This is just snobbery right?

[InferiorSuperior]

Out of 4 siblings we have
3 homeowners with savings etc
1 in LA housing no savings

CONSTANT remarks about it. Especially how ultimately it means I’m a drain. Because of having no savings or owning a house my care home fees will one day be free because I haven’t provided for my own old age .....
Comments about inheritance tax etc and how it penalises those who had saved to buy etc
I’m fed up of it. It’s snobbery isn’t it ?

why have you chosen a different path than your siblings?

Not really, people who talk like that tend to be those who are pretty close to your situation themselves and are so awe struck they escaped it they over compensate by going on about how awful it is.

Think there’s a bit of a drip here. How come it’s worked out this way OP?

Maybe she just hasn't been as fortunate in life?

Just circumstances really. I didn’t like school so didn’t go much, had my first child when I was a teenager so went on the list for a council house and we aren’t high earners that’s all.
Other siblings either worked hard got good jobs or one lived with parents for years to save up so really just circumstances
It’s just been mentioned a LOT lately

We do also have some debt. This is spoken about a lot and I was told is there any oontbme ever inheriting when it’ll just pay off my debt....
I pointed out a mortgage is also a debt so could say that about all of us

Why do you think something went wrong in her life? It’s hardly unusual to have siblings of differing wealth

Sorry that should say

Is there any point me inheriting

Honestly I never felt different but this is making me feel suddenly very different and uncomfortable

The inheritance tax thing is a matter of opinion but surely the statement that as a local authority-housed non-saver, you will not be in a position to fund your own end of life care is factual and not subjective? So I would say that no, it is not snobbery. How can it be so if it's just a basic statement of fact?

why have you chosen a different path than your siblings?

😂😂😂

Oh yeah but you know the type Brighton, why should I work so hard and save all this money only to have to sell my house to fund my old age when feckless Inferior just sits around in her council house and gets it all paid for

These people are deeply unpleasant and bitter, not stating facts

Sounds like you have regrets. It’s probably a sensitive time or topic for you.
Would you encourage your child to follow in your footsteps?

I'm the opposite. Only homeowner, amongst siblings with lifestyles similar to your own. They think I'm smug and look down on them. I think I worked hard and have achieved against adversity. You chose a lifestyle that gave a poorer outcome that isn't their fault.

why have you chosen a different path than your siblings?

Why not? Everyone lives life differently. Everyone has different circumstances/ambitions/experiences.

Could be snobbery. Could be bog-standard sibling sniping.
I hope they're not banging on about inheritances in front of your parents.

We aren't all going to need to go into a care home. Personally, I have absolutely no intention at all of going into one! Your dsibs don't sound very nice tbh. They should be glad their lives have turned out well, not trying to make you feel bad.

Does your family think you could do better?

Yes caprisun, I did say that the fairness of otherwise of inheritance tax is subjective. I still don't see what is snobby about stating that those with no assets or savings are unable to fund their own care!

It seems the op has had some cause for reflection lately and has come away from looking at her own life next to her siblings' feeling uncomfortable. If, as she says, these issues are being mentioned 'a lot', that is neither necessary nor particularly kind treatment. However, it's not snobbery that is making op uncomfortable.

It’s been my mother bringing it up suddenly since the third sibling purchased a property

I hadnt really given it much thought as was quite happy with my life now but it’s suddenly a recurring theme

Oh Florence 🙄 I reckon if she'd had a magical crystal ball and a choice she would've chosen to have savings and her own house don't you?

Superior it sounds like they're using picking on you as the thing that unites them and it's become almost their default. You don't owe them an explanation for your life. Don't tell them about your debts or income.
Concentrate on living your own life well as you can and working on improving your circumstances (if you feel like you want or need to.) and pay no heed to their bitching. Also weird for them to be talking about inheritance like that. Presumably one or both of your parents are still alive ffs.

Maybe Florence is one of your sisters?

If it's your dm saying things then your siblings are sucking up to her so they won't be the ones getting criticised. Cowardly of them tbh.

Could it be misplaced/badly expressed concern from your DM?

But generally none of them should be haranguing you about things. Offering advice is fine if you ask them, but just constantly berating you for your life choices/circumstances is unpleasant.

If I was a sister I’d be helping. I believe that a healthy family includes my siblings. So I’d be babysitting for free, invites to Sunday supper, interest free loans, educational research and support to improve her situation. Only in specific circumstances is renting acceptable in our family.
Maybe that the answer, ask them how they would help you get out if your rut (rental and debt) what skill set should you focus on to improve your work/income.
Raise the bar for your child.

Just sounds factual rather than snobbery and it’s getting to you because it’s already an insecurity of yours.

You haven’t worked and saved the money to buy a house and you will get any care etc paid for in old age despite not earning enough to pay for it. This is true is it not?

With regards to a mortgage being a debt. It is but it’s a good one, one that will enable you a better future once it’s paid off.