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Original poster

Join the night owls for chat, all welcome.

993 replies

Mummylin · 11/10/2018 12:00

Thanks for reminder Becca rushes to get first pick of comfy sheltered branch !!!
Settles in with fleecy blankets etc !

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Original poster
Mummylin · 06/03/2019 23:47

My god Fatty. No bloody wonder you are depressed. Your dh needs to get himself sorted out, so he really expects you to work all those hours and then come home to do housework ! He needs to shape up, I would be livid. What does he actually do ?

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HerRoyalFattyness · 09/03/2019 10:13

Went absolutely apeshit at DP.
He's now saying he's depressed... shocking.
I was waiting for this. Every time i pull him on his bullshit its down to his depression.
Im not denying he has depression, but for fucks sake, it never bothers him unless hes been told to not be a dick

Original poster
Mummylin · 09/03/2019 10:44

And what about your depression Fatty. ? You still manage to function and doing much more, he is doing sod all. He needs to ship up or ship out. I thought the reason he initially came back was to help you so you could do your nursery training etc and provide childcare.Seems he isn't keeping to his side of the arrangement at all. Are you having to cook for him when you get home ?

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HerRoyalFattyness · 09/03/2019 10:48

That was the arrangement.
I don't cook for him. I refuse to. I take care of me and the kids, thats it.

Original poster
Mummylin · 09/03/2019 11:28

Do take care of yourself Fatty without you it seems your family would fall to bits. But in order to function, you need to be well. It's different if you have no one else, but you do but he isn't contributing and making more work for you. Not a fair division really is it !

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PinkHeart5914 · 10/03/2019 00:06

Evening >>

Where is my Becca owl?

Fatty Take care of yourself and the dc. Ok maybe your dp is depressed too but when you've got dc certain things like cleaning the house, cooking children's dinner etc have to be done so you just get on with it because as a parent what else can you do. Depression is also not a get out of jail free card every time you get pulled up on not pulling your weight.
If he can't cope as a stay at home parent then maybe he needs to look for a job and be the one working.
If you do everything what is the point in being in the relationship, I'd be livid if dh acted this way

HerRoyalFattyness · 10/03/2019 00:11

pink he also can't cope working. He only ever managed a year or so in each job he had. Half of them only part time.
He's just lazy and thinks the world owes him something.

PinkHeart5914 · 10/03/2019 00:42

Honestly I think LTB is the only advice here, I know it's not quite that simple if only it was as sounds like your be better off.

What does he do to tackle this depression?

You don't have the option of drowning, you have to cope and go to work every day to feed and house your dc so him being a lazy sod isn't an option. His a grown man, a parent so he just needs to adult up and get on with it even his his dying inside parenting still needs to be done

Becca19962014 · 10/03/2019 10:02

I'm here behind the sofa.
Struggling with diabetes which is a mess right now (no idea why) and mental health.

Original poster
Mummylin · 10/03/2019 13:27

I completely agree with Pink Fatty He is meant to be in a partnership with you, not You doing 95% and him just doing stuff @ 5% . The more he can away with it he will. Don't enable him to do this. You cannot do everything, I would be mad as fuck if I had been expected to do it all when I had young kids and worked. It's not surprising you are depressed. 💐

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HerRoyalFattyness · 10/03/2019 14:20

Honestly, if it was as simple as leaving him he'd be gone, but i can't afford childcare so i need him to watch them so i can work.

So i am now just taking care of me and the kids. He is a glorified babysitter. Nothing more.

Original poster
Mummylin · 11/03/2019 15:43

I hope things can work out fury you Fatty try giving him a list each day ( like a child ! ) and tell him these things must be done before you get home and you also expect the dinner to be cooked it at least ready to be cooked. Good luck 💐

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HerRoyalFattyness · 11/03/2019 18:18

Oh he has a laminated list that he can tick off each job as its done.
He ignores it Hmm

Original poster
Mummylin · 11/03/2019 20:07

List is out then ! Can't think of anything else useful. Maybe just the brutal truth, that if he dosent shape up he will be out ! It's just not fair on you Fatty.

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HerRoyalFattyness · 11/03/2019 20:20

I came home from work and basically watched over him and dictated what jobs he needed to do.
I then folded and put away the washing and told him i wasn't going to discipline DS1 for being rude to him as he is his dad and he can deal with it himself.
Grin
So i made him clean and parent today.

Original poster
Mummylin · 11/03/2019 20:46

Good for you Fatty. But it shouldn't be like that should it, he is a man ( supposed to be). But whatever , I hope you can sort it so you get more help and he can become more supportive to you. You are a brick to put up with so much.

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LifeCasting · 12/03/2019 02:51

Hello!
Are any night owls up? I am kind of new to the thread & could use some support... you were very kind the other night. Hope everyone is well.

LifeCasting · 12/03/2019 02:57

Fatty you were so kind to me the other night. Thank you. Sorry for what you are going through. It sounds horrendous. Difficult man.

Original poster
Mummylin · 12/03/2019 07:19

Sorry no-one was here life , it's not often we are on here at that time , but it does happen sometimes. You can always leave a post and we will get back to you later.

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HerRoyalFattyness · 12/03/2019 08:18

Sorry life i was actually sleeping for a change!
Is there anything we can help with? Im on my way to work but will be back on later.

LifeCasting · 12/03/2019 08:55

Aww thank you both for coming back. I have a thread & managed to keep it active. Got me through! Glad someone was sleeping, at least!
Flowers to you both. Thank you for caring.

HerRoyalFattyness · 12/03/2019 20:55

Flowers life
We always try to help.
Ive kind of adopted lin as my mumsnet mum. I know if i have a problem i can come and moan here and lin will be around at some point to support me.
That means becca is my auntie becca and pink will have to be my sister Wink
You're welcome to join the family life Grin

LifeCasting · 12/03/2019 21:12

What a sweet message and s wonderful invitation! I’m kind of new to these parts (this thread) and I’m not sure what I can offer, but thank you for making me feel welcome! Flowers

Original poster
Mummylin · 12/03/2019 22:37

I'm just clearing some room for my extra Mother's Day flowers 😂😂
We are sometimes very sporadic here life we just pop on and off all the time. We used to really chat at night quite a lot, but then started posting in the day. There aren't many of us now, but we used to have a few more people. But we don't mind that. We get the occasional visitor.
And we can go off mid conversation some time ! We get tired or are busy and off we trot without telling anyone. That's how we are.
How has today gone Fatty? Any progress ?

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LifeCasting · 13/03/2019 04:03

I remember you all from before, Mummylin. So nice to post somewhere with low expectations re checking in/out!
Awww it’s your first Mother’s Day? Sorry if I missed this!