At what point would you worry about a grown adult not being home/somewhere when they say they’d be there?

[DonaldDucksTowel]

DP is nearly an hour and a half late home from work now
I haven’t spoken to him since around 11am but he last looked at WhatsApp at 3pm
His phone is now off

I’m getting worried but don’t know if I’m being a bit OTT, he is a grown man after all and I do have a tendency to overthink
At what kind of time would you start to really worry?

Maybe ran out of battery and is in traffic/stuck on a broken down train? Can you check his route home to see if there are disruptions? I would try not to panic for the next few hours at least, there's lots of potential reasons for the delay.

I worry straight away, because I get really anxious about something happening to my family. I’m probably the wrong person to ask, because of that!

If he’s driving, he can’t use his phone.

Might he stop somewhere on the way home? Shopping? Picking up something for xmas? Getting dinner? Seeing family? Going for a pint? Finishing something at work?

If he never does any of that kind of stuff I'd worry too tbh. But still, it could be traffic or something.

He isn’t driving, he gets the tram so I will see if I can find where to check for disruptions that’s a good idea I hadn’t even thought of thank you

Is he driving? If so you could put the traffic option on google maps to see if there's any bad traffic/ tailbacks?

Sorry, cross post.

ISmell he always comes straight home, if he had any errands to run he’s get the car first but generally would do all of those things when he isn’t working or later on when the kids are in bed
I generally have dinner ready for when he gets home and then we’re straight on to getting all the kids sorted for bed so he wouldn’t go shopping or anything like that

In this day and age with everyone having a mobile I would probably worry about now, in a kind of ‘I know it’s probably fine but I wish I just knew’ kind of way. DH has a slightly irritating habit of telling me he’s going to be home late at the point he’s leaving (late) rather than the point he would usually leave, so I’ve got used to that now.

I would worry but I am overly anxious

Can you do find my friends to see where he last was ?

If that were me, I'd assume he's in the pub having after work drinks/stuck in traffic/delayed train and is out of battery.

I would worry and probably check if there are any transport issues. Then I'd probably have a right go at DH when he rolled in for having his phone off or running out of battery.

I'd be really concerned but we message all day and then we maps each other on the way home do we know what time the other will be arriving.

My DH does this all the time, pops in to see people on the way home, invariably his battery is flat so he doesn't think to ring. He tells me not to worry. I have a degree in worrying....
Hopefully your DH has just got stuck in delays with a flat phone, and he's home soon

Hoping all is okay

I'd be worrying.. but I always do usually for no reason

Hope all is ok OP. Any possibility he could have gone out with workmates for an after work drink ? Does he have a gps enabled feature on his phone that you can log into online and track his whereabouts?

With my DH I would worry a bit but I wouldn't be concerned for his welfare until very very late. I would just think he's a grown man and can look after himself then give him a bollocking when he got home for not letting me know where he was.

Thankyou all

I don’t have any trackers or anything like that (I’m a bit of a technophobe )

It’s just so unlike him to go anywhere after work, especially without a phone call or anything
I had thought earlier that I hadn’t spoken to him much today, he usually rings me on his lunch then we’ll have a text conversation mid afternoon when he’ll ask about how the kids were at school, what’s for dinner, do I need anything picking up on his way home etc - I’ve had none of that today
At first I just thought he must be really busy, now my mind is jumping to all kinds of crazy stuff

Hope you're ok OP

Thankyou Food

I think I’m going to give it another half an hour then I’ll possibly start ringing his friends? Is that too much?

Given your DH’s usual habits, I’d be worried now. Probably for no good reason, so after hugging the life out of him, he’d get a right bollocking.

I would still be thinking traffic/ train issues for quite a bit longer and his phone could be affected by some sort of problem or ran out of charge.

Don’t ring his friends.

Either it’s serious and you’ll be the first to know, or it’s twattery and you can bollick him. No point ringing his friends, it won’t help and it’ll embarrass the fuck out of him.

Is there any other way he could contact you if his battery is dead & he doesn’t know your mobile number? (Social media, home line etc from a friends phone).

I’d check any of those options then wait until 9. Then I’d ring the hospitals and police.

Are the kids in bed yet? If not, try to focus on that and reading to them etc. Lunches, dishes, washing, whatever...just try to keep busy.