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Original poster

Fanny Gallops

136 replies

bumpsadaisy11 · 26/10/2018 12:45

I just had to share this with you all, as it made me cry with laughter!
Sitting eating lunch with my DH & I asked him if he knew what 'Fanny Gallops' are.
He looked at me with a dead straight face & said ' isn't that a place on Dartmoor!!!!!'
Bless his gorgeous lovely heart 
What are some of the stupidest things that your DH has said to you?

OP posts:
VictoriaBun · 26/10/2018 20:33

My dh
The road service
The table service
'Put it on the service"
Yep, cannot get that their is an actual word - surface .

Cambalamb · 26/10/2018 20:37

St Pancreas! We always say that too but as a joke!

Cambalamb · 26/10/2018 20:41

On the subject of eggs, a friend of mine at work thought that range eggs were free!

PeapodBurgundy · 26/10/2018 20:50

I can't shame DP as he's much smarter than me, but may I shame myself? I have two absolute corkers!

amusedbush · 26/10/2018 21:00

DH and I were talking about US history and he said, ‘there hasn’t always been fifty three states’. ‘Fifty three?’, I asked, puzzled. ‘Fifty five states, then - whatever!’

Confused
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 26/10/2018 21:02

Before we got married, dh and I babysat for some friends, looking after their baby twins. When we were changing their nappies and getting them ready for bed, he asked me, in all seriousness - “Do they wear nappies at night as well?”

In an interesting contrast to the theory of women having only one hole through which they were and have periods, he thought that he had two tubes com8ng down his willy - one for wee, the other for sperm!

carpetrunner · 26/10/2018 21:03

My dh said really loudly in the chemist, I wonder how they know if the cotton wool is organic or not. I mean what difference does it make, perhaps it’s what they feed the sheep that makes all the difference... Hmm

PrincessWire · 26/10/2018 21:23

My DP has a few, I'll have to think. One that springs straight to mind is he always pronounces banal to rhyme with anal. That can be quite embarrassing.

1MillionSelfiesTakenByMyKids · 26/10/2018 21:24

love a good malapropism. There's a couple i use so much that i have to think quite hard to remember what the real word is...

Wauden · 26/10/2018 22:18

I had a boyfriend who told me that when he was younger (ie probably the week before) he had thought that the vagina was on the front of the body. He had thought that because he 'had seen sex in a film'.
He was a virgin, though...

ginandbearit · 26/10/2018 22:32

I used to have a rather fierce and opinionated girlfriend who was convinced 'droll' meant dull and unpleasant ...after she's used it a few times in the wrong context I took a deep breath to suggest it may mean something else...reader she dumped me...

lms2017 · 26/10/2018 23:04

My partner when we was at the beach said to me why do people need to decorate where they sit ? They cant tell where their spot is because they all buy the same colour! ..... he was on about wind breakers never knew thats what they actually was for!.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 26/10/2018 23:06

Not DH but we were talking about wombles the other day and DS age 10 thought they were an adult 'toy'

AlessandroVasectomi · 26/10/2018 23:08

DW has uttered many malapropisms over the years. For example, a fire being the vocal point of a room and tending to ‘air’ on the side of caution, to name but two.

BitOfFun · 27/10/2018 00:26

My old neighbour told me that's she'd had her walls semtexed.

FaithInfinity · 27/10/2018 00:39

I washed my hair at night and then dried and straightened it. DH asked me what the point of straightening it was if I was going to sleep on it, is it not like ironing a shirt and then wearing it to bed?!

We had a teacher at junior school who would go on about giving ‘Pacific’ examples a lot. He was a shouty, unpleasant teacher who liked to lecture us a lot in assemblies. You could tell he thought he sounded clever...actually even 8 year olds knew he was using a malapropism. Years later I was watching TV and he had been nominated for Teacher of the year..and he won! Confused

TheWiseWomansFear · 27/10/2018 01:51

My Chinese mate thought gay men tied their Panisse together to have sex

JellieEllie · 27/10/2018 02:56

My friends husband thought that in order to get pregnant both of them needed to orgasm at the same time so the come could mix together and make a baby.
He doesn't know that I know that. He made his wife to swear never to tell a soul.

mugalug · 27/10/2018 03:34

My best friend thought that the life jackets under the seat on a plane were in fact parachutes!!!!

MarcieBluebell · 27/10/2018 03:37

I didn't know what Fanny Gallops was.

I thought it was a character in an John Cleland novel like Fanny Hill.

MarcieBluebell · 27/10/2018 03:39

Haha some of these are great!

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/10/2018 04:17

I washed my hair at night and then dried and straightened it. DH asked me what the point of straightening it was if I was going to sleep on it, is it not like ironing a shirt and then wearing it to bed?!

Not that daft! For me that would be exactly what would happen :o

My grandma had a few, but I am sure she did it on purpose. She referred to her Dildo Rail a few times and I am 100% certain she did it for giggles! She bloody knew!

Loving the Semtex though!

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/10/2018 04:23

Outing here for anyone who knows me but.......and I have mentioned this on here before, they are both music related.

Having only heard it said and not seen it written down I thought that the guy who co-recorded "Together In Electric Dreams" with Phil Oakey was that famous Irish record producer Georgie O'Moroder.

And, after a conversation with my dad about session musicians appearing with bands on TOTP when the band didnt have (say) a keyboardist or drummer or whatever, that the only man on TOTP to play keyboards for all the bands was called Roland.

Charolais · 27/10/2018 04:49

My husband thought you had to plough up and re-seed the lawn every two years.

My husband is a professional farmer.

Charolais · 27/10/2018 04:57

Another one; my husband believed just the sight of a man's penis made women horny. I told him, "no, it just makes women laugh".

So he told me normal woman get turned on when they see a man naked and I wasn't normal.

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