Do you know what pisses me off about parents evenings?

[BretonStripe]

My eldest child is in YR3, youngest in Reception. So just worked out dh and I have attended eight parents evenings so far (two per academic year).

Had ds1's tonight and got told he's working at greater depth, he's polite, works hard, contributes well etc I thanked his teachers for all their hard work...they smiled and nodded appreciation...but failed to thank us? We work hard at raising polite children, who are always on time to school with breakfast inside them, eager and willing to learn. We read with/to them every night, and help them with their homework.

Do teachers generally not credit parents for anything? Is it normal for them not to say something along the lines of "thanks for all you do too?".

Very funny, RebelWitchFace
Hmm, let's see,the only reason she has a job is because she trained for four years, got her degree, gave a good interview, got a teaching job and since then has worked hard at it.

Wow. 😳 As others have mentioned, I'm definitely reminded of the Chris Rock sketch!

But if it makes you happy, if your child is being praised, generally you can infer you've done a fairly good job of raising them.

@MistressoftheYoniverse and @RebelWitchFace (and a few others) thank you so much! You get where I'm coming from! My children started school able to toilet themselves, dress and undress, use a fork, say please and thank you etc Yes it's basic parenting but must make the teacher's job that much easier.

I am eternally grateful for all of the staff who have helped my kids so far. I write thank you cards, and give gifts at Christmas and the end of summer term. I am always very polite and thank them when they've spoken to me. I put my name down to help out at every school trip, have been on a few, been a very active member of the PTA for three years, organise the discos and raffles etc etc I try to make their jobs easier if I can.

Whoever said this was easy eh?! Oh, and I refuse to get sucked into the whole "parenting is a thankless task" ethos. My husband and children thank me for things I do on an almost daily basis (the kids always say "thank you for dinner Mummy").

I got thanked by one of my kids' teachers today! DD1 and a classmate had been up to something that basically was a really fucking stupid idea, and of course school had had to step in and stop this stupid idea and gently (and completely appropriately discipline them in terms of explaining why this was a really stupid idea). One half of the equation's gone home crying at being told off and mum is raging and going in to the Head tomorrow to complain about how the teacher's made her child cry... I just backed the school up about their explanation for the stupidity of the idea with mine (DD1's comment was "X isn't very used to being told off so she got upset, I'm always being told off so I'm used to it") and got a thank you from the poor frazzled teacher who's probably dreading tomorrow morning!

I get a lot of thanks from the school - but it's for doing things above and beyond like volunteering, PTA and stuff... would never expect it for basically trying to raise my kids like civilised human beings! (I also thank the school a lot because they really do go the extra mile for the kids... and bring in cake for the staff)

You haven't done any of that basic parenting stuff for the teacher though, have you You did it for your child.

@PunkrockerGirl59 nice work jumping to massive conclusions about how I am at a parents evening. I am just normal, punctual, nice, smiley, polite and listen intently. Just because I unwisely chose to ask a question on an anonymous parenting site doesn't make me a monster ffs

Hahaha I am laughing so hard at your post OP! Why on earth would a teacher thank you for having a child that behaves in a normal manner! My tummy hurts so much From laughing. This cannot be real!

Ok. This can't be real. Op you must be able to tell rebelbitchface is taking rhe piss. You can't actually think she's serious? 😱

@Bluntness100 ahem...I'm a witch not a bitch(much).

I Don't expect thanks from a swimming teacher for sending my child in an appropriate costume and with their swimming hat and getting them to the lesson on time, or the dance teacher for doing my child's hair in a bun and ensuring she has the correct dance attire.

Being told your child is a joy to teach and is doing well is great but I wouldn't expect thanks for it.

Oh god sorry rebel 🤣🤣🤣

This is so weird! It sounds like you resent all this work you put in? I don't get it at all. If a teacher thanked me for the things you mentioned I'd be paranoid wondering if they thought I was the type who wouldn't look after my kids properly! It's really the least you can do providing basic needs? The PTA stuff is voluntary, just stop if it's too much!

OMG, no no. Just no.

See, our boy’s teacher loves us at Parents eve, we think she’s awesome. Positive about our son (yr 2), she’s happy to teach him! He is bright, quick, willing to learn and kind. In short, he’s a lovely lad and enjoys school lots.

That is all the thanks I want or need, tyvm! Any more would seem weird in a sort of sycophantic way. If a teacher thanked me for what the OP states, I’d actually wonder whether she thought something was wrong, as these things are just to me part of parenting?!

Thank you for not laying your eggs in the sand and waddling out to sea ...

Is that better OP?

and what's wrong with the odd pat on the back? so thank DH and he you

I was merely asking if it was normal for teachers not to give parents any credit for anything they do outside of school
Well there's a difference between not giving you any credit and them feeling the need to explicitly thank you.
Unless they've said "well little Johnny has done a marvelous job outside of school doing his reading because he said you're shit" then I don't think it counts

At parents' evenings our teachers often say "keep doing what you're doing at home" or similar, and it does sound as though many teachers say the same. They don't ever say thank you as such and tbh I'd be pissed off if they did: I don't read with my DC or take them on relevant outings for the teachers' sake. It is sad that there are kids at school who don't have the same basic opportunities and support as your DC but that's because their parents (or, more likely at our school, the wider system - poverty, DV and chaotic housing set ups etc) are failing them, not because you're doing anything extraordinary.

Parenting is thankless. I took my parents for granted in that I loved them but always vaguely assumed they'd be supportive, there for big life events and kind and loving. I really hope my DC take my love and respect (note: that doesn't mean I'll like to them or back up poor choices) for granted too - it's unconditional, after all.

Wow, that was not what I was expecting when I opened the thread!

To be fair, as a teacher I will occasionally say something like 'your child is a credit to you' but this is usually in families where they have been through a difficult time. Families who give their kid breakfast and read with them.... Not so much!

I don't understand why you would want thanks from the teacher, like really, who cares what a teacher who they are going to have for one year of their lives, thinks?

I agree with the PP who said that any sort of 'thanks' in that context would be combined with an unspoken 'unlike all the other crappy parents in my class'. Did you just want to feel superior, because you are an average to good parent?

I get annoyed that car drivers don't stop to thank me for teaching my kids to cross the road safely, after all it must make their journeys faster and easier?

You know, my children are so amazing that I found it ridiculous that the hall of teachers didn't stand up and applaud to acknowledge our arrival.

Okay, maybe not.

Positive about our son (yr 2), she’s happy to teach him! He is bright, quick, willing to learn and kind. In short, he’s a lovely lad and enjoys school lots.

Yes, if there is a particularly lovely child/family I enthusiastically will tell them how great the child is in class etc etc. I can't imagine saying 'thank you for doing such a great job of raising them', I would feel like a right bellend saying that!

I just snorted tea through my nose.

If a teacher thanked me for the things you mentioned I'd be paranoid wondering if they thought I was the type who wouldn't look after my kids properly!

I actually did that. The TA wrote something in DD's diary that was so normal to me/us that I thought she was being passive aggressive and implying I'm maybe not doing enough, as well as wondering if DD is struggling and we should be doing more.

Now that was a fun one to work out,with both me and the TA mortified.🙈

I definitely don't think I'm doing anything extraordinary.

Definitely don't want to feel superior.

Leaving the thread now, hope you all had a good giggle/enjoyed poking fun of me.

I agree to a certain extent, teachers are quick to point out failed parenting orcomplain about difficult little shits children.

Don’t see anything wrong with saying “no thank you Mum”

but failed to thank us?

😂😂