Name calling and 11 year old girls

[Doobydoobydooyeh]

My lovely daughter was upset tonight because a girl who has been mean to her at times today called her the ugliest girl in the world :( she then also called her the most beautiful girl in the world leaving my daughter very confused. She said to me at bedtime that when people say mean things to you it hurts your insides :( bless her.

We had a chat and I asked her what were the qualities she valued in her friends and what did she think they liked about her and she said kindness, funny, having fun together, etc so I said none of those are about looks are they. And talked about how being strong is important because she does martial arts and we always reinforce how this makes you strong and healthy and strong I'm sure.

Just how do u stop them getting hung up on their looks at this age and worrying about weight etc? And is what i said ok?

Bump

Anyone?

I haven’t really any advice as I don’t remember this when I was a kid and my own children are both boys and not old enough.

It’s a tough one. I guess looks is only one aspect of anyone and the easiest thing to pick on, it doesn’t actually mean anything. People that say mean things are not worth the head space but I don’t know how to get that across in an age appropriate way to your daughter!

It’s horrible though isn’t it? None of my boys have any sense of their own attractiveness and at nearly 10 and 7 I expect it to be a while before they do. Whereas for girls it’s so different.

Thank you. :)