Fuming!

[Mimi2018]

Hi

So my LO has just turned 6months and I have been and still am exclusively breast feeding which has taken a lot of hard work..

So as it's time for baby to start solids this is a exciting time for me to be the first one to put food in her mouth and see her reaction for memories etc

Last weekend my husband had a family wedding which I had to attend with his family. We all stayed in a hotel and me husband and LO went for the breakfast buffet and when we got there we saw my sister in law so my husbands sister who is a mother of 4 and is 37 years old already at the table with her 4year old eating breaky so we left my LO with her on her lap whilst me and hubby join the buffet line..

When I came back with my breakfast I could see that my sister in law made a face (like she's done something sneaky) so I asked her what's up? She turned around and said to me "oh I just gave your LO some coco pops and the milk from her bowl

My heart sunk and I wanted to burst in tears as when I looked over at my LO I can see she was experiencing something new in her mouth this really effected me as

1. At that age you are NOT allowed cows milk
2. At her mother I waited all these months to be the first one to put food in my LO mouth and my sister in law took that special moment away from me
3. She totally undermined me as a mother and did not ask for my permission
4. Completely unhygienic eating coco pops from her bowl and unwashed spoon

I know this was completely wrong of her and I feel so angry and hurt by it.

I haven't told my husband about it yet as I'm trying to calm myself down first also I know he will just think it's nothing which will get me more angry

What would you do in this situation??

Thanks!

People saying 'such an over reaction':

So you all feel that you have the right to give someone else's 6 mo anything you personally fancy, such as creme eggs, coco pops, chocolate. Regardless of what their mother thinks and without checking if they are allergic!

So selfish!

Not at all. Many of us have felt them same as the OP.

With hindsight we can recognise the over reaction.

No I wouldn’t feed anyone’s baby anything without the approval of their parent. I can still see with hindsight that it’s not the end of the world (albeit bloody annoying).

I spoke to my husband about it last night and guess what??

He completely agreed with me! He said that it was totally wrong for his sister to do that and agreed with my same points

1. Undermining
2. Unhealthy
3. Understanding that e as the mother wanted that first experience

He said that he will still speak to his sister to tell her in future not to do that as she wouldn't like it if someone done that to her baby and kids

This is her brother saying this who is very very close to her, who has his own strong opinions about everything and also the fact he never takes my side but the fact he did ok this just tells me that I wasn't overreacting

So I am quite surprised how most mothers on this thread felt I was with harsh comments but like I said everyone is entitled to their opinions :)

Thank you to those who did try to understand my angle and feelings

I feel much better now after having that support from my husband

Glad that you had support from DH.

It sounds like he is an independent thinker, but is willing to listen to argument.

You would probably both benefit from talking through the guidelines that you both want to follow in bringing up your children.

That way, you will both know how to react in situations like this, and you will understand when you will be likely to get support.

It will also deter people who like to cause trouble when they realise that you present a unified front on those issues.

And can let you be relaxed on other fronts.

Thank you for your advice :)

Hope that I didn't overstep the mark - I just noted that you were tentative on whether DH would support you or not. 

I really get where you are coming from. With my second I managed to exclusively bf until 6 months. It was really hard work especially as I have low milk production (so with 1st child stopped bf by 16 weeks as I had nothing).

Anyway, at a wedding when dd wasn't even 5.5 months my mum tried to give her cake! I made it very clear it wasn't happening and we were very much looking forward to her trying food later that month and it was a big deal to us.

I would have been devastated if someone had taken that away from me.

I agree with you OP. I was so excited to feed my LO for the first time. All of the firsts are exciting as a new mum, and your SIL took an important milestone away from you. I’d have been furious, not so much about the specific food but about the fact that she thought it was ok to take a “first” away from me. And that she thought it was ok to feed my child without my permission and with no knowledge of allergies etc.

It’s done now though. I agree with the pp who said let this milestone be the last time SIL is ever allowed to be with LO unsupervised. She clearly can’t be trusted to respect your authority as the child’s parent.