SIL walked out because of MIL

[Moneydoesntgrowontrees]

SIL has turned up at our house in a state because MIL crossed boundaries yet again (let herself into her house while SIL and BIL were at work). Her family don’t live near and anyway she needs to go to work tomorrow, so she came to us.

She knows I have the same problems with MIL (we’re married to brothers, MIL’s sons) but my DH is understanding and refuses to let MIL have a key. BIL lets his mother do anything she wants for an easy life.

Except it isn’t easy anymore because SIL has walked out.

DH not in from work yet. It’s going to hit the fan when BIL/MIL finds out SIL is here. She’s really in a state, says she’s leaving BIL (no children).

Any advice?

Gird your loins - at least you can foresee it and act accordingly if he does start being in contact more frequently

You have my sympathy - I have a dh like that too!

I too think the SIL is right to walk away. She has been shown how little regard there is for her by her 'D'H and MIL and she is done. Who can blame her? My DH shows he cares with the "Are you OK?' and the "Can I get you anything while I'm up?" stuff. If he's longer coming home that I expect I get all spidery until he shows his face but he will usually text. Same in reverse. If he's expecting me and I get chatting to someone I will text him or ring him for ten seconds to say I am going to be 20 minutes etc. For BIL to not notice and then when he notices but doesn't mention it's like a slap in the face for her. I bet she's wondering why she stuck it for so long.

Maybe she too will enjoy a mil - free life?
It's bloody blissful ime!!

He doesn't care much does he? By now the bil In normal marriages would At least trying to talk / text about it.

How shit for her. Your bil and mil deserve eachother.

notapizzaeater I think it’s a stand off because she went back last time. I bet if BIL knew she’d been here, and that DH knows all about it, he’d be horrified. He’s very much a sweep it under the rug don’t talk about it person, as is MIL.

Bloody hell, it annoys me when my own mother lets herself into my house when I'm home, I'd be livid if my MIL did it when I was out!

I don't think your BIL wanted company. I think he was trying to see if your OH knew about his stbx?w.

Lweji Maybe. It will probably be out in the open via MIL over the weekend if MIL goes to BIL’s and sees SIL isn’t there.

I’m saying little/nothing and will advise DH to say the same.

We have been summoned to MIL’s tomorrow. Relative is visiting and she wants us to go for lunch. DH wants to see relative so we’ll go. I await SIL’s no show with interest.

Maybe bil won't go, he can avoid any awkward questions then.

SomeKnobend Yes, maybe. And maybe he’ll begin to squirm a bit.

Haven’t heard from SIL so don't know if he has decided to take any notice yet. I was going to text her about tomorrow and then thought she doesn’t need to know. This is not her circus anymore.

Text her anyway and ask how she's feeling and if you can do anything for her while she's away

GreenTulips I will
Thank you

I think you and your sil have handled the mil situation brilliantly.. and good luck tomorrow for the summoning

Purpleneonpinkunicorns

Thank you. I plan to take wine

Maybe some popcorn as well. Even if a microwave pack that you can fit in your bag.

How did it go OP? Really hope your SIL is safe and far away from this mess.

Hope dinner was OK.

Hope everything went okay - your SIL is so lucky to have you

Hope your Sunday isn't to stressful.

Dying to know how dinner went... did SIL go? Is she still with BIL? If not, what BS is the family spreading?

How did it go op? Did you need a few bottles of wine to survive the summoning lol and have you heard from your sil?

I don't think we'll be getting an update but l hope all is ok for your SIL @Moneydoesntgrowontrees