home alone... not sure its ok

[EducatingSweary]

for a 13yo to be left home alone 6.30pm till 10pm with only a dog for company. 1 parent at least 2 hrs away and not due back "until late" (whatever that means?),. other parent about 40 mins away.

I'd say that's fine, assuming child is reasonably sensible. I definitely wouldn't let them have a friend round though, kids that age together get silly.

If you have a friendly neighbour ask them to make sure they answer the door and let child know they should go there.

Absolutely fine. I would do, in fact I do on a fairly regular basis.
(work late and husband at sea). Have to have a sensible child though.
Mine just does her homework, chats to her friends and goes to bed at 10 - what she does normally!

How does your 13 year old feel about it? Do you have neighbours you trust who could be on hand?

I wouldn't leave my kids alone that late if they didn't feel comfortable and I wouldn't leave them if they didn't have someone nearby who they could contact for quick help in a emergency. But as long as those contingencies are in place, it feels pretty safe to me.

Also, may I suggest you and your DH start using Google calendar? Then you won't get clashes like this in the future.

I totally get your concern but if the 13 year old is ok with it then I’d say it’s ok. Do you have a neighbour that if they get a bit concerned they can ring? I think dd was about that age when I first left her in an evening and it was me that wasn’t ok, not her! When I got back turned out she’d loved the freedom on having the tv to herself and microwave popcorn just because she could!

If she’s happy then it’s fine .. she’ll orobanly be in constant comma with friends on Snapchat/Instagram etc if she’s anything like my DD
My DD wouldn’t be happy with doing it but she’s a fretted .. my son has done similar at 13

Apologies for awful spelling mistakes !!

Absolutely fine at 13 providing the 13 year old is ok with it.
My dd would have been fine at 12, my ds11 doesn’t like being on his own when it’s dark( so comes to scouts drop off instead of be home alone for 10 mins).
The only thing that matters is the child’s experience of it. Lots of 13 year old would love the freedom, some wouldn’t.

Depends entirely on the child. Do they not have any friends they can stay with for the night?

It's fine if they are ok with it. Do you have a good neighbour whose number can be left with your dc? We did this at first.

For me, I wouldn't leave a 13yr old alone until 10pm & my DD wouldn't be happy either.

Its fine but the way your dh has sprung this is influencing your reaction

What does your DD think about it? I think that's the important bit. If she is genuinely happy to be left, and you trust her not to trash the place when you are gone, then its fine. If she will be upset by it, then not so good.

I think 13 is fine. Make sure you stay in text/phone contact. 10pm isn’t late.

My only just 14 year old is totally at ease with this. I have to have chemotherapy every few weeks and it’s quite a distance home, some days I don’t get back until gone 11. She just texts me she’s going to bed.. not even slightly concerned about being alone from after school. It’s rare to be that long but she manages fine and worries less about it than I do!

My 13 year old is fine with being home alone during these times.

For your own price of mind, if you don’t feel happy about it and haven’t done it before, then just don’t go to your event (or go and leave early if you can). Would you spend the whole night worrying and therefore have a terrible time anyway?)

My 13 year old ds wouldn’t be happy with that. During the day he’s fine but not once it starts to get dark. If dh asked him, ds would probably say he’d be ok but I know he would be scared witless. We have 3 big dogs in the house but find these can scare ds if they start barking at something they’ve seen/heard, even if it’s just a cat. On the other hand my 13 year old niece would probably be quite fine with it but I think she spends far too much time alone and has done for a couple of years.

As a one off I think it is okay. I have a 12 year old and wouldn't leave him longer than 10 hours, but they grow up so quickly at this age, at 13 I think I would.

Is your dd ok with it? Can your dh event be cancelled or is it pertinent to his work? If it can’t be cancelled then if you aren’t happy you will have to miss your event as a one off.

At 13 this is fine and something I would expect the average 13 year old to manage without any issues (assuming there isn't some background like additional needs or severe anxiety). She's not a small child who needs constant supervision.

If the child is fine with it, and is generally sensible, I think it's fine. It's part of the process of becoming independent.

Both of mine would loved the rare opportunity to be in the house on their own (with canine company) - free rein on the fridge and telly, chance to lounge about in the living room on the phone, whinging about what awful parents they have who never let them do anything. etc

Your DC will be fine - just tell them not to answer the door.

Honestly, I think it's fine. My mother (single parent) was a shift worker - several days a week she wasn't home till 10.30. I can't say I loved it - or rather, since it was normal for us, I'll put it the other way round and say I loved the evenings she was home - but I used to watch TV, do homework etc and it was OK. We lived in a block of flats though so I always felt surrounded by people - I'm sure I'd have been more nervous living in an isolated cottage!

Having said that, I get the feeling DH is being a bit thoughtless and selfish - perhaps rather 'disconnected' from you and DD - since he is brushing off your objections and just going to do his own thing no matter what you say?

Misread it as 6.30am to 10 pm and was going to say that if it's a school night then it's really 6.30 to 8.30am and 3.30 to 10pm, not home alone all day.

Three and a half hours and back at 10pm (not late) is fine, I would do this with my 12 year old.

Well I was I Definitely occasionally left at that age for that kind of time, that said I was a responsible teen. No mobiles either so basically no contact until they came home.