Find out or have a surprise?

[Bunnymumma]

DH and I have been planning to find out the sex of our bub all along, but have both suddenly thought that maybe a surprise would be nice. Our nursery is going to be all white and green, so no 'gendered colour' issues to worry about at all.

What did you all do? We kind of think that it won't change anything by knowing, so shall we just keep it quiet on Monday or find out? x

I found out with DC1 because I was suffering quite badly from ante-natal depression and it helped with bonding.

I found out with DC2 because I wanted to deal with any negativity if it was a 2nd DS before he was born. He was a 2nd DS and I did get lots of negative and unpleasant comments and I’m glad I dealt with them before my gorgeous boy arrived .

I would find out if it was me but ezch mother does things there own way. So go with how you feel on Monday. One of my friends kept her fist baby a suprise and now doing it with her second.

So interesting to get all of your points of view!

@AnneLovesGilbert I'm more closely monitored too, which can take the shine off a touch, so I completely understand that finding out on the day would be rather nice.

DH is happy either way, so we are going to go to our scan and see how we feel in the moment.

Thanks everyone!

Hope your scan goes really well OP and the rest of your pregnancy is smooth, healthy and as boring as possible!

When are you due? Regular scans are great in many ways but when there’s a reason for the monitoring it’s also pretty stressful. I really started to relax after the 20 week scan and it’s amazing when you start to feel movements and it’s a daily reminder all is well in there. At the scan they asked if we wanted to know, we said no thanks, no more mention of it. Enjoy!

Both my dds were surprises. I was so convinced dd1 was going to be a boy I asked the midwife if she was sure it was a girl. She was.

I vote surprise.

I didn't find out and it was the best surprise! I was convinced it was a boy and turned out to be a girl. I'd have either been able to say 'I knew it all along' and been chuffed or the actual oh my I can't believe it's a girl!

When I was pregnant with DS over 20 years ago it wasn't standard practice to reveal the sex of a baby so it never occurred to me to ask.

I had no problem boding with my unborn baby despite not 100% knowing the sex (I did have a strong feeling that it was a boy though). As it turned out we were all more stunned that he was 11lbs rather than that he was a boy

We waited until both of ours were born. One of the best memories of my life is dh saying it's a boy when our second was born. The midwife announced it with our first. Still a lovely surprise after labour though.

It's not that much of a suprise though - I mean it's a human and can only be male or female

I wish I hadn't known personally as I experienced gender disappointment and actually when I met the baby I couldn't have given a shit, my baby was everything I ever wanted and more so it was a crappy few months for absolutely nothing

But it's just not a suprise!

We kept it a surprise for both of mine and wouldn’t have it any other way. I loved finding out after the hard work of labour and looking down at my baby for the first time.

Sorry, random aside but @AnneLovesGilbert congratulations on your pregnancy! I remember you from the TTC thread and it’s lovely to see that you are so far along. Mine is 6 months old now and I can’t believe it. Keeping my fingers crossed for you for the rest of your pregnancy.

I pro surprise. Then i had the shittest 20 weeks of my life with hyperemisis. Decided that i 'earned the right' to know who was putting me through this lol.

Next one ill prob keep a surprise. Names we have chosen are all gender neutral too.

I had two surprises.
Best moments ever.

We did get the sonographer to write it down fir DC1, but apart from a moment on Christmas day, I wasn't really tempted to look.
It was also quite fun getting everyone's predictions.

I didn’t find out because i can’t see any difference between “preparing” for a boy or girl.

Unless you like to colour code your baby i didn’t buy anything different than i would have if i’d have known the sex.

Plus i did find gender stereotyping starts before birth and it would have driven me mad.

@Athena51 Woah! Now that would be a very big surprise! We're on track for at least 9lb!

@AnneLovesGilbert We are in on Monday!

I've had a clothing issue in the past, so I'm being watched a little more closely to make sure everything runs smoothly and so far, all good, apart from some utterly atrocious cystitis!

@Bunnymumma It was a bit of a shock, no wonder he was such hard work to give birth to. The midwife's first words were 'Oh my God, what a whopper!'

Fortunately he was a long baby rather than a wide one, he's 6ft 3in now!

@Athena51 Thank goodness for height over width! You're a warrior!

I have done both ways. One "surprise" and one where we had the surprise at the scan. I 100% found it way more fun and exciting to find out the sex at the 20 week scan (which we did with dc1). Honestly it was great and much much more special than finding out at the birth. It was a surprise and it was exciting. Then we had the birth which was also a surprise and exciting but honestly after the delivery I didn't care what the baby's sex was, I was just happy to have my baby and for it to be over. I found waiting and then finding out at birth kind of an anti climax and much less exciting and powerful than the experience of finding out at the scan. When we found out at birth it was like, yes ok it's a girl, whatever, but HOLY F*CK IT'S A BABY and I'm exhausted!

@TheRedRoom Hahaha!

I found out with my first as I wanted to make clothes for them. When I have my second I’ll still make their clothes but I want it to be a surprise 😀

I had growth scans through both pregnancies and csections booked in for both - so because we already knew what their dates of birth would be and roughly how big they were, we wanted to keep something as a surprise. I guessed wrong both times though 😂

I think it's nice to have a surprise

@imonlyherefortheAIBU Your username is genius!

Surprise. I think finding out takes all the anticipation away. I mean don't me wrong my sister found out with both of hers (boys), and for me as an aunt it was no less exciting, of course it isn't.
However else something to consider is. They can get it wrong.
A women I worked with. Her daughter had 3 boys and was told her fourth one was a boy. She wasn't disappointed but did hope for a girl, understandable after 3 boys I suppose. However she actually gave birth to a baby girl. As you can imagine she was absolutely over moon and kept saying to the Midwife. "You're lying to me" .
So that's a nice story about them getting it wrong.

"Else something" .
WTF am I on.
Something else, I meant obvs.