To think how many times do you need to be told?!?

[FurryAndObnoxious]

God help me. A family member 40 odd year old woman is so difficult and always has been!
She shouts and carries on. when she's told not to she's gets louder
She asks inappropriate question repeatedly and when she's told carries on asking.
She's tell lies and when asked why just gets Loud and defensive
She puts all her business all over Facebook and basically tells the world she can't cope with her job.
How many times does this person need to be told this behaviour isn't helping her?

Let her get on with it as long as she isn't telling people your business it is up to her isn't it?

yes, you need to distance yourself from her
by the way, something smells nice Jackie

Said with great respect and sensitivity. Has she been tested for anything.

But she's unhappy and when we tell her why doesn't understand!

There was a query when she was younger she had ASD but it was never followed up

That's one of the signs of ASD
Asking inappropriate questions and or starting inappropriate conversations.