You’re job in a nutshell....

[MaidenMotherCrone]

Forget the job titles what is it you actually do?

I sit on my bottom for 10hrs looking very closely at things whilst listening to talking books and drinking tea 😁

Talk to myself in a dark padded room whilst someone records me.

Chat to people all day long, sometimes a bit of a distracted natter, sometimes an attempt to stop people trying to vernally murder me, usually for something that isn’t my fault.

I run the place where people go to say goodbye to loved ones.

Persuading people who are paid 10 times more than me that I know what they do and that the grass world be greener elsewhere.

(Executive search, C-suite/Board/Non-Exec level)

BarbaraofSevillle - there possibly isn't a word missing. There could be aspects of computer game design/development, film, military roles or even author (depending on book genre) where sitting around working out how to kill people on a screen is exactly what they're doing.

@LadyFlumpalot I only did it once (honest, guv) and I hadn't previously received training on whiteboard vs smartboards .

I have colleagues, though, who have allegedly sinned multiple times, despite receiving remedial training

I placate and suck to middle class parents, I am also expected to have immediate expert knowledge in the tiniest detail in every area of the place I work in even though it's vast.

Support people to make important decisions about their future. Endlessly explain to the rest of the organisation why thinking about the future won't undermine the organisation. Oh and emails, lots of emails.

Spend most of the time hand holding advertisers, resizing photos and panicking about my lack of wardrobe/fashion sense.

(I'm a fashion editor)

I sit in front of a computer and write every word as if it was to be read in front of a judge one day. I order around people who are paid twice as much as I am and they have to be nice to me anyway.
I am (almost) the first one to see what the rest of the world will see in about 18 months.

I put the frighteners on people who are bad at their job until they fix their fuck ups or (very rarely) I put them out of business/in prison.

I assess patients with complex health needs and write realms about it ,then tell most of them they're not entitled to full NHS funding , whilst also ensuring the people who care for them are doing a decent job.

Hold a businessman's hand and wipe his bottom (metaphorically speaking)

I clear up sick and wipe bums. Also get to cuddle cute babies abs give out morphine and ketamine like sweeties.

I sit at a desk reading and writing emails, attend meetings, get told to do things, ask people to do things for me, review other people's work and give my opinion on it, ask people for money, write emails explaining why people might want to give our company money to do things for them, chase said emails, stare at ceiling and pray for salvation..... used to love my job but it has recently become somewhat dull and unfulfilling! 27w pg so not in a position 2b looking for something new so am having to grin and bear it atm....

I work with offenders including life sentenced prisoners and write reports and attend hearings to recommend whether they should be released from custody

I scan beans and tampons, look out for shoplifters, look out for queues, settle complaints, explain why ee have to scam so fast, give people a pound for the trolley and swear under my breath all the time

Wash and dress people, give meds, give food, write up what I've done.

Talk to interesting people about why they are stressed or depressed. Try to persuade them to do something differently. Then write notes about it. And write a letter to their GP.

I tell Police Officers where to go!!