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Original poster

Mother pushing pram

59 replies

Charlotte98 · 30/10/2018 01:13

Hi, myself and my boyfriend took our 2 week old son to the park for the first time and we were joined by my mother, she got so annoyed that my boyfriend asked to push the pram down a slope as he was being protective, my mum has said she feels so upset and annoyed about not being able to push our son in his pram, it’s got to a point that they have fallen out over it and I’m stuck in the middle... I think we have every right to not let anyone else push our pram but the thing is she did get to push him a little bit?!?!

OP posts:

Birdie69 · 30/10/2018 01:20

Oh dear - what a storm in a teacup. Your boyfriend was right, DM was right, everyone was right but now you are fighting about it. Maybe your boyfriend might swallow his pride and apologise to your DM and explain that the was just feeling protective of the baby. Otherwise this could escalate, and next time you need your DM to babysit she might suddenly become unavailable. I'm a grandmother and yes we can get insulted why young parents treat us as being incapable....so an apology is in order I think.

purpleme12 · 30/10/2018 01:25

Erm I do think it was a bit stupid to be honest insisting on pushing the baby down the hill! I think I would have been insulted and incredibly annoyed!

Dlux · 30/10/2018 01:31

I honestly don't get the obsession with some grandmothers and the pram pushing thing.
We never had a pram as we carried our baby and it was drama.
It is like children playing with dolls 🤦🏻‍♀️
I don't think your OH should apologise at all.
Baby is 2 weeks old and if it would have been the mum everyone would say "your baby your way"
She needs to relax, it is your baby and it is a silly thing for her to be upset about

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treaclesoda · 30/10/2018 01:43

You have every right to not let anyone else push the pram. But it's not just a random anyone else. I'm not surprised that your mum is hurt that your boyfriend thinks her incapable of pushing a pram down a hill safely, it's fairly insulting. You'd have been better saying that you didn't want her to push the pram at all than to suggest that she can only be trusted on flat ground.

JosellaPlayton · 30/10/2018 01:45

Your mother wanting to push the pram is daft, it’s a baby not a dolly but she’s probably a proud and overexcited new grandmother. I don’t see your boyfriend not allowing her to push the pram down a slope as protective at all- it’s weird and controlling (unless there’s a dripfeed coming that your mother is an alcoholic or has a physical disability). I’m not surprised she’s upset to be honest, it’s incredibly insulting. I hope your boyfriend apologises to her.

ItsAllNew01 · 30/10/2018 01:56

None of you think the mother has a right to be offended? Erm, I would be if i'd already raised children and someone didn't think I was capable of safely pushing a pram down a slope. Total over reaction by your partner.

PyongyangKipperbang · 30/10/2018 02:10

The baby is 2 weeks old and he is a new dad, the only person he would trust is the OP! Of course she is being U, she should remember that in another month or so they will be both begging her to have the baby for an hour or two.

When did it become ok for grandparents to expect to get their own way and an apology from the new parents when they dont get it?!

StoppinBy · 30/10/2018 02:12

I would let my Mum push the pram down a hill even though I don't get along very well with her.

I wouldn't let my husbands Mum or Dad do the same because they are very very Blasé about safety when it comes to my kids and both tend to be distracted by the smallest thing when they are meant to be watching the kids.

Without knowing what the situation is here or how big the hill was (a super steep hill I would also ask my hubby to take the pram back from either) it's a bit hard to judge, your hubby did what was right, your Mum needs to get over it I am afraid or she is going to have a very strained relationship with her Grandkids if she is going to be getting upset over such small things all the time.

StoppinBy · 30/10/2018 02:14

^ should read your hubby did what he thought was right

MO2x · 30/10/2018 02:50

Oh no. Tell DH to apologise he didn't mean to offend he was just been the protective new dad and your mum should be proud her DG has a daddy like that. But also try to avoid taking them both out teether with the pram to avoid arguments in near future! My mum always pushes my pram and the children love it but when I'm on my own I make the most of the proud mummy push so then I don't mind my mum taking over when we're together. - also she doesn't feel used when I ask her take over going up a hill. I have a double pram and 2 heavy children xx

PrincessJuanita · 30/10/2018 03:07

Seriously? I can't believe your Dp didn't trust your mum to push the pram down a hill.... does she have form for letting Prams and other wheeled objects go at the top of hills??? It IS quite insulting. Silly of your mum to get offended as new parents do quite often impose bonkers rules until they relax a bit.... but still

AgentProvocateur · 30/10/2018 03:19

Unless there’s a massive drip feed and your mum is 98 and in a wheelchair, I really think she’d be capable of pushing a Pram down a hill Your boyfriend is slightly bonkers and owes your mum an apology.

Jlynhope · 30/10/2018 03:27

Your dp should apologize. It honestly amazes me how some people treat grandparents on here. Your mom is an excited Grandmother being told she's too irresponsible to push a pram.

SpareASquare · 30/10/2018 03:51

The way I read it is that your DM was pushing the pram but your boyfriend forcibly took over when going down a hill?
If that is the case then he was a dick. Completely. He should apologise.

Tadda · 30/10/2018 04:01

I've had similar - We went to a shopping centre, Me, DH and MIL with Dd in pram - MIL was in a quiet mood all day but didn't say anything - kept asking DH 'is she ok', then he got moody......anyway, short shopping trip!

It was only when we went home he said he spoke to her and it was because she wanted to push the pram....but didn't say anything to me so how would I know!?

(Tbh I would be watching if she needed a hand - its not an easy pram to maneuver -maxi-cosi/quinny combo- and she does get cramp in her hands - I don't think there's anything wrong in making sure everyones ok!!?)

NerrSnerr · 30/10/2018 04:54

Your boyfriend should apologise. Did he really take over whilst going down a slope. As pp said, unless she's physically unable to push the pram why didn't he think she could do it? Would you be allowed to push the pram down a slope?

MathsQuery · 30/10/2018 05:56

Unless there's a back story then he was being a bit of a dick to be honest. Bit you know what, I am sure we've all been a tad precious with our newborns.

TrojanWhore · 30/10/2018 06:23

Your DP was being an utter dick.

If you didn't want her to push the pram at all, say so because it is correct that it is your choice. But don't hide behind that to excuse your DP's appalling rudeness. He is not being 'protective', he is being irrational at best and controlling at worst.

Pushing a pram round a park, even a hilly one, is not hazardous.

HannahnotAgnes · 30/10/2018 06:28

I think your BF was being protective of his precious first born - not deliberately offensive to your mum. I remember going out for a walk with my DH & DFIL when my PFB was about a month old - DFIL was pushing the pram but I insisted on pushing the pram to cross the road. I know my DFIL was perfectly capable of crossing the road whilst pushing the pram but I couldn't cope with the stress, so insisted on doing it myself .

Thankfully he didn't get offended (or at least if he did, he didn't show it!).

lovetherisingsun · 30/10/2018 06:28

Your boyfriend was an offensive dick.

user1493413286 · 30/10/2018 06:29

Your DP was being over protective and your DM has been over sensitive and over reacted. I would ask them to agree to disagree and focus on your baby instead.
The worries and fears you have with a new baby can look irrational to other people but that doesn’t mean they’re any less real for the ones experiencing it. I asked pil not to do things that were perfectly normal to do but in my eyes at the time I worried about it and as far as I was concerned it was my baby and I made the rules (I’ve chilled out a bit since then)

Sirzy · 30/10/2018 06:30

So your mum was pushing it and then he decided she couldn’t be trusted to push down the hill? I don’t blame her for being offended!

If she can’t be trusted to push the pram I am hoping you don’t intend on asking her for any help looking after your child!

INeedNewShoes · 30/10/2018 06:42

If you live in a hilly area buy a buggy strap:

www.littlelife.com/products/safe-and-seen/buggy-strap

My parents live in a valley and none of us were entirely happy with the pram on the long steep hills so I got one of these so that at least if the pusher trips they'll get dragged down the hill too which will slow the pram down.

MoggyP · 30/10/2018 06:44

Do not, under any circumstances, let your boyfriend disrupt your relationship with your mother.

He over-reacted. Do not let his unreasonable behaviour isolate you from your family.

Janleverton · 30/10/2018 06:46

I’m with agentprovocateur.

Unless there’s a back story involving your mother’s competence at pram pushing, he was being a prat.

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