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Original poster

home alone... not sure its ok

75 replies

EducatingSweary · 03/11/2018 07:46

for a 13yo to be left home alone 6.30pm till 10pm with only a dog for company. 1 parent at least 2 hrs away and not due back "until late" (whatever that means?),. other parent about 40 mins away.

OP posts:
Nissemand · 03/11/2018 07:49

My 13 year old would be fine with that, and would have been OK at12 too.

It's no different to being home alone in the day.

Unicornandbows · 03/11/2018 07:51

It's not that bad if she was younger I'd be sceptical but 13 is fine.

moomoogalicious · 03/11/2018 07:51

It's fine. My 11 yo (y7) would be fine with that too

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Families
Original poster
EducatingSweary · 03/11/2018 07:51

is it really no different than during the day though?

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 03/11/2018 07:52

Being on your own is different of a night, if you are nervous.

Even if you aren't nervous, there's realistically more danger once it goes dark.

I would have allowed my DD to have a mate around, at that age.

hmmwhatatodo · 03/11/2018 07:54

Why do you ask?

Original poster
EducatingSweary · 03/11/2018 07:54

i forgot to add this is on a school night

OP posts:
Nissemand · 03/11/2018 07:55

There's no more danger in the dark.

If a child can't deal with fire/burglars/water leaks, they'll be just as helpless in broad daylight.

At 12 or 13 I can't see any issue with it.

SnuggyBuggy · 03/11/2018 07:56

I don't think it's the worse thing in the world. I had a 16 year old cousin who was babysat by a grandparent which I found way weirder.

Birdsgottafly · 03/11/2018 07:56

What's the reason the child is being left?

It should be avoided. How does the 13 year old feel about it?

Are you the NRP, or dreaded Mil?

Original poster
EducatingSweary · 03/11/2018 07:57

i ask because i am conflicted.

OP posts:
hmmwhatatodo · 03/11/2018 07:58

I get the feeling you aren’t the parent...

Original poster
EducatingSweary · 03/11/2018 07:59

ha ha no not dreaded mil or anything like that

both parents definitely resident

OP posts:
SpottingTheZebras · 03/11/2018 07:59

I don’t see that it matters whether it is a weekend or weekday night. It’s fine regardless. Presumably in an emergency the child can call parents and, if necessary, the emergency services.

SausageSimon · 03/11/2018 07:59

I think it's fine as long as the 13yo is sensible enough. Better if there's neighbours they could call on in an emergency. My DS is only 5 so not an issue for a long time but we are lucky to have an entire street of lovely neighbours

FireworksAndSparklers · 03/11/2018 08:00

It's fine. There may be other contingencies you're not aware of. When mine were being left home alone, we made sure there were more local friends (of ours, so adults) that they could contact if they couldn't reach us. They were all sensible enough to know how to deal with any accident or fire, probably better than many adults I know! Really the age of the child is irrelevant - some 13 year olds are definitely more capable than some adults, in my experience!

Birdsgottafly · 03/11/2018 08:01

"There's no more danger in the dark."

So as many burglaries, assaults, anti-social behaviour , happens during daylight hours?

If the child lives in an area populated by MNers, they'd have no chance of asking for help, because everyone seems to ignore callers etc once it's gone dark.

Generally after dark Police Curfews are imposed for under 14s, for good reason, they are more vulnerable.

FireworksAndSparklers · 03/11/2018 08:02

What relation are you to the situation?

I have to admit, I've often felt that the biggest risk to leaving my capable kids alone in the house has been from annoying busybodies who disapprove and might report us to someone!

Birdsgottafly · 03/11/2018 08:04

Is this a one off OP?

The age of the child is relevant, that's why we have laws and policies based on age.

The biggest danger is other Teens finding out the house is empty and storming in. That depends on we're you live.

Original poster
EducatingSweary · 03/11/2018 08:05

for clarity i am the mum

dh has a "must go to event" which "has been in his diary for ever" and failed to mention it any earlier because he "doesnt look at his diary from one week to another" .

no. i dont buy that eitherHmm.

this clashes with a regular evening thing i am doing which was booked to take into account that dh is NEVER out on this partucular night.

clearly there are other issues but i dont need to go into this right now.

he seems to think its ok to leave DD.

but then that suits him to say this doesnt ut.

i dont think its ok.

i dont have family nearby i can ask for help. obviously friends have their own children to look after. its a school night.

OP posts:
FlibbertyGiblets · 03/11/2018 08:07

It is fine.

The 13 year old is not left alone overnight. You haven't indicated that the child has any additional needs.

What relation to you is the child?

pisner · 03/11/2018 08:09

If the kid is ok with it then it's fine ... but hope u sort your DH issues out , there sounds more to it than what you've said 

LongSummerDays · 03/11/2018 08:09

It's fine. 13 yo will probably love the freedom!

FlibbertyGiblets · 03/11/2018 08:10

X post.

It still is fine but your husband has made his priorities clear.

What to do with that information? Up to you, but could be a deal breaker. I'm sorry.

SarahBeeney · 03/11/2018 08:11

My babysitters are 16 and 14 and regularly look after my DC til midnight. So not far off your DC's age!
I think it's fine as long as your DC is happy about it.