At what point would you worry about a grown adult not being home/somewhere when they say they’d be there?

[DonaldDucksTowel]

DP is nearly an hour and a half late home from work now
I haven’t spoken to him since around 11am but he last looked at WhatsApp at 3pm
His phone is now off

I’m getting worried but don’t know if I’m being a bit OTT, he is a grown man after all and I do have a tendency to overthink
At what kind of time would you start to really worry?

He does know my mobile number, he’s always giving it out because he remembers mine but not his own and is always making little digs because I don’t know his by heart

Ok I won’t ring his friends, don’t want to embarrass him or myself

How late is he now? 2.5 hours? That's not huge really, even if it feels it, and you don't know that he hasn't been pulled into a meeting that's overrun or had to stay to finish something.

Honestly I'd be going out of my mind worried; but I would try to distract myself, get everything sorted and give him a few hours to appear. If he was at work all day; it's not really likely that his friends will know where he is unless they're colleagues.

Chances are he's absolutely fine; although I appreciate that won't help until you know he is!

I’m just sat with the toddler waiting for him to fall asleep, then yes I’ll just crack on and try to stop looking out the window every 2 mins

If it turns out his battery has run out, maybe consider buying him a power pack for Christmas ha. Public transport can be unreliable sometimes, so I'm sure it's just a number of unfortunate events, i.e a delay + phone battery running out, that has caused him to be late. At least with a power pack, he'd be able to let you know.
Does he travel with anyone else that you know?

I'd be worried but I'm an over thinker lol I'm sure the tram is just delayed or such things x

hope he’s home shortly 💐

I’d be worried by now, yes.

Did you check for travel disruptions?

My STBXH went missing just under a year ago. If it's out of character you are not unreasonable to worry. I waited 3 hours, checked travel news etc and then rang the non emergency police number. In our case I got my answer from them (not going into detail here) but usually there will be nothing to tell I guess and it's a waiting game. Hope you're ok, it's horrible waiting.

If it’s out of character and there have been no travel disruptions to the tram over the past few hours then no harm in texting a friend, though I’m not sure they would be with him. Isn’t it more likely that he got delayed at work or on transport?

Hi OP do you have the phone number of where he works or any work colleagues? You could at least find out when he left and if there were any after work plans?

Sending best wishes

I would be worrying as I’m anxious and actually if there aren’t any travel issues, and it’s totally out of character I would drop his friends a text. You can keep it light in tone. My DH wouldn’t have an issue with me doing that and his friends might think it’s OTT but it might put your mind at rest and actually it shows then you care. Hope you’re okay.

My DP once went to get us fish and chips from round the corner. Literally a 5 minute walk away. He was gone for an hour and a half. Turned out he’d bumped into an old friend and got chatting. I was worried sick and so cross at him but now see the funny side. Especially as we lived in a bit of a rough area and I was starving!

I'd be worried, but you're doing the right thing keeping busy. Hopefully he's home soon and was just delayed by workload/travel. Do you know any of his colleagues who you could text to check if he left at the normal time?

as it's unusual I would worry.

maybe check his calendar (drinks with friends?) and how public transport is doing (cancelled trains?)

I would send him another text message and try to call him and give non emergency police a call if you haven't heard from him after 2 more hours

Hope he's home soon

I would be very worried and wouldn't have hesitated to call his friends

can you call work?
when my ex didn't return from work one night it turned out he was locked in the office and couldn't get out.

To be honest if its out of character I would be worried now

Probably just a delay and phone out of juice. My dp is always late so i dont tend to worry too much as he is self employed so doesnt jeep regular hours.

Would there be anyone at work still who you could call?

I agree with PP, don't contact his friends. It is odd that he didn't contact you during the day either if that is what he usually does?

I would probably call local police/hospitals just to check....

I’ve called the number he rings me off at work and it just says the office is closed and asks to call back between 8am & 6pm - so has been closed for a few hours

I don’t have any colleagues numbers and I’m not on social media so couldn’t even attempt to find any of them

I’m worried now

Ohh no OP! We're all here to support you, I bet you're very worried but there might be a perfectly good explanation when he comes home.
I know it's probably not particularly helpful but if anything serious had happened you probably would have heard something by now. Hand hold 💐

I think I’d probably give 101 a call if I were you OP. I know others will say he’s probably in the pub, and hopefully he is, but if it’s out of character and you’re worried then call.

How far away is his work from home?

Is there anything you may have forgotten about? Meeting dragged on (and explaining phone off)? After work function?

Might be worth checking in with his parents/siblings etc to see if anyone has heard from him?