Christmas - when did you stop alternating?

[ThousandCows]

DH and I have always alternated Christmases between his family and mine - well, technically we've alternated between 'his choice' and 'my choice', but up until last year it worked out as going to each of our families.

This year we've got our two DC (2.4 and 4m) and I'm starting to wonder about starting our own tradition with our 'new' immediate family.

So, did you start spending Christmas Day apart from your parents/in-laws? If so, when? What do you do instead? And why?

We still alternate, but they come here we don't generally go to them. DC are 11 and 9

No way would I have taken my son out of the house when he was little. We went to different peoples before him. But as soon as he came along we stopped. I told my family that I wasn’t taking him out of his home at Xmas and away from his toys. No one batted an eye. In fact my mother thought it was weird that people actually did this.

People came to us for a while. But now my son is a teenager we just spend the time just us.

We did a three yearly rota between our home and each parental home until our kids went to uni. Now we've said no more, we stay at home and people can come to us whenever they want.

Never alternated, the most we have ever done is go down to my parents late Christmas Day. Not going to the in-laws or having them to us was never an option. Now it is just mil we have to be here for her.

When you have kids the alternating stops and you start hosting- or that's how we've worked it

Both parents came to us for a long time, then we alternated, then eldest DD got to about 10 and requested that she have xmas at home with just us, as she was fed up having to stick to DM's xmas rules. DM thinks xmas is about her, not children, so I was very glad to oblige, and we have had lovely xmases every since. DM still hasn't forgiven us and that was 10 years ago.

We always host. Anyone welcome and we normally end up cooking for about 14 but I would rather that than going anywhere else! Just us until about 13.00 or 14.00ish then everyone arrives and normally leaves about 18-20ish sometimes my brothers hang around and stay and we play games once the kids are in bed.

We stopped when DS was 2. I hated Xmas with in-laws so was prepared to sacrifice it with my parents and have a nice time with new traditions just us.

I've had a variety of scenarios, having been with my exH for 17 years and had kids together, being on my own for a few years and being with late-DH.

I have almost always spent the Christmas period with close family in some way - at my parents, at the in-laws, at home with either my parents, the in-laws or both, at SIL & BIL's.

I have always wanted to spend the time with my family, and that includes more than just my children and partner.

Growing up we always spent both Christmas and Boxing day with my mum's parents and siblings in some form, our house one of the days and my grandparents on the other. We'd also see my dad's siblings and families on Christmas Eve.

We had our first one together, then while my DPs were alive they came to us, and we would go to the PILs for Boxing Day. Last year we went to DD's out-laws, this year the kids are doing Xmas Day at theirs with visitors after 1600, we're having MIL, and then we'll sort out Boxing Day closer to the time. All these presupposes the conveyancers getting their finger out.

Probably a bit older than your two but we reached the point where by bundling the kids into the car after stocking opening felt a bit mean. I think we just moved to "we're staying put; if anyone wants to join us here, they're welcome". Then if they come, we cook for them, and if not, we have Christmas day to ourselves and see them another day.

Now the youngest is 10 we are more open to travelling again, especially to my brother's as they have younger children.

I never have. My DM warned me about this crap when I got engaged. We take each year as it comes.

We stopped travelling when we had our first dc and always host now. Dc are 7 and 4 and we have no plans to change this. My mum comes to us every year and dh’s parents alternate between us and his brother.

We've done various combinations. This year we'll stay with FIL and see MIL and nephew during that time. Last year we were at home and saw no one on the day itself. Due to distance I've only once in nearly 2 decades had Christmas as a grown up with my extended family.

There are no hard and fast rules, but it gets harder when you have a 2nd and there's more stuff to take with you...

We are continuing to alternate since arrival of baby this year. For a start we don’t have the space to host everyone and I enjoy being with family. The baby will be thoroughly spoilt by his relations. In future when we have a bigger house I am sure we will host at some point.

When they were about 7,5, and 2.
Reason being it just got 'too much' and too much like hard work. Much easier for us to stay in our own home. We invite people some years, and, now they are older, we do go to family some years - just mix it up with no expectation

When our DC was two. We wanted our own traditions in our own house and luckily our families were supportive of that. Now everyone on both sides comes to us and it's always a lovely day, plus I get to crawl upstairs into my own bed!

As soon as our DS was born we said Christmas day would just be the three of us. Both sides were fine about it. It will be the 4 of us this year 😊

They don’t know it yet, but this year. We decided in January that this year we were staying ‘nuclear’, just us 5. We have a larger house than my bro or sis and we’re the only ones with dc, and inevitably that ends up with us hosting or travelling an hour to my parents and staying overnight. This year I want to stay in my PJ’s, scale down the Christmas dinner, watch all the Christmas telly and generally not be on anyone else’s clock.

No one’s mentioned Christmas yet, and following a small disagreement over something else recently, my parents are being a bit frosty, so I’m getting apprehensive about when it actually does come up.

Never have! Just never got into the habit after we got married. We have spent different christmases with family but mainly have stayed at home. We lived far away from family with dh having a job that involved working up to/ including Christmas Day, it just wasn't possible. These days we stay home and mil usually comes, and we see my parents at some point during the festivities.

We have never alternated. We spend it with my parents and my MIL at our house, we have ever since we were married.
I am an only one. DH has one sister who never sees her mum at Christmas. MIL is divorced with no new significant other.
It works well for all, especially DS who loves having his adoring fans around him.

DD was born late November so we went to DPs then. That was the last time. We’ve had DOs and MIL at ours ever since. DD is now 20.

We are all local if that makes a difference?

Never if my in-laws lived closer I’d host everyone at mine bit as it is I host my mum one year then at I’m at my in laws the following year. It’s best for DD that wag because all her family her to see her at Christmas and noone gets left out.

If anyone reading this thread thinks thinks they have it tough, spare a thought for DH and I. Every other year we schlep or family back to Denmark from the US. We have two DC with autism and a 3rd going through the terrible 2s. We leave December 12th this year, go to Germany for a week and on to Denmark. In 15 days we will take 5 flights.

All because his parents refuse to come to us for Christmas. My MIL has told DH that she is disappointed that I don't left him come home to his family every Christmas. She should be thankful I go along with this ridiculous set up.

We didn't do this, they died so it wasn't an issue. But I've always thought that you should never get into a pattern, then nobody gets upset if you don't do the "correct" thing one year.