Fuming!

[Mimi2018]

Hi

So my LO has just turned 6months and I have been and still am exclusively breast feeding which has taken a lot of hard work..

So as it's time for baby to start solids this is a exciting time for me to be the first one to put food in her mouth and see her reaction for memories etc

Last weekend my husband had a family wedding which I had to attend with his family. We all stayed in a hotel and me husband and LO went for the breakfast buffet and when we got there we saw my sister in law so my husbands sister who is a mother of 4 and is 37 years old already at the table with her 4year old eating breaky so we left my LO with her on her lap whilst me and hubby join the buffet line..

When I came back with my breakfast I could see that my sister in law made a face (like she's done something sneaky) so I asked her what's up? She turned around and said to me "oh I just gave your LO some coco pops and the milk from her bowl

My heart sunk and I wanted to burst in tears as when I looked over at my LO I can see she was experiencing something new in her mouth this really effected me as

1. At that age you are NOT allowed cows milk
2. At her mother I waited all these months to be the first one to put food in my LO mouth and my sister in law took that special moment away from me
3. She totally undermined me as a mother and did not ask for my permission
4. Completely unhygienic eating coco pops from her bowl and unwashed spoon

I know this was completely wrong of her and I feel so angry and hurt by it.

I haven't told my husband about it yet as I'm trying to calm myself down first also I know he will just think it's nothing which will get me more angry

What would you do in this situation??

Thanks!

My mum let my DD suck some stilton cheese of her finger when DD was 10 weeks old. I wasn't best pleased but had forgotten all about it till now. Don't sweat it!

Deep breaths. Yes its annoying but not enough to let yourself get upset over. Your LO wont remember it so neither should you! And to be fair you dont know if anyone done that with SIL’s kids too, whos to say she got to be the first one every time?

I understand. In your shoes, no matter how petty it would seem, I’d be cross about someone deciding to make unilateral choices about my baby, especially after putting all the hard yards in with exclusive breastfeeding.

The moment has passed to say something now , and to be honest it’s probably best left. Your baby hasn’t come to harm, and there will be other firsts.

If your in laws are controlling, SIL might have done it to get a rise out of you. It does show that you won’t necessarily be able to trust her to follow your preferences for your baby, so use this to figure out how to move on rather than going back to it now.

Coco pops is a shit choice. Shame that it wasn't banana, porridge or something else more nutritious.

If you haven't given your child their first food then chill- there will be a first time you spoon feed your child moment.

On these sort of threads, after being told they BU, the OPs always defend their position by claiming they have interfering in laws… but I always wonder how true that is when such non events, like giving a six month old some milk and a couple of coco pops, spark a crisis. Controlling in laws, or highly strung OPs? Its a quandary.

I agree that SIL might have been goady because you are doing the best you can for your child, and not giving her rubbish like coco pops.

It isn't a minor event when your child starts to taste their first food after breast milk. I'm surprised that more mums on here don't remember enjoying their babies reactions.

Well their reactions can’t have been that notable if I can’t remember it 🤷🏻‍♀️. We did BLW though so I imagine it just involved a nibble on a stick of cooked carrot that then got thrown on the floor, or something like that.

You feel that you have lost an important event in your baby's life op and I understand that. However your baby has only tried out one cereal and milk. Every single food you offer is a new experience for your baby. The first time he/she tastes scrambled egg/mashed potato/orange juice/yoghourt ext ext ext ...you will see and enjoy a whole massive range of responses. I would just enjoy each of these new experiences with your baby and move on.

Make it another memorable moment. The last time they have you dc unsupervised.
My exmil told me she would feed my dc meat when she had them.
So she never had them.
Simple.

I would be annoyed too OP. My friend (who I love) fed my DS3 chocolate at 4 months as his first food. I was not impressed.

Thanks everyone for your reassuring comments it as actually helped me feel better and what I have taken away from this thread is that there will be many other foods that I can get to see my LO first reactions.

The bit I'm most upset and angry about it the sneakiness and undermining not asking for my permission as clearly SIL knew she done something wrong otherwise she would not have made that "I done something you won't like" face at me so clearly that indicates to me she done that knowing I won't be happy with it.

To all the harsh comments on this thread that's fine that's your opinion I was just sharing mines and my feelings as everyone gets upset and angry about different things and this happened to be mines.

And the comment about now knowing not to trust my LO to be unsupervised is very true!

Thanks again!

Not to trust *SIL (I meant)

I do kind of get it OP (I walked in to the room and my mum had a cream egg in the mouth of my 3 month old son). I was not happy.

It isn’t logical and you are over-reacting and being precious. In a few years you’ll see it differently. I was much the same as you though.

(Said 3 month old is 17 next week. Doesn’t even like cream eggs).

I do see your point and I would probably have felt the same at the time. But honestly, you will feel differently about things like this as your child gets older, and even more so if you have more children.
I wonder if she even knew your LO had not had solid food before? With my first one is wait until bang on 6 months, but I was definitely in the minority. Could it be possible that she thought nothing of it (being an old hand with 4 kids)?

(Could the face have been realising after she had fed her that it might have been the wrong thing, rather than she did it knowing full well not to?)

Such an overreaction, I can't stand all this #makingmemories bullshit - you have the rest of your life to have memories of, why with all these enforced 'memory' milestones and all the drama about it? 🤦‍♀️

The night before we all went out for dinner where the topic came up about weaning where she asked me "are you going to start wearing soon?" Where I replied back saying yes I'm going to start soon she then replied saying you should start off with rabbi rice and mix it with mash carrots etc

She fully well knew that I haven't started weaning yet and have not fed my LO anything yet

Then the next morning she went and done that..

It's a bit pfb. Remember that well, though.

I am shocked by these responses. I have two dc both under 2 and I can remember their first foods. I thought about what their first foods would be, thought about when they would be, dh caught the first tastes of food on camera. I am just as pfb with my second as I was with my first. I would be so mad at my sil if she'd done this. Especially after the conversation you'd had with her the night before. I think that feeding your dd coco pops after that conversation makes her a total cow who I'd really not want much to do with going forward. I think I would have made it clear I wasn't at all happy at the time without having a big argument at the breakfast table. I'm not sure how I'd deal with it a week later.

Op, I hope you get to enjoy the many, many more firsts your dd will have

Thank you

@batshitbetty totally agree! It's bloody ridiculous. Perhaps the OP would like Netmums Huns better?

SIL knew I was very very angry as my face said it all to the point she after a while said "don't worry it was just a little bit" I did not say anything to that and just let m face do the talking as I knew if I opened my mouth it would have turned into something big where I know my husband would not support me either..

Surely as her auntie she would know if lo had allergies?? Ay 6 months a used spoon is the least of worries when putting things into mouth. You're being precious.

Surely as her auntie she would know if lo had allergies?? Ay 6 months a used spoon is the least of worries when putting things into mouth. You're being precious.

Not necessarily, I don't know what my nieces/ nephews are allergic to

She fully well knew that I haven't started weaning yet and have not fed my LO anything yet

Then the next morning she went and done that.. moving away from the pfb first moments, it's still extremely out of order

Serious eye rolling to the point eyes have popped out and is spending the day at alton towers