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Original poster

do you stop buying Christmas presents for siblings children when they turn 18?

78 replies

papayasareyum · 02/12/2018 17:31

my eldest is 18 and both of my siblings said quite recently that they're not going to buy any more Christmas or birthday presents for her, as she's now an adult. I can't decide if this is very sensible of them as Christmas pressies are only for younger children, or a bit mean of them as we have a very small family and they're not having to buy lots of pressies for lots of people. What do you all think? Do you carry on buying gifts for nieces and nephews or do you stop?

OP posts:
PUGaLUGS · 02/12/2018 17:42

I have stopped buying for my niece and nephew. My DB has stopped buying for my two.

Our family is small too, but I think it’s sensible.

AppleKatie · 02/12/2018 17:48

Sensible- unless they also buy for you and other adults and then it’s nasty. But if it’s ‘just kids’ then fair enough.

Don’t do what my uncle did though and wait until his own kids were 20+ and then decide it was no presents for over 16s (I’m the youngest and guess how old I was Hmm ) that’s twatty.

TowerRingInferno · 02/12/2018 19:03

Stop when they leave school here.

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Billoddiesbeard · 02/12/2018 19:07

We stop when they reach 21.

GlitterPixie · 02/12/2018 19:11

We do a family Kris Kindle for all the extended family over 18 it’s great only once present each to buy for. We still buy individually for our immediate family, siblings etc separately

Flutternotsoshy · 02/12/2018 19:18

We have the just kids rule. (Under 18)...

Unless you're seeing them on Christmas day in which case you get a token present for them.

So in our scenario:
dbro and dsil plus their two over 18s are going to dsil's parents for dinner. No presents there.

Dsis and dbil plus their one over 18 are coming to our house for dinner. All three receive token presents.

Dsis (single) with her dd16 won't be with us but dneice will get a present as under 18.

Adversecamber22 · 02/12/2018 19:42

I stop buying presents at 18 but always buy a nice 21st birthday present.

itbemay · 02/12/2018 19:46

We have a small family but all spend the same on the dcs. All have 2 kids to buy for and some of the 'kids' are over 18. I wouldn't like to stop buying for my niece and nephew who are over 18 and then buy for their sibling under 18.

LuvMyBoyz · 02/12/2018 20:00

I stopped at 18. Such a relief.

BrokenWing · 02/12/2018 20:06

I stop at 21, think 18 is acceptable too.

Doghorsechicken · 02/12/2018 20:06

We stop at 18, Christmas is for kids really. I only buy for children & immediate family. Everyone else is either a meal/get together or a secret Santa scenario. Otherwise it gets silly & you are spending money for the sake of it.

bringbackthestripes · 02/12/2018 20:10

No, still giving but I’m not sure how long to carry on for. They get Birthday cash -their last one being a pretty generous sum for 21st then just cards after that but the over 21’s all have younger siblings so feels mean to exclude them at Christmas when their younger offspring will be opening something.

BikeRunSki · 02/12/2018 20:18

DNiece was 18 last month. I gave her a decent present and there no more birthday presents. I have a Christmas present for her, but I need to tell her (and my sister, her mother) that this will be the last. I’ll carry on for her little sister, as fully expect my sisters to stop buying for my dc, despite them being 8-11 years younger than their cousins.

pumpkinpie01 · 02/12/2018 20:23

I only have 3 nephews and nieces so will always buy for them . My sister buys for mine too

Katiebelle63 · 02/12/2018 20:53

It's best to stop buying Xmas presents at 18, if you go on much longer you may find as I did that they will have babies of their own and then you are expected to buy for the baby as well.

bluebellation · 02/12/2018 20:55

I stopped once they'd left university and were earning money. I reckoned as poor students they still needed presents Grin

candlefloozy · 02/12/2018 20:56

Yes I do.

BitOutOfPractice · 02/12/2018 21:03

No. I still buy presents for my nieces. Why would I stop?

DeezMutts · 02/12/2018 21:10

I stopped when the youngest in each family turned 18.

sockunicorn · 02/12/2018 21:12

we don't stop. we still buy for nieces/nephews. and my aunties/uncles still buy for me (and my kids). only difference is once nieces/nephews are 21ish and start careers or buying houses (generally just being functioning humans) they tend to start buying us gifts back.

AnnabelleLecter · 02/12/2018 21:16

Token gifts after 16 here.
Hotel Chocolat, bottle of wine for 18+.
I buy for great nephews and nieces now.
I like buying small DC gifts, not keen on requests for money so that's when I'll switch to token gifts for this generation.

AlpacaPicnic · 02/12/2018 21:22

We have a nephew who is now over 18 and his little sister is just 4. If we keep giving him Christmas money until she's 18, he'll be 32. It just seems daft to give a grown adult with a job a tenner In a card so there should be a cut off point somewhere.

Plus this will make me sound like a dick we have 6 nieces and nephews to give to but no DC's of our own (and it's increasingly unlikely to happen now). Plus we still have to give to their parents (DHs brothers and their gfs) because the one year I suggested we only give to the kids there were tears and angry texts flying back and forth and I was miss unpopular. I'm girding my loins to raise it again in the new year.

AvoidingDM · 02/12/2018 21:25

My generation were stopped at 18. Made lots of sense.
On DHs side it is a long way off but I envisage a mutual decision to stop at 18 as kids are close.
My side my kids being quite young my siblings kids being teens makes it difficult. I'm currently thinking 21 might be a better age to at least cut back, especially once they are out of education and into f/t work.

AuntGertrude · 02/12/2018 21:48

Generally, yes, stop at 18. But my brother and s-in-law have no family at all other than us and our kids, so they still buy for them even though they're all in mid-20s now.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 02/12/2018 21:52

Generally yes,most only get a token gift as I have a screwed up family and we don't really know or see each other. However, one niece I will always buy for. She's 21 now and I only see her a couple of times a year but I raised her for a few years, talk to her all the time and treat her as my own!

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