How many children do you have/plan on having?

[Tadda]

I'm currently expecting No 4 - and just noticing that seems about the norm now?

Had a conversation the other day about 'used to be everyone wanted two, a boy and a girl'...how many is now classed as 'too many'??

I wouldn’t consider 4 to be ‘a load of children’

The rougher families that have ‘a load of children’ that I can think of have around 7 or so each

Quick question to those who do have more than 1. How do you afford baby number 2? Is it a case of high earnings or grandparents helping with day care? Hope it isnt rude to ask!

We have a household income of 37k post tax etc and are worried about finances being tight with baby#2 on the way, we have done the math, we can afford it just no luxuries. We will be doing some serious extras to pull in extra money before we consider baby#3. I suppose tbf we do still have £100 spare money each month (which we often try and save or use to take DS out and about or to buy him new clothes) and a high mortgage of £1100pcm on our 1st home.

@ComtesseDeSpair well yes, but 'none' is still an answer to 'How many children do you have/plan on having?'

I know - it was my answer 🙂 WRT the poster who said that larger families must be uncommon because the national average is 1.9 children, I was simply speculating that it’s theoretically possible for women having 4 or more children to be more common than that suggests due to greater numbers of child-free women spreading the average out.

I have 5. Planned 3. Number 4 wasn't planned but made me massively broody for another. I'm just as content now with 5 as I was with 3. Dh loves it too, he's one of 2/4(2 step siblings with them about 75%) & lots of cousins who he spent a lot of time with growing up. I'm an only child & always wanted 3. There's one bigger family than ours at school. 2 more with 5, about half a dozen with/expecting number 4 & probably an even mix of 1,2,3. Fairly middle class village. We're neither wealthy nor struggling, all bills are paid each month & we have reasonable savings.

One and not planning anymore.

I have 2. In DC1s class most children are part of 2 or 3 children families. Less than 2 or more than 3 is unusual there.

I’ve thought a lot about a third but realistically it wouldn’t work practically and financially

I’m expecting #4. There’s a big age gap between the elder two and youngest though (15, 14, and 1.5)

I’m currently on a career break, studying again and it works out that my studies will finish just as the new baby is 3 and ready for nursery, so will miss out on having to pay the expensive childcare years. Older two will be at university by that time too. If they didn’t have trusts from grandparents to pay for it then our decision may have been different, but Everything just fell into place at the right time, and due to my age it was now or never.
Can’t wait to be a family of 6!

I have 5, from 4 pregnancies.

We aren't wealthy or struggling.

I think it’s often only those who are very wealthy or who are struggling seem to have a load of children

We're not 'very wealthy' or 'struggling'. Just love our kids and it worked out this way.

6 dc at home. Some adulr dc also. Life is tough but wouldn't change it at all.
You reap what you sow, and my dc work /worked hard at school, dd went to uni, ds's have good jobs, don't think I have failed them in any way by having lots. They aren't deprived of love /money /opportunities.
I have sent adult dc of great value out into society.

as I understand it, more people are choosing to be childfree, and more people (at the upper and lower end of social/financial demographics) are choosing (or not!) to have greater numbers of children.

When I was growing up in the 70s 2 was the definite norm.

@TwittleBee I think it depends on so many factors. We have a lower household income than you but manage fine with 2. I work pt late evenings in a min wage job as it fits around DH full-time day job so no childcare bills or needing to rely on grandparents. Mortgage is only 500 a month as well (which is the norm round here). I’d imagine big childcare bills and a large mortgage are what makes it difficult for a lot of people.

4 here and the planning no more quite a range of size of family’s here but I agree with others that 4 isn’t unusual.
I have always felt puzzled when people ask about how you can afford more than one child, I think you can adjust and live to your means - but then I suppose a big part of the expense is childcare for some, luckily DH and I work opposite to each other so there’s always someone at home for the kids so we have never had to have childcare, also have the help of parents etc but would never ask them as a regular thing as although they love to have the dc wouldn’t want them to feel tied to arrangements as they are retired and have their own lives to live.

I have 2 with a large gap, we weren’t always going to go for a second. We won’t have more.
Of the families we know loads have 2, a few have 3 and a few have 1. 4+ is rare here.
I know lots of women who don’t have or aren’t planning to have any for lots of different reasons.

I’m pregnant as a surprise and before that I was convinced I would be childfree.

I’m 100% not having another. Pregnancy is horrendous

2 DCs pregnant with no3 everyone I know acts like three is "a lot" even those who have 3. Don't know anyone with 4 mostly 1 or 2 xx

I have only one child- I was in my 30's when I met DH and took a few years to conceive - decided not to try for another for a number of factors including age and finances. DH often says he would have liked another DC (specifically a DD - we have DS) but I've always been happy with the one - apart from a short time when DS was around 4 and I missed the pre-school days.

Most of my friends and colleagues have 2 or 3 plus I know a few couples / singles without DC.

I had friends growing up who came from larger families but none have chosen to gave more than 3 themselves.

I've just been through my dc's year 2 class and just over half the kids have 2 or more siblings. The average number of siblings is 1.5, and given these are 6 and 7 year olds there's still time for more too. The majority of the families are lower income working parents. I wonder if it's because housing is cheap here, so there's more room for all the kids?

thank you for replying @beefchowmein (your username is actually my craving atm for this pregnancy haha!) I think you are probably right, it is so many factors. Just feel like I am only one struggling in my social circles atm. I know our parents and elder generations did struggle too though. Looking back at my childhood, I knew we were poorer but it never affected my happiness or bond with my parents. Still have amazing memories from my childhood without the wealth I guess

We wanted 2 but nature did not comply so we have 1 and consider ourselves very very lucky that it is so

Mostly 2 or 3 round here, with approx equal nos of 1 or 4. I am pg with no 4. Middle class area in a big city.

But also, of my uni friends, there are a good few who are child free; by choice I imagine, as they have very successful fulfilling careers.

I would say 4 is more common nowadays. I didn't know anyone with 4 growing up, but now I know lots.

We have two and would like one more.
I feel torn really. I think, although DP would like three, that he would be happy with two. But I feel like we are meant to have another child. We had an MMC between our DC so I feel incredibly lucky to have two. I just feel like I am missing one.

One. No plans for more. Any more than 2 is socially and ecologically irresponsible.

I have 2. I’d probably have liked to have 3 but it hasn’t worked out that way (and that’s fine).

Four sounds like a big family to me. I have two, I thought one or two were the norm we are in an affluent area in London with lots of barristers and GPs and I very rarely see four. In fact I can only think of two families with four. Personally after two I felt I was done, somedays I'd love a third but I'm too old and the thought of it makes me feel a bit ill, but I did have PND. I have a boy and a girl they are close in age, just over a year apart, every night at bedtime we cuddle up, one on either side and I read a story, then give them a little cuddle. It's the most wonderful feeling in the world and I couldn't do that if I had more DC.