Is it true that if you onlyy have boys, you will be less close to your grandchildren than mothers of girls?

[Greensleeves]

I've seen this mentioned on the other thread about mums of boys (so technically a TAAT I suppose, but more of a tangential question really)

Is it true? Can mothers of boys really expect to be lesser grandparents than mothers of girls? It's the first time I've ever really given it any thought

From personal experience I think so yes :(

Not in my case, my DC's don't know my mum. My MIL only has boys and we are close.

Yup

Not in my case. Not at all.

Disclaimer: The plural of anecdote isn't data.

My dad's mum had two boys. My mum's mum had two girls. I was probably closer to my dad's mum. But it was purely down to geography. My dad's mum was mum was down the road. My dad's was 150 miles away.

My husband mum is probably closer to my kids than my mum. But, again, entirely down to geography

I was always closer to my paternal grandmother- we just clicked

My MIL sees my son at least once a week, often more. They live locally and help out with childcare by choice.

My mother sees my son every two or three months, they live two hours away, work and are I think less interested in toddlers.

I think it depends on circumstances. My in laws moved 20 minutes away from us and do have been more involved.

The relationship the girl has with her mum is key to this answer.

Broadly speaking, this is probably true.

In general it is probably true but it doesn't have to be!! IME women seem to give more of a shit about their parents than their brothers- not always the case possibly.

My grandma (dad's mum) only had boys and I'm really close to her she's like my second mum. I have a little boy and both grandparents seem the same to me.

Think it's more to do with how much you see them ect than if it's your Son or Daughters children

My MIL is fantastic. Truly a wonderful woman. She lives fairly nearby and both my DS have a great relationship with her. My mum is not so close by and a little more 'difficult' so her relationship with them, whilst good is not as close as it is with MIL.

Her daughter also has a child. She is equally as close to them despite living a little further away.

So definitely not always true. I think physical distance plays a bit part though. It's nice that she is nearby and so can have the boys to play or can babysit and see them regularly without it being a huge weekend affair or an imposition. It means she is a regular part of their regular life and doesn't just appear occasionally and shower them with presents and junk food.

My MIL is my “go-to” grandparent. She couldn’t be closer to my DC. We get along really well and I hope I can be like her when my two DSs have kids.

I start by saying I have two boys, and I read this question a lot on mumsnet, almost daily and it used to worry me but actuallly I really think that it doesn’t matter what type of relationship your dil’s Mum has with any potential grandchildren, what’s matters is the quality of your relationship with the grandchildren.
My mum has a good relationship with my 2, my mil not so, but she is more than welcome too, she can come and visit, she can call, she can Skype or she can moan that no one comes and visits her.

I know that it’s potentially an easier relationship with a daughter and their mum will have a closer relationship with the grandchildren, but that doesn’t mean that your relationship with them is not valued or of any quality and not important

I love my MIL and so do my children.

PickleSarnie, you get insights from anecdotes that are very difficult to extrapolate from pure data though [grin

It's interesting that the responses so far are so split. I suppose a lot comes down to the MIL/DIL relationship, which is partly pot luck.

Not in my case. MIL has only boys and is incredibly close and involved in all her grandchildren's lives.

We are closer to my dh parents than my mum as are my children.

My DC probably sees my MIL more but it's convenient for her to help with school pick ups. He has a great relationship with both. I have an amazing relationship with my mum but I'm also very fond of my MIL. We spend all Christmases with the in-laws. It's mostly very equal though. I'm very laid back, so is OH, my mum and my MIL.

My DC used to see PIL much more than my parents until other grandchildren came along now it's probably an even split.

Well, my mum's mum died before I was born but my dad's mum was alive and lived within walking distance, so I had the better relationship with her.

My mil had 5 boys and has her grandkids to stay regularly and does a lot with them so I guess it comes down to a multitude of factors.

Not in our family. My brothers MIL has always lived in the same town as him & his family but his children are much much closer to my Mum

It's very circumstantial and there is a lot you can do to help (assuming you are mob).

I don't have my parents anymore but MIL is a MoB and is amazing. Sadly the relationship I have with her is tainted by FIL who likes to believe women should be seen and not heard, and that in general women should just man up and get on with life (except MIL because it's his role to do that for her).

Conclusion is, don't ever make assumptions on the future, tell you children how much they mean to you as often as you can. Be inclusive with their partners and make them feel welcome, be there even when they don't need you so that when they do they can come.

My MIL was my kids’ only grandma & the only grandparent nearby. She was an absolute treasure & they all loved her to bits.

SIL lives some distance away so her DC didn’t see nearly as much of her.

I don’t think you can generalise - there’s a lot more to it than just “son’s children”

I think generally speaking yes.
Depends on things like geography etc tho.
Also- the DIL- my mum has 3 brothers who have all married women who wanted to distance themselves from their OH's family and have succeeded. Tho I blame this on the men just the same. All 3 are a waste of space and my mum and sister (and therefore us as their children) have much better relationships with my grandparents than my cousins from uncles.