Recovering anorexic, do I look ill?

[averageisgood]

I have been diagnosed as anorexic since my teens and am now approaching 50. I'm exhausted by the hold it has had on my life, and I'm desperate to recover.
At the moment I'm eating two good meals (for me) a day, but I eat alone and still can't cope eating with other people beyond a coffee or tea. I'm 5ft 6 and weigh 57kg. The thought of being any heavier makes me panic, and if I'm honest, I'd like to lose a couple of kg, but I don't want to lose control. I'm battling with my perceptions, iand have no clear idea of the reality of how I look. For eg, I can see in this pic of me that I look thin, but I consider my thighs to be fat.

Love, you don't have a scrap of fat on you!

:( You poor thing.

You look very very slims and imo need to put a few lbs on, not off, though I understand you won't see this.

Are you still under any care for your eating disorder? Can you speak to your GP?

You’re gorgeous: you’re clearly making great progress with your Desmond, are you getting any professional support? Wish you well. One of my best friends was anorexic to about 30, she comments now how alive she feels and so much more energy! She knows she is now well because if her feelings about a photo of her old self, which would have been aspiration at one time and is now shock.

What do you mean by ill? You don't mean fat do you?

You've done really well on your progress and no of course you don't look overweight. You look fine.

This might be not the best place to post a pic as you may get some odd comments (honestly MN can be strange at times), please don't fret about your thighs. Have you had your BMI measured? Blood checked?

You look very slim and that's even with all those layers on. I think the giveaway is your wrists, they look tiny. Your thighs aren't fat at all btw. I wish you well in your recovery , you've done great to get this far.

OP I'm a recovered anorexic and also 5.6 I'm aged 46 so not far off your age.

You look too thin. You've got the look of verging on illness. Can you see someone? Get some more help?

You have to decide if you want to die.

Or if you want to live.

It’s entirely up to you what you decide.

If you don’t eat, you will digest your internal organs and your muscles and you will die. Your body will break itself down and you will eat yourself.

If you want to live you must nourish your body and mind with protein, carbs, fats, fibre, vitamins, water, and love.

You’re good enough you know.
Choose life.

I agree your wrists and legs look tiny, and your thighs are perfect, if a bit small. Personally I think you'd look healthier if you gained a little more weight.

Your too slim.
Try to gain weight. Remember anorexia distorts your perception of your body.
Listen to UserHistory.

Dander

Dancer!!!

Oh I did wonder what a dander was!!

What is your BMI OP? I'm not sure this is the best place to ask advice for this. Honestly you look far too thin to me. Are you still being seen for your ED? If not, please speak to your GP rather than strangers on the internet

Oh lovely, I’m sorry you’re feeling down
I’ve had an ED as a teen and was lucky to make a full recovery pretty much but I get that it’s hard.
You don’t look fat, you look teeny, if you put on a stone you’d probably still look teeny. But that doesn’t help when you see and feel the way you do.
Do you have any IRL support, community mh or ed services nearby, or could you give b eat a call.
Good luck on your journey strong and beautiful lady

Also I second the PPs who suggest talking to GP and HCPs instead of us, we can do a lot but online healthcare advice probably isn’t within our remit 🧡

Your thighs are absolutely not fat. If anything it’s the opposite. You certainly don’t need to lose weight. I agree with what other posters have said re speaking to your GP. All the best.

I don't think posting pics of yourself to ask for strangers opinions on your body is a good idea for anyone but especially someone who has, or is in recovery from, an eating disorder. The internet is full of all kinds of unpleasant people who type right alongside the nice and reasonable ones.

I just don't think it'll be helpful.

I haven't opened the pic so can't comment on that. Be kinder to yourself.

Absolutely not getting at you btw. I can understand why you would want to start a thread like this but I don't think you'll get what you need from it.

Hi @averageisgood - I think you should make an appointment with your r counsellor or GP etc if you feel things are slipping. Great that you're eating, keep that up because it's so very important to keep your body healthy, it needs fuel, just like a car,

You do look very slim, I can't see why you think your thighs need to be smaller, i think putting on a little weight would make you look healthier and losing weight I think would not.
Good luck and it's really good to hear you're able to eat regularly. Keep yourself healthy, for that your body needs food/fuel

You look far too thin and very fragile. If you were my friend I would be very worried for you as I don’t think you look healthy at all. I really hope you are getting the help you need.

HI, OP. I’m not going to pretend to know or give you any advice about anerexia.

It’s hard to tell an awful lot from your pic, given your entire top half, including your arms, are covered. However, from what I can see, you look thin but not "anorexic thin" if you know what I mean. You do not need to loose any more muscle mass on your legs (and they’re certainly not fat!)!

My concern would be about energy levels. We had a gluten intolerant vegan living with us for 3 months this year. She was 5ft 6 and a little under 50 kgs. She could do in a day what we could do in an hour. She was constantly astonished by all that we could accomplish. While we worried if she'd be capable of putting washing on the line.

She had no periods and her gums were clearly having issues. Lovely lady though.

Are you bouncing through life full of vitality? If not what might help you get there?

Hi all. We've had a few reports from Mumsnetters concerned about this thread. While we're constantly amazed by some of the excellent advice and support offered on Mumsnet, there's really no substitute for getting proper health advice from a professional.

We'll be taking the picture down but keeping the thread open for now.

Meanwhile, there's a list of places to get help and support on the BeatEatingDisorders.org.uk site.
And there is a page of advice and information about anorexia on the NHS pages.

Hope this is helpful OP. And very best wishes to you.

If you are concerned, you need to speak to your GP for professional advice. In my experience, eating disorders rarely go away completely. You just learn to manage your condition. You will never get the answer you want, which is probably that you need to lose weight, whilst in reality you most likely need to put weight on.