How to get info out of a potential new boyfriend?

[LemonLimerance]

What would you write?

I have a guy that I have fooled around with a couple of times. I like him, but he does enjoy playing hard to get.

Our last meeting I had to cancel at short notice because I couldn't get childcare. I felt bad and arranged for him to come over on a weekend when my son would be abroad with his dad.

He expressed interest but hasn't actually confirmed if he's coming or not. I don't really like playing games but I need to know if he's coming! If he isn't, fine - I'm finding his attitude a bit of a turnoff, but I'm not going to just sit here waiting.

What can I say to give him a nudge? I don't want to sound aggressive but also don't want to sound pathetic.

"Hiya, just checking whether you're coming round on Sat? Don't want to waste a child free night so will make other plans if you're not free! Xx"

“I’ll be waiting alone” doesn’t strike me as playful. If a guy text me that I’d find it a bit creepy! The bugger with texts are tone is lost.

““I’ll be waiting alone” doesn’t strike me as playful. If a guy text me that I’d find it a bit creepy!”

That isn’t actually what I wrote, it was a message that outlined the general circumstances of what the weekend would be.

MrsJoshuajackson that text is perfect. And JJ is my ultimate celeb crush

Sorry, didn’t mean to sound blunt ice, just sorting out dinner. Agree that the version I put on here does sound a little creepy

Thanks joshua I will write something like that.

Any guy who doesn't respond with immediate interest to an "I'm home alone..." text is either a huge egomaniac, an idiot, or isn't interested in you.

Pick whichever you think applies to him. From your posts I would assume 1 or 3.

Men don't need to be "nudged". If he was genuinely interested in spending time with you, he'd make an effort to always get you booked in for the next date. A way to see if a guy is really into you is to sit back, be receptive and allow him to make plans and push things forward. Men don't hold back if they want someone.

I'd make alternative arrangements. Even if he does eventually say he's coming, do you really want to be with a guy who needs to be "chased" to remind him you exist?

Think I would text more like"could you let me know about coming over the weekend tomorrow as I've other options on the table if you're not going to make it?"

"I'd make alternative arrangements. Even if he does eventually say he's coming, do you really want to be with a guy who needs to be "chased" to remind him you exist?"

I totally agree with HouseOnTheLake and would be suggesting this too.

I know that's going to feel like a terrible risk ... but we're right, you know

I would not bother with him, he obviously is not into you.

B for bin op

MN is pretty much always right

Do folk listen though ? Well no, and they are foolish not to.

If he isn’t jumping at fixing a time to be alone with you, he just isn’t that fussed I’m afraid. No way would I text again, I would plan a night out - tough if it was part of his ‘game’ to keep you dangling and then getting in touch at the 11th hour. Life is too short for this sort of nonsense.

“Limerance” in your username...

You need to stop this right now. Take back control. You already “resent” him. Marriage and babies is not going to happen. You’re already attached and fretting over a text.

Big girl pants. Go silent on him. Block. Find someone who gives even half a shit about you - plenty exist.

You’re all right. Dammit.

I don’t want to have to undo these plans. Wish I could just go silent. But I hate the thought, however small, that he might show up.
Wish I’d never invited the ingrate!

Oh well...see you next time

"will you be round at the weekend? Need to know how much lube to buy"

He's probably waiting to see if his wife has made plane.

“"will you be round at the weekend? Need to know how much lube to buy"”

LMAO that’s a good one

I'm finding his attitude a bit of a turnoff, but I'm not going to just sit here waiting.

But you are just sitting there waiting!

“But you are just sitting there waiting!”

I know, I’m putting it off.

Send the text!

I think if I’d made an offer like that and it hadn’t been responded to I’d be put off, it depends on how confident you are op, I might be insecure!
But you could say
“I’m wanting to plan my weekend, are you free or not? “

Actually scrap that, you e made him an offer , he’s gone silent. Make sure you are out at the weekend, looking shit hot. If he calls, you are busy and it’s too late. Then he’ll know that his communication stinks, and that the planet doesn’t revoke round him.

Just. Move. On.