Have you heard of the notion that people sometimes die at the same age as their same-sex parent? (Fairly light-hearted)

[niska]

I'd never heard of this before, but it turns out my mum died at the same age as her mother - quite an early age: 67. A friend told me it's not unusual. I mentioned it at my evening class, and of seven of us, two others said that, on reflection, their father and grandfather had died at the same age. Other classmates were extremely dismissive of this being a thing.

I'm not looking for an argy-bargy, and I hope no-one will take offence, but I'd be intrigued to know if anyone else has heard of this. Also, if you think about it, has it happened with any of your ancestors?

My dad is currently I think twelve years older than his dad was when he died and my mum still younger than my nana. Thankfully on the whole both sides of my family have longevity and very fortunate to have escaped with very few medical conditions. Dh's paternal grandad died in his 60's and while dh's dad is still alive at 72 he's had dementia for years and it's a miracle he's actually still alive.

My dm is 83 and still going strong, going on 8 mile rambles, so I hope to follow in her footsteps, as it were

Of course some people happen to die at the same age as their parents, but it’s a ridiculous notion that it’s a probability they will do.
As someone who had both parents die relatively young it’s an idea I’m quite sensitive to (one wonderfully sensitive boyfriend actually told me I was a bad breeding prospect because of my parents’ lack of longevity ) but so far my 3 siblings have managed to outlive the ages of my parents’ deaths and I’m hoping to as well. But perhaps I should bump up the life insurance just in case?

There are genetic factors in many illnesses, so there may be a grain of truth to it, but thankfully we know more about lifestyle factors now, so we can improve our chances of living longer.

My gm was 54 when she died. Her first son died at 54. I have to say all during my 54th year l was conscious of that though never mentioned it to anyone.l was sort of relieved on my 55!! My dm( her dd) died at 81 and all the rest of her family are well past 54.

And although my parents both died relatively young all 4 GPs lived to “ripe old ages”.

It’s an idiots myth, and of course it’s going to be annoying/doom and gloom for those of us whose mothers died young.

My grandmother died age 96. Her mother was also 96 when she died.

My mum was 24 when she died.
Her mum was 69 when she died.
I'm 54.
Hopefully I'll see my 70th birthday.

Helmet, I'm sorry to have touched a nerve. My own mother, as I've said, died comparatively early at 67, and I am not far off that age myself.

The way I was told about it was that it was some kind of psychological thing, which therefore can be rationalised and overcome. CormoranStrike's dp is feeling that pressure; perhaps it's just worth thinking about it (if you feel it) and reassuring yourself that it's just a child's fear, not something an adult needs to have hanging over them. In my case, I feel a bit as if I shouldn't "outdo" my mother in terms of longevity. However, I bloody well will make sure I do. I'm not going to give in to it.

My grandfather died in his late sixties, which was lamented as early, his son (my uncle) had ten years less than that, in the end.

My other grandfather died in his early sixties. His son, my uncle, is now four years older than his father was when he died.

My grandmother died in her mid nineties. She outlived all her four children.

My other grandmother lived thirty five years longer than her daughter (my mother).

I I were to die at the same age as my grandmother I would have 50-60 years left to live. As my mother, I’d have less than 20.

It is quite an upsetting thread, to be fair, and not very lighthearted.

No - grandma was in her late 80s and mum was 71. Dad was late 60s and his dad was in this 50s.

My maternal great grandmother was 92 when she died, my maternal grandmother was 81, one maternal great aunt died at 78 but I still have 3 in their eighties, my mum is now 61 & I'll be 40 soon.

Not sure about any link but if there is I've got a good 30/40 years left.

Not many women on my maternal side have reached 50 (my grandmother being the only 1 know of) my own mum died at 49. I can't imagine being older than my mum, in 7 years I guess I will find out - or not!

My husbands father died at 65 as did his father and grandfather.

I hope not - Gran lived to 94, nearly blind nearly deaf and riddled with arthritis and neuralgia. Mum lived to 97, making the best of having lost all her friends to dementia or death, in fear of running out of money for her care home. I plan to go at 85 (although ask me again at 84 ½).

If this was true then we would die in our thirties and forties, like in medieval times. I think it's probably more coincidence.

My gran died at 98, my mum is currently 81 and chronically ill, very frail. No way has she got another 17 years in her.

My grandpa died at 55. My dad died at 78.

Sounds like a myth to me.

My Mum died at 30 and my MH was affected quite a bit worrying I'd die equally young. I'm now 38 so I've clearly outlived her but the anxiety over possibly dying and leaving my young children is still there. My older siblings experienced similar worries.

DH is convinced he's going to die in his mid-fifties from a heart attack. Because his dad, grandad and great-grandad all had heart attacks in their mid-fifties. His dad survived and is still around now in his 70s, but only because he was in hospital already when he had his. DH seems to forget that those relatives all drank and smoked and did very little exercise. DH doesn't smoke or drink very often, and he does exercise, so he's far less likely to die early. He's still convinced he's only got another 5-6 years left though.

It only makes sense if you have a broadly similar lifestyle - smoking, drinking, weight, activity level, diet, clean air, stress, in the case of women number of pregnancies.

Genetics must be one factor, so will play some part in life expectancy.

Same sex siblings rarely all die at the same age though - that would be terrifying, one brother or sister after another knowing in advance when they'd die and being right, all dying at the exact same age...

I also know a fairly large number of very elderly women who have outlived more than one daughter, sadly.

My mum died at at 24. Her mum at 94. I'm currently 49. I'm not going to try to analyse those numbers ...

@TwistedStitch How did you feel when you turned the same age as your mum? I am dreading it.

What a load of crap.