Modern restaurant/dining trends that annoy you

[ThistleAmore]

I'm supposed to be packing for a work trip, so obviously procrastinating wildly, and got to thinking about stuff that annoys me in modern cooking (and yes, I realise this is the very definition of a #firstworldproblem).

The lack of plates is an obvious one, but I also find this weird trend for not bothering to cut up vegetables irritating, too: call me old-fashioned, but I think whole carrots are for horses, and prefer them to at least have been introduced to a knife before they find their way onto my plate.

What gives you indigestion (physically or spiritually)?

Many many things but recently:
Over runny poached eggs or spermy eggs as I call them where the white is liquid and makes me feel ill

Crap veggie/ meat free option- squash and chickpea curry is an emergency tea for me- not something I want to pay £10 for sorry

No veggie option at places which have 3 main courses on the menu so you feel like a wanker for not eating meat when you are told “I’ll ask the chef if he can make you something”. I got a white bread roll with fried mushroom and blue cheese in it once

waiting staff who have to be interrogated about the specials, or just gesture at a badly written teeny tiny blackboard so far away you can barely see the board never mind what is written on it

waiting staff who take your order and then bring it and stand there proffering plates cos they don't remember who ordered what....now fair enough when there is a big party, but when there is just two of you it's not that hard to remember or even put a note.
If you take my order and remember you will get a lovely big tip!

and just bring the water, fresh tap water, if I wanted to waste my money on sparkling I would have asked.

Blimey, you lot eat in a lot of high end places.

Waiting staff and chefs not understanding that Parmesan and pesto are not vegetarian.

It seems the lack of plates is the main gripe on this thread.

Pleased that my fellow veggies are also outraged by the crap some places think is acceptable.

Potato and [generic vegetable] curry for £14? Fuck off.

Also, STOP WITH ALL THE SWEET ROASTED VEGETABLES. Mushrooms are nice. Lentils are nice. Courgettes are nice. Just because I don't eat meat doesn't mean that I want a plate of carby, stodgy swill so heavy that I'll need a nap after dinner.

Goat's cheese can do one, too. I used to like goat's cheese. Not any more.

Blimey, you lot eat in a lot of high end places.

Thing was, it USED to just be 'high-end'/hipstery places that did these sort of things, but now EVERYWHERE does it, so you're basically deluged by wankery nonsense, no matter where you go.

I saw a pic on FB of some pancakes served on a slate in a 'Spoons, FFS.

Using anything but a plate to serve on (soup aside). Portions so mean you need to go to the chip shop on the way home, wine that costs more than both your main courses combined and on looking at the label, it's the £4.99 stuff from Asda (happened last week), portions so large it's enough for another person (in between is what I want)

"but now EVERYWHERE does it"

Not in Barnsley they don't. Round here portions are so large that I never have a three course meal. A main and I'm full.

Foam. A purée is fine, not a foam.

And another thing!

Brioche buns.

I bloody hate them, every sodding (veggie) burger comes on a brioche bun. Give me any other sort of sodding bread, but brioche is for breakfast, not burgers.

foams,,its like someone spat over my meal
Titchy paper napkins
Scotch eggs with runny snotty whites,

A mini mason jar full of pate and only two quarters of toast to eat with it,

Food not served on plates. Wooden chopping boards and buckets wtf?
And starch clean white table cloths get my vote any day - there is nothing worse than sticky tables. Eww.
Eating in the dark - why?
Restaurants with loud booming music - how can anyone have a conversation?

Carrots 3
Greens 3
Cauliflower Cheese 3.5

Bloody hell, give me some free veg with the main!

Cutlery already on the table in a container that you have to serve yourself and having to ask for serviettes Also, multiple items from the menu being 'off'.

Uncomfortable trendy chairs
Food on slates
Brioche buns and muffins rather than bread
Gin parlours

You need to read this - you’re not alone.

wewantplates.com/

Advertising gluten free, providing a gluten free menu, then on ordering saying there may be cross contamination.

Offering a stupid number of gins but having only lemon to put in all of them. And not actually knowing their names, so ask for Tanquary Sevilla, get standard Tanquary.

Like others, food on slates etc, especially boards with lots of cuts in them.

Small plates/tapas.
This was cute a couple of years ago.

But I'm bored with being polite and having to share... give me a whole portion of some thing I want!

I hate those quirky afternoon teas, especially when they’re served on mini picnic tables onto your table. It’s wank.

Adding a service charge and not being told about it. I kid you not, a restaurant we went to in London had a service charge and gratuity on it. Luckily dh spotted it and told them to take one off. The service was awful, as was the food.

Big lumps of sickly pudding (fine) with only a dribble of warm cream or a smoosh of aerosol cream to wash it down. I need a pool of cream and a dollop or two of ice cream to wash it down. Do people really sit at home with a slice of sticky toffee pudding or chocolate flan on its own?!

Jars with handles instead of glasses.
The idolisation of gin.
“pan fried” - how else are I going to fry it?

Putting the meat on a bed of basically the rest of the dish. Nobody is going to cut the steak while it is resting on the mash, so you have to take it off first. Which means that the whole plate then looks messy before you have taken your first bite. Plus that the mash or whatever is now stuck to the underside of the steak.

And yy to wooden cutting boards, foam and deconstructed anything. If I want something deconstructed I'll go to the supermarket and buy the food myself. The whole point of eating out is the treat that someone else makes the dish for me. Not that I have to mix it up myself.

Really dark restaurants. I want to be able to see the menu, never mind what I’m eating.

Oh how I agree! Nearly walked out of one place. I really thought there had been a power cut!!!!

Laminated menus
Paper napkins
An itinerary delivered verbally as we eat. “Next we have Lulworth Cove diver caught scallop resting on a bed of celeriac and Kentish coxes apple purée and scattered with Gloucester Old Spot Lardons. Enjoy”. Just put the plate down. I’m well aware of what I ordered.

Jenga tower of chips, it's a way to be stingy with the chips.