What incidents from childhood do your family bring up about you growing up that you don't agree with

[SpudUDontLike]

My parents always seem to bring up things which I remember as one off incidents but to them are completely character defining of my whole childhood.

Now my DC are getting older they will always roll out the family "legendary" story of one time they asked me to tidy my room as a teenager for some pocket money and my reply was "I don't want the money" - delivered with a follow up line along the lines of how I was so lazy I couldn't even be paid to tidy my room.

It seems to define my whole character for them even though it only happened once!! So annoying!

Please tell me other people have this too? I wasn't a perfect child but certainly not a bloody lazy one and we used to do loads of jobs around the house.

My mum also tells other people what she thinks I'm like (she's wrong). Last time she stayed at ours I was getting DD ready for school, the toe of her tights was a bit wet (hadn't dried on the line properly) so I have them 5 minutes in the tumble dryer. She went and told my brothers (who are WONDERFUL because they have penises and despite this still iron clothes ) that I'm so disorganised that I dry DD's uniform on the morning she has to wear it.

I rage internally each time I hear my mum tell the anecdote about how I "struggled so much when DD was a baby that I had to summon them to come & help". Yes, I did ask if they could come & stay at short notice when DD was 6 weeks old. To put it in context, when I was 37 weeks pregnant, DP and I have moved to a completely new area where we knew no one (a friend's ex-wife lived 15 miles away - that was it), I had a hideous labour with a tear which was stitched & they got infected, DP's grandfather died when DD was 10 days old and DP went away for 36 hours to the funeral, the following week he had to go away for two nights with work and then he suddenly had to go away again and DD (who was ebf) had a chest infection. I just needed a bit of looking after! Yes, it was a big ask as they live 4.5 hours away but, in the circumstances, still think it was entirely reasonable. It was also the first time I had asked for help since I left home to go to Uni 15yrs before that.
Sometimes there is also a reference to the ski trip tantrum which was undignified as I was about 15 years old at the time but I'd always been told that I could go on one school trip, previous ones had been ruled out for various reasons but my brother (2yrs younger) had then been allowed to go on them when his turn came around so it was frustrating to be told that I couldn't go on a trip again as my parents couldn't afford paying for me & my brother to go on a trip and they had already committed to him going on one. Apparently, it was different for him to go. I still don't know why!

I have never missed a plane journey in my life, unlike a close sibling, who has an even more laissez-faire approach to departure times than I do (I have indeed missed the odd train or bus, but I am far too tight to risk losing hundreds of pounds on a flight).

In spite of this, my mother CONSTANTLY brings up '...remember that time when you missed the plane to...', in spite of the fact that it WASN'T me - it was my sibling. I've never even been to the country that this supposed missed flight was supposedly going to.

I used to remind her of this, but I've kind of given up now and assume she's just trolling for a reaction.

Sorry I haven't read the whole thing but the dolphins story is amazing.

Trolled by dolphins lols brilliant, do feel for you tho.

My Dad was in my house for ten whole minutes yesterday morning. During that time he made two references to how messy I am. This was despite all major surfaces (don’t count bookshelves) being clear and ready to dust, the floor being ready to hoover, the fact that I have an eight week old baby and two other children, and I’m about to move house so a reasonable amount of chaos can be anticipated.

Because in his head I’m still 16 with a messy bedroom.

If I rise to it - and point out I clean the surfaces in his house because of the ingrained dirt - I’m told I’m overreacting.

The dolphin thing for me too but with White Musk perfume. My tastes have changed but I still receive it 26 years later.
I grew up in a family where both parents drunk excessive amounts of booze and would physically and mentally.attack each other and us. They would get us out of bed at 1 or 2 in the morning to tell us what shit kids we were or force us to pick sides in their arguments which always resulted in at least a week of being ignored and left out by the other one. Anyway. I digress. I accidentally got shit faced at the age of 15. I fell asleep in a flower bed and my so called best friend decided to rub soil in my face, clothes etc. When I woke up she was trying to get me to do dares (showing off that she could boss me around). One lad told her to leave me alone. When she wouldn't he went and got my mum. She put me in the bath and then to bed to sleep it off. For the past 25 years I get regular updates on the level of shame I brought upon the family and how I showed them up. Ok so you two fought so much that the neighbours called the police and then get done for drink driving but sure my one moment of madness as a teen is what tore this family to shreds.
I love my mum. But I refuse to drink with her as she gets maudlin and says the most wicked things. She knows that as soon as she starts on the vodka that's it for me. She's even tried ordering secretly but I always catch her out. It's boring.

Some amazing passive aggressive stories here! It just cracks me up that you get accused of being uptight if you try and defend yourself!

Yes! My family will go on and on about what an attention seeking child I was because I once came to the door naked while they were chatting with a neighbor. I was about four and happen to remember it really clearly - I just couldn’t find the pajamas I’d been told to put on and had no idea there was a man outside with them! I’m a massive introvert and not attention seeking at all but that’s how they like to portray me. It doesn’t make me angry because they’re brilliant parents otherwise but I certainly do not understand.

My Mum was regularly very violent towards me growing up. Quite often she would relate these incidents to MY children but with the violence left out, just my "naughty" behaviour recounted to them. Eg she told them about the time I cut my own hair - I was really little - and how she'd found it under the bed. She left out how she'd given me "a good hiding" for it, which involved dragging me round by my hair and throwing me across the room.

Then there are the tedious claims of how I wouldn't "wear anything but labels" and dressed in black all the time with the implication being that I saw myself as some kind of trendy alternative type. The labels thing was because I bought MYSELF a Naf Naf Top with my Saturday job money, once, and I don't ever remember dressing head to toe in black but certainly wore the same clothes day in day out for a year until the knees wore through and they were tiny on me as my Mum didn't like spending her money on teenagers clothes. Indeed as I got older and started earning and buying my own clothes, she would just take them and wear them herself and even guilt me into giving them to her. I was frightened of her so just let her do it.

I'm no contact with them now.

My mum often says that if she'd had me first she'd of had no more or that everything happens for a reason and the reason I'm here is to torture her because I was a brat.

No just autistic with a high IQ and lots of comorbid learning disabilities and difficulties and other health issues causing mental health issues that she and my father missed. Combine that with poor parenting due to lack of understanding because they missed everything that is wrong with me lead to massive amounts of anxiety and lashing out as a child.Every anecdote is related to me being 'precocious' or a brat and always leaves out the confusion and panic I felt constantly as a result of her parenting choices.

They know better now but it's still my fault somehow.

Also yes to the dolphin thing, except Harry Potter, PJ's and socks. Everything anyone buys me is HP related, PJ's or socks, even better is when the PJ's or socks are HP themed. I'd far rather stationary, different themed or patterned pj's or socks or t-shirts, art or photography stuff or books.

I just pass the stuff to charity shops or sell them when I can.

A bit like Gunpowder - my mother is convinced she knows me better than I do, or, rather, that's how it comes across. For example, one year I took some Christmas baking, including some Filo mince pies (my favourite) down to hers and her immediate reactions was to ask "Do you REALLY like them like that?" I was meant to answer no, because she doesn't and I'm not supposed to have tastes different to hers.

Or another time, after having spent a very trying weekend with her and the bitch (my sibling) I ended up bursting into tears having been told not to discuss something that the bitch had been invited to but chosen not to attend many years earlier, OUT OF EARSHOT OF SAID BITCH, in case it might upset her. Of course, she'd not been pulled up on any of the hurtful things she's said, in front of me, during the weekend. My mother had noticed the tears, but told me on the phone later that I'd not really been upset. It was a statement, not a question.

My family are convinced that I can’t do mornings and barely drag myself out of bed by 11am. I don’t remember being particularly bad for this ever but maybe I was as a teenager. Still, I am now in my 30s with DC and a full-time job and they’re still convinced it’s true. If I’m staying with parents and up before 8 (which is always), it’s “gosh, this must be early for you, I know what you’re like haha.”

To make it worse they still they tell the story of summers home from university when I slept ALL the time, was still in bed past lunchtime, never knew anybody could sleep that much. This happened for ONE summer - because I was working night shifts! They never remember the night shifts part though...

Apparently I really like owls, I mentioned to my family that I couldn't understand why my Fil kept buying me owl related items, they think it's hilarious and now also buy me owl related items.

@ClickyJoints you should really tell your family about your dolphin dislike. What if you die an untimely death and they scatter your ashes at seaworld?

I have two sisters and i am a completely different character to them, they are more needy, entitled, 'girlie' and cannot make a decision without referring to M&D, they are in their 30s, both married with kids but need validation from parents before they make any of their own parenting decisions . They also post a lot on FB about how much they love M&D, 'copy and paste if you love your mum more than life itself etc'

The above behaviour cannot be further from my mindset. It has always been like this, I always distanced myself from it and wider family members know that i am the 'normal' one.

However, my DM will always without fail refer to that year when 'you all put that thing on FB on mothers day, pics of me as the perfect DM' yada yada yada. She will not listen when i say that i have never done that, i dont feel that i need to etc etc.

Also 'you are all too sensitive', no i just dont want the piss taken out of me. But she continually refers to the 3 of us as the same character. It really fucks me off

My gran still says my brother pulled her cat's tail when he was a child and the cat was never the same ever again

My Mum likes to tell the story that she once told me that she had only wanted 4 children and I asked her if I as number 5 was I not wanted and oh how she laughed - my Mum finds this story hilarious and each time she tells it, my heart aches for the younger me, who felt desperately unloved and uncared for by her at the best of times.

My DM has rewritten out entire childhood in her head, and trots out constant bollocks as if we were lobotomised and have no memory of our first 18 years.

However, in the spirit of the thread, I wrote a poem once, I was 12, the school displayed it along with a few others. Since then I am known in the family as a great writer, incredibly talented, and will one day realise this and make a fortune.

I lost a tenner when I was 6 years old when my mum sent me to the shop to get her cigarettes. So I am forever reminded of that, and my parents don't trust me to hold cash. I am 38 now.

My poor, beautiful sensitive little sister, rebelled when she was 14 and fell pregnant aged 15, probably out of desperate loneliness, and she is now known as a troublemaker and lazy and cannot be trusted.

My cousin married his childhood sweetheart at 18. He was miserable, she was a complete cow and IMO emotionally abusive. The family felt sorry for him for years. He left her about 10 years later, was an amazing dad to his young daughter and never neglected his parenting role. I was so proud of him (she was fine btw, met someone else really quickly and was v happy).

However to this day he hasn't been forgiven by the family for leaving his poor wife and small child, how could he be so cruel etc. They hated her whilst he was married to her but now she is a fucking legend for 'getting back on her feet'

My mum doesn’t talk about our childhood much, probably because it was shite and she is in denial about her part in it. However she had on occasion referred to how squeamish I was about changing my own DCs nappies and the fuss I’d make and how she’d have to step in.

I’m actually in a cold rage thinking about it. It’s absolute bollocks. I had 3 DC (and childminded 2 others from 3 months). I was a SAHM and my DH worked very long hours and I changed nappies like any normal mother does. I am sure there was the odd poop explosion that made me 🤢 and I was happy to let mum step in and do a change if she was popping in for a cup of tea but to suggest that for 6+ years I was a drama queen diva who couldn’t cope with a shitty nappy is ridiculous.

This from the woman who is so squeamish she couldn’t touch vomit. If we were ill whilst Dad was on night shift, it would be left under a few sheets of newspaper until he came home to clear it up.

When I was 10 we went to see Jurassic Park at the cinema. I had an upset stomach and kept having to run to the loo. My family thought I was afraid of the film.

Even now, 24 years later, every time Jurassic Park comes on TV it's all 'Oooooh quick switch it off KeyboardCat might get scared and shit herself!"

Bastards.

My parents thought I was a rebel and refer to me as wild child. Even younger cousins who weren't born when I was a teenager will now refer to how wild I was then. I didn't take drugs. Didn't have a boyfriend until 16 and not sexually actively until 17. Got drunk for the first time at 14, and again at 15, then probably a few times every year. Came home past my 11pm curfew once in total.

Why was I so wild? Because I stood up to and answered back to my bullying, boorish stepdad who screamed in my face regularly if i said something he didn't like. Although our relationship improved when I was older and I made my peace with him before he died, the references to what a rebellious teenager I was actually really hurt me because they bring back those feelings of powerless rage and the injustice of my completely unwarranted treatment by him, fully sanctioned by my mum.

I love my parents but feel so angry about the time I was so rude to a teacher totally out of character!? Yes maybe because he was a complete bully and I was also being bullied terribly which he had witnessed and failed to report to my form teacher which was also his DW! Would never have been rude why did they mmm what's up with part time 😱

Apparently I was a really difficult awful teenager who made everyone's life difficult and was constantly arguing. My memory is of living with two extremely demanding over critical people and spending a huge amount of time studying for A Levels, hanging out with my youth drama group and sitting drinking cups of tea at my nans house to avoid being at home. They didn't give me pocket money so I also had weekend jobs to buy things. They never listened or tried to . My mother says how i should be greatful because they gave me a great life despite how poor they were (two full time teachers living in detached house with two cars: not poor). I managed to get to Cambridge and only went home once a year because I had no money and a lot of work but mum still says it was because I was too lazy to book my train ticket