Works Xmas do-what am I missing?

[Ahardmanisgoodtofind]

I've been working for around 18years now and only ever had one works Christmas do (I was 17, was a free bar and I got caught with my boyfriend of the time in the ladies loos )
I feel like I've been missing out! Please share tales of your best/worst Christmas parties, so I can either live vicariously or feel like I'm not really missing anything
(I've been working in pubs the last 16years, always promised a late celebration in January/February- never happened though)

Ours have been pretty sedate since the headteacher got drunk, fell down the stairs and insulted everyone
She doesn’t come anymore

I used to work in 'hospitality' (I carried out overpriced microwaved meals).

The teachers were the funniest- totally wild and out for a good time

The policemen and lawyers were just arses. Doctors could be a mixed bag.