Dh feeling pushed out as both my dc in bed with me.

[CocoDeMoll]

I think he’s over romantisizng the idea of two little cherubs snuggled up to me whereas the reality is I’m just getting back to sleep (must put the bastard phone down), I’m lying on a towel after the baby puked feeling the baby sick soaking in, halfway off the bed knowing the the 5yr old will be awake soon and probably wake up the 7m old. What exactly is he missing out on?!

He's missing out on sleeping with his wife. He wants the kids in their own beds.

He needs to get a grip. Sick children who want their mum, their needs come before a grown adult.

Aaahhhhh it's lovely snuggling up with your children - perhaps but a bigger bed which is my plan when we get our extension built lol

My husband gets a bit grumpy too as it's always me they want

Get bigger beds. I got a double bed for each of my children as soon as they were in beds. That way I could get in with them if they needed company, rather than have everyone squashed into the big bed.

I’m always jealous of DH in the spare room when I’m having to share with DD who can’t stay still for more than ten seconds.

Well, is this every night they’re in with you, or a one-off?

He misses you! What’s wrong with that? He’s allowed to miss you.

Maybe he could have both the children and leave you to be lonely then.

Not everybody likes kids being a permanent feature in the marital bed. I didn’t.

This would top me over. I hated sharing with my kids.

If it's a one off because they're sick, then YANBU, you gotta do what you gotta do (and sympathies, hope they're better soon).

If it's long term - I wouldn't be impressed if DH wanted to bed share with DD, meaning I could either fight for space or leave my bed (my bed!) for the spare room.

I think with a small ebf baby, the mother gets to choose. But with older children both parents are equal.

If it's every night then I think it's natural for him to feel a bit pushed out. Have you asked him what it is he's annoyed about? Is it missing out on time with you? Not waking up together? Not feeling as close to DCs? Not agreeing with co-sleeping? It sounds like there would be something at the route of his feelings for you two to talk about.

I think your thread title "MY Dc's" is actually very telling and there is probably more to this than stated here. As a one off due to ill children then fair enough, but to want to sleep in his own bed with his wife is fair enough. He is probably feeling excluded from the family which at night time he very much is and I can understand why he is unhappy. As an aside they are his children (I am assuming) too.

He’s allowed to feel shit about this, adult or not. Acknowledge this, talk to him kindly about it and discuss that it’s not permanent. Only co-sleep when necessary, not permanently.

Of course children’s needs are important but both parents do too, we don’t stop ‘needing’ once we turn 18, we just gradually become more self-sufficient. Talk it through.

I hated sharing my bed with my children so I didn't unless they were ill. Your dh probably misses you, his bed and possibly feels like a spare part in his own home. Tbh I'd feel the same.

He's got a point.
When should co-sleeping stop?

Kids should be in their own bed. For comfort, or if they are ill, is fine, as a one off. But not regularly:permanently.
They need independence to be encouraged.

And what about sleeping with your husband? Do you not miss that? Because he clearly misses you.

Is it just a one off though

Do you usually share with both children?

Kids should be in their own bed. For comfort, or if they are ill, is fine, as a one off. But not regularly:permanently.
They need independence to be encouraged.*

At 7 months?! Why?

It's a difficult one OP and I feel for you. Is it about the actual bed-for-sleeping situation? When I'm asleep it's irrelevant who's there. If it's more about the sex and intimacy, there are other locations.

The little one is ebf so lives in the big bed and has done from birth. His big sister is just going through a phase where she wants to sleep next to me. I did ‘kick him out’ to the spare room to begin with planned for the first three months as he’s a smoker but seeing as my nights are crazy at the moment I don’t see how adding an extra body in bed is going to help. I’d love to have a bed all to myself!!

Sex and intimacy happen in the day when ones at school and ones downstairs

Good for you OP!

Hmm, the guidance I've seen suggests a smoker isn't a great idea in bed with DC. Is he going to support 5 yo through the night with her anxieties / loneliness? We are trying to get our nearly 5 yo to sleep in her own bed. It's going to be a gentle process. One of us currently sleeps in her room but on a seperate bed from about 5am.

I am shocked at the number of people who seems to think that an adult can’t poaaibly be expected to sleep by himself but a tiny baby should be.

We coslept until 20 months. Alternating between which adult coslept and who got the most coveted spared bed. Obviously at that age we did not go to bed at the same time as the toddler so we had plenty of adult time together.

What has he said to let you know he feels pushed out ?

I am shocked at the number of people who seems to think that an adult can’t possibly be expected to sleep by himself but a tiny baby should be

This