Do you think you have a hard life or an easy life?

[AlpineButterfly]

Just curious really. Do you think others would agree with you or disagree?

I enjoy my life. Others always say "I don't know how you cope." etc, but I think it's perfectly ok. Likewise, some friends who I think have an easy life, seem to struggle and those who I think have it tough sometimes cope amazingly. I get I don't know everything about people's lives, MH issues, SEN issues, etc

Not a judgy thread. Just, I guess, a philosophical discussion. I have down days and get really fed up sometimes but others life is really good.

I'll share my family set up later

Lots of dc here so self inflicted busy life!! Also work PT and have 4 ddogs.
Never a dull moment and would not change it.
Do occasionally make jokes how peaceful it will be in my care home though!!

Nah, I'm a nurse so have seen a lot of "easy" lives turned upside down.

Personally I think everyone gets some shit. Some get it closer together or some get it more spread out. But everyone's life has shittiness in it. They just may not tell other people about their shit and so look like they have an easy life from the outside.

But absolutely nobody escapes The Shit.

Very easy now

First 40 years not so much. Terrible first 23, really bad poverty. Difficult transition to adult hood. A fair few knocks over the next 17 years, was very unhappy for a lot of them.

I work hard, as does dh but we are comfortable financially, we are healthy, we have a nice house, friends and family. We are so lucky.

People's lives can be so complicated. Some swim, others drown. I've seen a lot of shit and I'd never, never say my life was hard no matter how long my commute or difficult my childcare juggling.

Love my life now! Easier now in my 30's with an amazing DP then it ever has been, even in childhood.
Not based on money or things, just happiness, support and love.
I count myself to be very lucky and grateful- I remember how hard and painful life was before now so I appreciate it a lot.

Easy, but I work hard for that easy life.

I think from the outside I have a very easy life.
On the inside I do struggle with day to day stuff. Lots and lots of anxiety that makes life feel harder than it should be.

I love my life and so far it's been easy. Some not so fun moments but compared to a lot of people, I know I've had it easy.

Have you ever heard the saying 'The same boiling water that softens the potato, hardens the egg. It's about what you're made of, not the circumstances'

It's like what ElspethFlashman said, everyone has shit in their lives - it's how you choose to face that shit. MH & SEN issues aside, I really do think it's about perspective and how you face things to an extent.

It's very hard and always has been

I have a good life now but I probably don’t appreciate it as much as I should

Terrible start in life, very hard. Had kids young, lone parent for most of their childhood. The only thing for me that made that hard was the times when I was really poor so had financial worries. Financial worries aside, everything else felt quite easy. I really enjoyed motherhood and doing everything alone didn't bother me too much.

The DC are grown up now and I did train for a profession in that time and got a well paying job so the financial concerns aren't there anymore. I tend to count my blessings that so far none of us have suffered any significant health concerns. The job did get very stressful though and my work/life balance was crap. So quite recently I switched to a lower paid (but zero stress) WFH role. So now I do feel my life is easy.

I have a very easy life. We have a home, food, reliable transport, water, electric and contraception. Washing machine and dishwasher and our jobs are 'nice'. We have difficulties in our easy life like a bit of insecurity around income as all those things aren't guaranteed - we've both lost jobs in the past and things like illness and mental health issues in the wider family and a child with SEN so fighting for their rights is hard work.

I have a very easy life. I have grown up children, a lovely husband who is kind and generous and who has always done his fair share of the household drudgery, a nice house and a good job. I have enough money to do whatever I want.

BUT my parents are aging, I've lost a couple of good friends to cancer and I have a disabled relative that I may need to care for one day.

I don’t think it’s that cut and dry to be honest. Everyone has been through bad times (everyone I know anyway).
In a lot of ways I’ve had an easy life. Enough money to eat, parents could provide holidays/extra curricular activities etc, I was/at bright and academic so had a fairly easy time of it at school, went to a good uni, married to a fantastic man, lovely healthy children etc.
However I’ve had my share of shit. DM suffered from depression throughout my childhood. She had an affair when I was a teen and left home to live with her partner, my brother died in his early 20’s in an accident, other family tragedies (over and above the ‘norm’), etc etc. It’s not a hard or an easy life, it’s just a life with all its trials and tribulations.

Very painful horrendously difficult life.

Was born disabled
Was abused from a very young age
Subsequently developed complex mental health problems.

Eventually I started to find some happiness. Had my lovely girls and then life fell apart. I lost my home, my sanity and eventually my children.

I am tired of having a difficult life. It's not as simple as making changes. It's going to take a lot of therapy to even begin to see the light.

I know how fortunate I am to have roof over head, relatively few money issues, so far most family and friends healthy, DC happy. But I have always struggled to see the good things and feel life is shit most days. Both FT working parents with two young DC - just seems like an almighty scrabble most of the time. Mostly I know I just have a terrible attitude problem!

Looking back on my life, much of it was hard. Death of a parent when I was 14 then all grandparents and a couple of other close family members within 3 years of that. What my surviving parent went through must have been harder though. I was bullied at comp and later as an adult in the workplace. I've had miscarriages and then complicated pregnancies, one of which now has a learning difficulty. An often less than satisfactory relationship with my DH over more than twenty years.

A friend of mine has sailed through life. I often feel some jealousy when she talks about how easy things have been (not stating they've been easy but just talking about experiences) but then I think to myself how much more independent a person I am and should something happen to DH I'm strong and independent enough to just get on with things (I hope), whereas she relies heavily on other people (won't drive anywhere outside of our little town for example).

Then again, my life has been easy compared to many others. It's all relative.

Easy peasy. Very very lucky.

Hard. I work 20 hours a week, have three kids and two have autism. Last night the middle one woke up at midnight and wouldn’t sleep and has to be supervised.

Easy now, but it's been a hard fight to get here. Childhood was abusive, physically, emotionally, and on a couple of occasions when I was very small sexually abusive too. I've had lifelong MH problems and was diagnosed with Autism as an adult.

However, with some amazing support and therapy I've learned to process the shitty start I had and moved forward. I've learned how to regulate my emotions and manage my stressors. I've got a home, food, clothes, amazing dc and some fantastic friends. Plus I love my job. I'm very fortunate.

To those saying 'it depends what you're made of' or 'it's how you choose to face the shit' are being a little unfair. Not everyone is taught how to regulate their emotions, or face up to problems or tolerate distress. Many people were given these skills as children through supportive role models. Not everyone had that.

Hard but I love it.

3DCs. At Uni full time doing a Science degree. Single parent. MH issues and SpLDs.

But I love every second of what I’m doing. I sacrificed a lot and worked myself into the ground to get here.

Other people seem to think it must be hard (single parent, work full time, DC’s dad sees them only in school holidays so have them 100% of the time in termtime) but it seems easy to me! I’m lucky to have a job I like although it’s demanding, and I’m pretty well paid (well, for real life, not for MN obviously!). I have my routines and am used to getting on with stuff. It’s fine!

In comparison to a lot of people I have an easy life in that I have a good relationship with dh, we have 2 happy, healthy and generally well-behaved children, our extended families are close by and not toxic, we have a nice housing association house with a garden in a not-too-bad area and we ourselves are at the moment in fairly good health.

We are in a lot of debt though and have no spare money and can't afford things like trips out, nice food, holidays, new clothes, heating our home to a comfortable level and due to the cuts in education my job as a supply teacher is now pretty much nonexistent, or at least it feels that way, so I'm probably going to have to give it all up altogether and do something else.

I have potential stresses in my life but most of the time I would say I have a good life. Certainly better than it was last year, and most definitely better than the year before.

Easy and lovely. Just me and DD to worry about. Live with my wonderful parents so have minimum housework to deal with. Have plenty of help and support with baby. Have recently moved back to my hometown (to have DD) and have reconnected with lots of friends but also have friends from where I was before. Have a career I can do anywhere.