You know you're tired when...

[lucysmam]

The cheese goes on the pile of pots to be washed up, and the grater goes on the cheese shelf in the fridge

You start washing your face in the shower realising you are using Vagisil to do it 😳

When you’re looking for the peg basket .. and find it a month later at the bottom of the freezer!

Trying to use my Tesco club card in a cashpoint machine.
Trying to 'tap in' on the bus using my gas card.
Throwing my bus pass in the street litter bin instead of the rubbish I had in the other hand.

Oh forgot one. Picked up the TV remote control and put it in my handbag,thinking it was my mobile phone. This was about 15 years ago when phones were much chunkier and less streamlined than they are now. There's no chance that I'd mistake the remote control for the smartphone that I have now!

You've set the timer on the oven and left the room. When the timer goes off, you walk into the kitchen, switch on the light and wonder why the oven is still beeping.

You try to put a thermos lid onto a baby's bottle.

When you touch you neighbour’s car with yours when trying to reverse park and for some reason you decide that instead of going forward and starting again, you decide to just ‘squeeze past’. The noise is horrible, so you go forward and have a look - you’ve removed most of their bumper, eek!
They were so very nice about it.

Used my Oyster card to try and open the front door

You book tickets for the ballet but forget to book child tickets and pay full adult price for all of them.

I woke up Friday morning at 6 and had a day and exam at uni. I then did a night shift and had a disruptive 3 hours sleep afterwards.

I am dropping things, getting arsey when anyone talks to me, feeling a bit dizzy, irritable, I itch all over (I always do when tired) and I am talking a lot of shit.

I could go to bed but that requires movement and I want to watch Casualty

DH once tried to microwave a can of pepsi max instead of a baby bottle and he put some dirty dishes on the children's bed thinking he was washing up. After that I decided I would do the night feeds because I only had to get up anyway to make sure he was safe. He's on very heavy medication so not his fault.

GetRid I sieved a cuppa soup to get rid of the bits when I was pg with dd1...soup straight down the plughole, bits saved. I cried

These are hilarious! I'm 31 weeks pregnant and I'm pretty sure I'm going to give birth any second now.
Our son has been ill with a cough that woke him up at night so my husband and I were pretty tired. One morning we woke he started making coffees as usual and I wanted some juice, so I put and empty glass in the fridge and walked away (as you do) and he tried to make coffee by putting the pod in his cup and then putting it under the machine and waited and wondered why nothing was happening...

Pouring coffee granules into bottle for baby formula.. Sure that's a common one!

Standing in small supermarket, hungry and no food at home, but too overwhelmed by having to make a choice so stare at food then walk out.

I pushed a supermarket trolley halfway home before realising a) it wasn't a pram and b) I'd have to push it all the way back conscious of how stupid I looked.

I also get that weird jet lag feeling of the floor slipping away under your feet and have to grab hold of something...

have only had two hours sleep in three days and not being able to figure out how to do the baby grow up, have done it up four times and there's still two buttons that don't match. putting tea bag, sugar and milk in bowl and can't understand why it doesn't look right as I pour the kettle.

Putting both contact lenses in the same eye.

Driving home from work on autopilot and having no memory of the journey.

I don't have kids, but I do have fibromyalgia, and so I'm permanently very tired with brain fog (my friends with kids have said it sounds like I permanently have a baby and sleepless nights), and so many of these sound very, very familiar!

I remember turning out onto a main road on a T-junction after a midnight finish at work, the road was unlit, and I panicked that I couldn't see anything, therefore how did I know if there was a car coming. Took too long to figure out that the lack of lights = lack of car.

I'm very good at forgetting words, and making things up. Oven became hot cooking box, and at work stapler became paper stabby thing, with relevant hand movements.

Reading all these, they are as hilarious, as they are sad, as they are recognisable.

for all my kindred spirits in sleep deprivation.

You almost suffocate your child with your boob whilst feeding her!

Leaving my car not only unlocked on my drive, but bank doors wide open and key In the ignition.
My lovely neighbour opposite locked my car up for me.

Driving late at night after night shift and having to stop as I could not see the road (headlights off), not being able to work out why I couldn't see the road. Drove back to work panicking before I realised I needed to switch on my headlights.

Odd shoes on me and toddler.

The rest is a blur.

Go to fish something out of the food blender. With bare hands. While blender still on. Blades missed my fingers by a gnat's cock.

After driving all night to ensure we got the ferry home from France due to the fuel protest blockades last week DH left car doors wide open with all our almost all our stuff still in the car, locked up house and went to bed. Pouring with rain. Neighbour knocked to tell us. What a star!

I couldn’t fasten by bra up the other day. Couldn’t work out why it was so tight. I already had one on under it

Nice colleague quietly pointed out I had put my top on inside out —two days running— I started to take it off in the middle of the busy office before I caught sight of her face and realised where I was.

Pointing my car keys at my house door and pressing while my car locked and unlocked behind me but bewildered as to why I couldn't get into the house.

I stood at a cash deposit machine today wondering why it wasn't accepting me choosing the options. It wasn't a touch screen, you pressed buttons beside the screen. I'd stood a while tapping the screen...