Why do people comment on my eating habits?

[flower76]

Yesterday I went for dinner with some people from work. I was not able to finish the plate, it was way too much and I would have felt bloated and tired if I had. Two people commented 'oh come on, really? You can finish that!' Etc. I didn't want a dessert for the same reason and there were comments about his too.
A couple of the people were overweight and I would have been slated for saying anything about how much they ate. Why is this acceptable?

I suppose most people can clear a plate, not just fat people, especially in a restaurant where people tend to treat themselves to something out of the ordinary.

I don't think they meant to insult you with your restrained approach to food. They possibly thought you weren't particularly enjoying it.

The majority of people I know finish their plates, so people of all shapes and sizes.
But it is rude to comment on people’s eating habits.

Rude. I have zero sweet tooth and the amount of people moaning when I don’t order a pudding is crazy (especially since I’m a tiny bit overweight so it’s not like they think I’m underfed ) Personally I’d always finish my main if I could but I hate the idea of not getting my money’s worth when eating out!

I think people feel greedy eating their whole plate and ordering dessert when you haven’t, but that’s their issue to resolve.

It’s really rude. Absolutely none of their business.

Were they really commenting on your eating habits though, or just surprised that on this one occasion you'd bought and paid for food that was going to waste?

I know thinking has changed and we teach our children differently now, but the vast majority of people I know were brought up to clear their plate and to abhor food waste, so seeing half a plateful go to waste is something to remark on, but it's not an assessment of your eating habits.

It sounds like throw away chitchat in a social occasion. I don't understand thinking about what they said for more than 5 seconds.
Is your BMI < 19?

I often find that portion sizees when eating out are just way too large these days. If my meal has chips with it I very rarely finish them as I prefer the rest of the meal. Unless it was a small salad that you were eating I wouldn't think it odd that you couldn't finish your meal. And if it was a salad I still wouldn't say anything, but I might wonder if you weren't enjoying it.

Tends to be the done thing at group meals, irritates me intensely!

The plate of food was huge! I wish I had a photo. I don't feel the need to overeat to make sure I don't waste food and I know that I would feel ill if I had done.
I just think it should be more socially acceptable to stop when you're full if this is what we are teaching our children.

I am not underweight and I can easily finish off a normal meal.

I've a friend who I know thinks I'm being passive aggressive if I don't clear my plate (I never order pudding as I've not got a sweet tooth). She always finishes hers and has pudding. I could not give a shiny shite about her eating and wish she wouldn't comment on mine.

It really doesn't matter. It's just something people say when you've paid for food.

I suppose if there are quite a few people at a table and only one person didn't finish their food it would be notable. Maybe they thought you hadn't enjoyed your meal? My dad will sometimes leave quite a lot of a normal sized meal and it usually means his chronic condition is giving him pain.

X posted with you there op. If the meal was really so huge amd there was a few of you there then surely you weren't the only one who couldn't completely finish it?

I've had comments. I stop when my tummy is happy (as I say to my DCs). If there are two mouthfuls left, I see no point in forcing them down for the sake of it and making the difference between comfortably sated and uncomfortably bloated.

It wound up my mother in particular... I've always maintained a healthy weight and she hasn't despite a varied fairly balanced diet, it's the portion sizes that get her.

Our culture isn't very accomodating to moderation and people who find self-moderation a challenge can feel insecure to those who can.

I don't think they were commenting on your eating habits. More commenting you didn't finish a restaurant meal. It's a very different thing.

However as it's a big deal to you maybe if someone comments in future just respond with please don't comment it upsets me.

That's why most places will put it in a box for you to take home, if you fancy it cold or warmed up

I never finish a plate of dinner when I'm out usually- it's nearly always too much. I think forcing yourself to eat food you don't want is ridiculous and I've learnt to eat as much as I want and then stop. Commenting on it is rude. I'm not thin btw just learnt a long time ago to stop when I'm full after a childhood of being told to clear my plate.

Why do you care?

I don’t eat a huge amount and I get comments, just ignore them.

People have no class.

My Mum never finishes a plate of food and always comments on the portion size/how she can't manage a dessert or starter etc. She is doing it pointedly though so we all marvel in how beautifully slim she is and make a mental note about how she keeps that figure. If you're not commenting on it or doing it pointedly, I don't see the problem!

I never finish a restaurant meal nor a cup of coffee. I’ve paid for it so it’s my business. I don’t find people comment fortunately although I tend to go out with the same people so they are probably used to it.

Portion sizes in many places irritate me as I hate waste but there’s just too much food.

I avoid places where I know I will be overfaced.

The thing is that I was made to feel a bit like I was ruining it for them.
I was able to drink them all under the table afterwards though, drink doesn't make me feel full and uncomfortable 

I might have commented similarly because...
a) I'm tight and if I've paid for a restaurant meal I'm eating it all or having it wrapped in foil to take home unless it wasn't pleasant in which case I'd have complained appropriately
b) I'm still not over the "don't waste food" mantra of my childhood. My parents literally went without to provide for my siblings and I. The feeling of guilt for not finishing a plate is really ingrained and very hard to shake off.

It's less a commentary on your eating habits and more a commentary on the waste of food. If there's a drip feed on the way where your colleagues critique your eating habits often then that would be rude but a snapshot of a restaurant meal I really don't think there's anything to be offended by.

As an aside...well done for mentioning they were overweight so you could get the sympathetic comments stating they were projecting their food insecurities onto you rather than just being surprised that someone was willing to waste money and food so glibly.