Fuming!

[Mimi2018]

Hi

So my LO has just turned 6months and I have been and still am exclusively breast feeding which has taken a lot of hard work..

So as it's time for baby to start solids this is a exciting time for me to be the first one to put food in her mouth and see her reaction for memories etc

Last weekend my husband had a family wedding which I had to attend with his family. We all stayed in a hotel and me husband and LO went for the breakfast buffet and when we got there we saw my sister in law so my husbands sister who is a mother of 4 and is 37 years old already at the table with her 4year old eating breaky so we left my LO with her on her lap whilst me and hubby join the buffet line..

When I came back with my breakfast I could see that my sister in law made a face (like she's done something sneaky) so I asked her what's up? She turned around and said to me "oh I just gave your LO some coco pops and the milk from her bowl

My heart sunk and I wanted to burst in tears as when I looked over at my LO I can see she was experiencing something new in her mouth this really effected me as

1. At that age you are NOT allowed cows milk
2. At her mother I waited all these months to be the first one to put food in my LO mouth and my sister in law took that special moment away from me
3. She totally undermined me as a mother and did not ask for my permission
4. Completely unhygienic eating coco pops from her bowl and unwashed spoon

I know this was completely wrong of her and I feel so angry and hurt by it.

I haven't told my husband about it yet as I'm trying to calm myself down first also I know he will just think it's nothing which will get me more angry

What would you do in this situation??

Thanks!

If its a general pattern of undermining you then maybe it's just the straw that broke the camel's back.

It is hard when people are overbearing.

Thank you

I get it too OP. A family friend did the same thing to me with my eldest. He was 4mo and it was baby rice, but still.

I'd let your DH know how you feel and have a little vent and then draw a line under it.

Current advice is make sure kids gets all the foods like cows milk and nuts and eggs from early on ... keeping them out of the diet of babies seems to be one of the reasons that they have had a surge in occurrence!!!

Whoever told you not to feed cows milk might need to update their parenting advice in relation to allergies.

Yes I think that's what I will do

I’d be pissed off it was coco pops as they are so sugar laden

But milk is ok at 6 months

Still coco pops. If it was sweet potato I’d be yeh great

Don't feel like you've missed a memorable moment. When I first tried to feed solids to my son it was a bloody disaster. He hated it and was months later before it actually became pleasurable to feed him. He HATED food. I was stressed every time it was mealtime!

I can’t remember my two’s first food, and they’re only 4 and 3.
It is annoying, and I can see it would be even more so with a history of being overbearing/taking over. However in the grand scheme of things it’s not a big deal. Cows milk is fine at 6 months, just not as a main drink. I assume she’d know if your baby had allergies that you were aware of?

I understand where your coming from OP. I wouldn't dream of randomly feeding a baby when it's mother or father isn't there to say it's ok! It does undermine the parent, you're right.

Unfortunately you'll have to let it go now as it's been and gone, but I suggest putting the big girl knickers on in future with family members that it's your baby not theirs, and therefore at the moment you make decisions on their life (within reason).

I can understand being annoyed that a mother of four gave her such inappropriate food but I can’t understand thus idea that as her mother you have some right to feed her first. It’s a baby not a doll. No one gets dibs on her.

I would be annoyed. Especially if she knows that you are exclusively breastfeeding. And how horrible to have junk like coco pops as the first taste.

They are interfering but your child will survive and you will enjoy feeding her some food that is healthy for her.

I get you Mimi. It's not that it was coco pops and milk. You'd feel the same if it was a puree you'd made yourself, out of organic veg and breastmilk. It's not even that it was weaning, it's that it was a first thing, and those are important for most, especially with a first baby.

There'll be threads on here about someone else taking a child for a first haircut, where everyone is as livid as the OP, in a how dare they kind of way. And yes I know haircuts aren't weaning, but you could also say meh, they'll grow out of that haircut, it's not forever, and you won't remember this in years to come, but it's important now, for you, so I'm not going to dismiss that.

Did your SIL know your dd hadn't had solids yet?

But you have been giving her her first food?

Perhaps your DH may have liked to have given her her first solids, as he hasn't been able to feed her at all until now?

I can see it was really important to you but I do think you need to forget about it and move on. There will be plenty of other firsts.

I really can't remember first food being given, neither can DC . I know it seems like a big thing for you now but it isn't really.

So I suggest forgetting about it.

agree with the others, try and let this one go, yes you're right to be fucking pissed off that she fed your baby cocoa pops!

You seriously need to chill the fuck out.

I agree, Chew.

Best to try and forget your annoyance about this issue,although it meant a lot to you,your sister in law probably didn't think about such a thing would upset you..
But best to take your own control, if you have those controlling in laws around.

It's fine and won't do any harm. But I can understand you're upset, sometimes people do thoughtless things. I'm sure she didn't mean to undermine you.

I do understand OP. Ex-MIL shoved a chocolate button in DS’s mouth when he was 4 weeks old. I went ape-shit.

However, in a few year’s time you will have gone through so much drama with your DC that this will be all in the past if not forgotten.

I woukdn’t dream of feeding someone’s child without consent, but unless SIL has form she was probably trying to be helpful.

I'd be pissed that it was coco pops, not pissed that she did it.

Forget it, don't involve your DH otherwise this first memorable moment will be totally eclipsed by the fall out of him not agreeing with you or his response making you angry, making the whole memory worse.

Your DD will have plenty of other new tastes and textures for you to watch her reaction to and you will miss many more important firsts.

I completely understand your feelings OP!

However, I would have been doubly fuming about the coco pops. Totally sugar laden and unsuitable for such a young baby.

You start your weaning process from now with foods of your choice!

Mimi2018 I'm sorry people have been unpleasant to you on here.
It sounds to me like your sister in law just didn't think and I'm sure she didn't mean any harm.
I see where you are coming from, those 'firsts' are important especially when its your first.
Take a breath and let it go. There will be lots of other 'firsts'.

xxxxx

And 'fuming' is definitely an over reaction.