything. My son's house rabbit now, he's known as the furry fecker, if it's at rabbit mouth height it's his.
Love the pic of you and DDog, although I did snort in quite an unlady-like manner that there's only one shoe in it....that should have been your warning!

Let's see... In the 7 years she's "owned" me, Resident collie has:
Turned a lovely pair of leather gloves into fingerless gloves.
Pulled they eyes off a Shaun the Sheep cuddly toy and proceeded to remove the stuffing from the head of said toy. She then chewed the eyes to rub it in.
Chewed a pair of fairly expensive high heels (amongst numerous other shoes that have been eaten)
Stolen half a roast chicken from the plate it was on at the back of the kitchen unit without moving the kitchen roll covering it. She then ate her ill gotten gains along with half a jar of jam that she managed to steal from the kitchen.
Stole and ate an entire carton of eggs. We only discovered what had happened when we found bits of egg shell in the garden. We just thought we'd forgot to pack the eggs at the checkout.
Somehow managed to get hold of a chocolate orange which was in a cupboard out of reach and eat the whole thing while I was at work. With no ill effects (even the vets were impressed).
Destuffed numerous squeaky soft toys.
Removed the squeak from every squeaky toy she has been bought.
Destroyed any toy that doesn't squeak.
Helped herself to a syrup pudding and custard when I turned my back for a split second (never do that with a collie).
Helped her brother when he stayed with us for a few days to start dismantling the door frame of the bedroom and chew a hole in the bedroom door.
Those are the ones I can remember.

My cat is a chump. A 7 kilo, furry faced, evil-incarnate chump. I call him every name under the sun. He had pulled up the edge of most of my carpets, he shits on the skirting board next to his litter tray for a laugh, he randomly attacks me for no good reason (I have actual, proper scars) and he has managed to dislodge the bottom of a handrail on the attic stairs. He steals my food and claws my sofa. He stares open mouthed at 'ghosts' just over my shoulder. I did a 12 hour shift the other day with no food breaks at all. I brought home a pizza. In the time it took to have a wee, he broke into the pizza and stole all the ham. He's a wanker.

But I love him as he's so fucking gorgeous. Even when he wakes me up at four in the morning by sticking his paw in my mouth. Utter shit pot that he is.

Things my dogs have chewed/eaten as puppies:

• One pair of hiking boots
• A full packet of curry powder (poor dog, he was so thirsty afterwards)
• A mobile phone
• A chair leg
• The fringe off several rugs
• The edging off a nice set of towels I had just bought

We've got an 8mo Westie... her nickname is 'fucking little shitbag' (I love her really)

she will steal/chew anything unattended and not nailed down (she'd steal the nails too if she could) Phones, tablets, socks, pants, sweets, plates, bowls.... I've watched her try and drag an entire holdall under the kitchen table the once, and watched her trot past with one of the DC's onsies in her mouth....

She loves ripping up tissues. Refuses to pee outside, eats her own poo repeatedly, terrorises our older dog and generally makes a complete bloody nuisance of herself.

We've threatened to rehome her repeatedly, but then she decides to do something adorable.. and the look of sheer JOY on her face when she's got something she shouldn't, and the frantically wagging tail are hilarious.

I had a cat he used to give plenty of vocal warning before he was sick one day he was sat in an open window (DOWNSTAIRS ) began to warble so I pushed him to encourage him out into the garden he went backwards puked in the frame sprayed it all over me the kitchen my clean washing up then he looked at my face and legged it furry twat took me ages to clean up

He also got a uti and pissed on the extension lead fusing the entire house surprisingly he survived with a new hairstyle and a sore tip

Mine has a sense of the adventurous coupled with no morals, no guilt, no idea of consequences, no shame. And she's a brazen hussy.

You've pretty much described madmutt!

My 5 month old cockapoo has broken her leg being a dickhead, taken various underwear into the street, including my 'nice fancy pants'. Eaten a bank card, shat ony friends coat and protest pees whenever she doesn't get her own way.

Puppies are little furry arseholes.

Mine dressed as an elf on revenge for the arseholeness

I have owned various Cavaliers for 40 years. One in particular was a chewer beyond the normal puppy teething age.
I started a physics degree 25 years ago at the advanced age of 41 and spent £15 on a fantastic science hardback book which I couldn't really afford. I left it on the sofa while I went up to have a bath. Bastard dog chewed the spine. It was still a serviceable book but every time I look at it it reminds me how I learnt never to leave anything I value lying around. No Cavalier since has been so destructive.

he survived with a new hairstyle and a sore tip

I have a great mental image of that!

These pets are bastards. They abuse our love!

Gee AlanThePig, thanks for that

Cute dog !
My friend had a sheepdog that greeted you at face height when you walked in the room then proceeded to spin like a whirling dervish.

It also went to obedience training and behaved very well in class. As soon as it was out the door , back to normal !
It also had to have little boots to wear because it had something wrong with its paws.

He went hillwalking with it many times and had the lead attached to rucksack straps. On a snowy descent , he decided just to toboggan down on his butt , forgot about the dog . It ended up "water-skiing" down the slope behind him . Not sure if the dog was too happy about it .
It also had so much energy !

I noticed you had a dog on one foot and a plimsoll on the other @Keep!
Reminded me of a French and Saunders sketch ( with cats )

At that age my bastard of a pub ate the tassles of my brand new Clark's shoe, just the one of course

He also had an upset tummy this week and puked horribly smelly stuff on the living room rug and then we found he had already done it all over our bed...poor thing

This summer he was a bit of a handful on holiday and I may have hissed to my husband something about rehoming and getting a more 'appropriate' dog

Love him really