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Original poster

What incidents from childhood do your family bring up about you growing up that you don't agree with

86 replies

SpudUDontLike · 04/12/2018 22:18

My parents always seem to bring up things which I remember as one off incidents but to them are completely character defining of my whole childhood.

Now my DC are getting older they will always roll out the family "legendary" story of one time they asked me to tidy my room as a teenager for some pocket money and my reply was "I don't want the money" - delivered with a follow up line along the lines of how I was so lazy I couldn't even be paid to tidy my room.

It seems to define my whole character for them even though it only happened once!! So annoying!

Please tell me other people have this too? I wasn't a perfect child but certainly not a bloody lazy one and we used to do loads of jobs around the house.

OP posts:
BundyLancroft · 06/12/2018 14:20

This thread has made me feel very sad about all the shitty experiences, but comforted because I now know I'm not the only one.

My mum insists that on one occasion, I hit her when I was a teenager. She brings it up now and then in a 'remember when you took your temper out on me...' way, and it makes my blood boil. How can she misremember something like that?

In fact, what happened was that she went totally mental one day, physically attacked me, held me down and banged my head repeatedly on the floor, basically beat me up. All because her boyfriend was leaving her because he couldn't cope with being a stepdad. I was rarely home and didn't give him any grief (had done about 4 yrs earlier when I was 12, but that was 4 years earlier!) I had not hit her even once (wasn't in me to ever do that), and had tried my best to get away from her and held her wrists to try and stop her hitting me. I went into school the next day with scratches all up my arms and face where she had clawed at me, bruises and a very sore head. The mental scars were far worse, I was completely shocked and traumatised. My friends noticed and told a teacher who talked to me about it. I remember downplaying it because I didn't want social services to be called and me and my sister put into care.

DM has a completely different memory of the event than I do, where it was me attacking her. I just don't understand how or why she thinks this.

MissHemsworth · 06/12/2018 14:23

The amount of stress & embarrassment I caused my mum when I 'ran off' in the supermarket one time & she eventually found me in a shop on the high street.

Apparently she was so cross with me for being so naughty she threw me on my bed when she got me home & shut me in my room. I was 2 years old FGS!!!!

NerrSnerr · 06/12/2018 14:34

My mum is an alcoholic. In 2000 as a university fresher I was so drunk I threw up in a night club. Whenever my mum does something stupid when drunk including breaking bones, lying down for a rest in the road etc she says 'at least I wasn't sick in a night club'. It was once. 18 years ago.

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MissionItsPossible · 06/12/2018 15:33

@ClickyJoints
I'm not sure you have got over your obsession, I mean you’ve even got the sound that dolphins make in your name… Grin
Just warn them in advance you read this thread and now you are scared of them: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3386868-AIBU-to-be-livid-how-dolphins-are-portrayed-compared-to-how-they-are?

goforkyourself · 06/12/2018 16:37

My mother made a 'joke ' last year about me being a nightmare for not getting out of bed when I was a teen. ERR NO!! I did a paper round from the age of 12, cycled six miles every Saturday and Sunday (and every day during the school holidays) to work at a riding school; later on had holiday jobs in a safari park and a supermarket. All through university I had bar jobs and during the summer breaks worked in a care home and spent one summer working abroad.

I pointed this out and told her she'd confused me with my brother goldenchild who used to sleep until midday when he was off school/university and had never pulled a pint in his life. She was all 'Hmmm yes, you're right now you mention it'.

Really fucking pisses me off AngryAngryAngry

EvaReady · 06/12/2018 17:43

I didn't do additional maths at GCSE level and had to work my butt off to catch up for Maths A level and did well. My mum always tells this story to explain why my sister failed her A level maths, even though she bloody well did do additional maths. It boils my blood that she tells me this story over and over again about why my poor sister failed her exam and how it was all very easy for me to get a good result!

RaspberryRipple1963 · 06/12/2018 17:46

When I was 8,I lost a purse with about 30 pence in it (this was back in the early 70s and 30 pence would have been the equivalent of about 4 quid in today's money). My DM was absolutely furious with me. It was the first time that I'd ever lost money,and it was also the last. But from that day on,she had this opinion that I could not be trusted not to lose my purse,or any money that I had on me,and frequently made catty comments about it e.g. 'Well,we all know that Raspberry can't be trusted to look after money'. Nasty though it sounds,it was almost a relief when her memory started failing during the last few years of her life and she stopped referring to it.

cortex10 · 06/12/2018 17:47

That I laughed when I saw my mother slip on the stairs and injure her back - I was 18 months old at the time.

ClashCityRocker · 06/12/2018 18:04

In a similar vein, my mother has a photo wall at hers... Along with more recent pictures, she has a fair few of me and siblings when we were young.

There's a picture of a little six year old blonde girl, in a Swiss style dress.

She happened to be a playmate of mine. She was called abigail which I thought was a really pretty name. I can even remember when the picture was taken, it was before the school Christmas party. There is a picture of me that was actually taken the same day.

Mother is adamant it's me. It looks cock all like me, and cock all like other pictures of me from the same time. She's convinced the picture of me was taking on a different day.

WhipItGood · 06/12/2018 22:40

I’m 53 and my parents have always done this. Whatever it is they recall either never happened at all or maybe only happened once.

I often think they know nothing about me.

I find my mother’s recall of events is invariably wrong. She’s a great editor or rather denier of history, especially the bits that in truth don’t make her look too good.

ikltownofboothlehem · 06/12/2018 22:52

I was telling my mum it was difficult to get DS ready (when he was small) because he wanted to watch TV.

She smirked and shook her head saying 'now who does that remind me of'

I told her. It couldn't have been me as there was no morning tv when I was his age - not until I was mid-teens and I wasn't interested in what was on then either.

She also has this 'memory' of me running out of the room 'petrified at her shouting at me'. I was 13 and had mega-flounced to my room, not fled in terror.

WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 06/12/2018 23:02

Mine say I was unruly and just did what I wanted
Plus they never told me off shouted at me or whacked me Hmmpeople have very short memories

Maelstrop · 06/12/2018 23:12

My DM has rewritten out entire childhood in her head, and trots out constant bollocks as if we were lobotomised and have no memory of our first 18 years

OH yes, I know this bollocks! My dm cannot understand why all of her sister's DC have stayed local but me and my db moved countries. She claims we had the same upbringing as my cousins, except for the whole their dm never left them home alone to go to the pub, always took them out and didn't dump them for the entire summer holiday to entertain themselves (she's a teacher, so no excuse) She moans constantly that she doesn't see enough of us.I think she's just fucking deluded.

Original poster
SpudUDontLike · 06/12/2018 23:27

A real mix of stories here, some make me so sad that our parents misremember things. At least on this thread we can explain the truth without being accused of being sensitive!

@cortex10 I don't know why but yours really made me laugh!
That I laughed when I saw my mother slip on the stairs and injure her back - I was 18 months old at the time.

Just the ridiculous idea that an 18 month old would have malice to laugh at a back injury! Bloody hell!

OP posts:
TheKrakening3 · 06/12/2018 23:34

Apparently I am a messy person because when I was 4, Mum bought be fairy floss at a circus and I got it all over my face. When other parents are reminiscing on the terrible things their kids did (robbery, bullying, underage drinking etc) that is what she brings up. It is quite funny watching her tell it. She is genuinely horrified but the faces of the people she tells it to are great when they realise the entire story is small child makes a mess while eating fairy floss.

Original poster
SpudUDontLike · 06/12/2018 23:47

What I hate about the story my mum tells about me is that I can always tell when it's coming as she builds up to it the same way. It just makes me even more annoyed! I think Oh god, not this shit again Hmm

OP posts:
Ezzie29 · 07/12/2018 00:04

These are giving me second hand frustration! Luckily my mum isn’t too bad for this, the one thing that went on for a good few years was her being convinced I was good with money just because I’d managed to save sixteen pounds for a toy horse back when I was about 6. It is the one and only time in my life I have ever managed to save money towards something, I am notoriously bad with money. She’s finally realised this and tbh I sort of wish now I’d let her carry on thinking it as she’s always hassling me about getting some savings! Obviously she’s right...

Munder · 07/12/2018 00:14

My sister would regularly cast up things from the past.

As a small child I vandalised a library booky. I made the corners of the pages crinkly because I liked the texture of it whilst flicking through the book.

I remember the embarrassment and shame on my mums face when the librarian pointed out the state of the book and therefore had to pay for the damages.

I don't know what possessed me but I felt terrible about it for years.

My sister would tell the story again and again. Probably because she knew it stirred up shame in me.

The last time was when she said to my 5yo DD she saw an opportunity for me to come to harm myself as a baby (fall from height) and took great delight in allowing it to happen.

We are no contact now.

Munder · 07/12/2018 00:15

Book* not booky Grin

LittleMy77 · 07/12/2018 02:36

I struggled with Maths all the way through school and had to get additional tutoring to pass my GCSE in it, which I did successfully

I went on to do business and economics at Uni (including accounting Grin) and have spent 18 successful years working in financial services, and every single time I've got a pay rise or promotion, my mum says WITHOUT FAIL "do they know you're shit at maths? they'll find out you know! ha ha ha" like its some big fakery on my part

She also likes to still pass comment on our awful goth phase and how terrible we looked and dressed- despite refusing to buy anything except school uniform for me for 4 bloody years and me having to make do with handmedowns from my sister who was 3 sizes smaller than me!

Elfontheshelfiswatchingyoutoo · 07/12/2018 06:42

Some of these are hilarious!
What I'd be really interested to know is, people who have dp like this, stuck back 100 years ago etc, do you ever socialise with them now on a friends level...

It seems to me more a situation where perhaps families only see each other occasionally more formally? Rather than socialising as fiends more... If that makes sense. The relationship is stuck back in time.

Elfontheshelfiswatchingyoutoo · 07/12/2018 06:43

Eg sil who has zero relations with dh, only bossed him about anyway... When they did get on... Can only talk about dh micheal jackson phase it literally seems like the only thing she knows about her 40 + married dB who has 2 dc.

ALemonyPea · 07/12/2018 06:49

My mum refers to me as she-who-got-nothing-as-a-child. She reckons I got everything, I bloody well didn't. Never had trendy clothes, had to go to school with my Nana's coat as she wouldn't buy me one, went without me shoes for over a year even though the ones I had had holes in them, top and bottom. Endless list of how I did actually get nothing. My golden child sister otoh, got everything and still does. It's because I pointed it out once as an adult.

GandolfBold · 07/12/2018 07:20

My childhood was difficult with my DM and SD I had weekly contact with my DF and because I was his only child I was loved by my DGM very much. I wasn't spoilt but would be asked what presents I would like for Christmas and when I got them I would be called spoilt.

Once, when I was about 8, I cried when my DF took me home and said I didn't want to stay there but wanted to go home with DF. My mum will still talk about the tantrum I had and how I was an ungrateful child. What she doesn't look at is why, why might I possibly not want to come home to violent arguments, wicked punishments for misdemeanours and the general air of feeling that whatever we did was wrong. Nope, I was spoilt and ungrateful.

bunnyup · 07/12/2018 07:28

What I hate about the story my mum tells about me is that I can always tell when it's coming as she builds up to it the same way. It just makes me even more annoyed! I think Oh god, not this shit again 

Oh my god yes! My dm does exactly the same thing, has this knowing smile on her face, looks and me then turns to person (who has probably already heard the story several times) and says "I'll never forget the time that bunnyup...." and I think here we fucking go again

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