Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Do you judge people who have had sex with a lot of people?

89 replies

abacucat · 09/10/2018 13:54

Please be honest.
How much would it have to be for you to judge negatively?
And does it make a difference to your judgement if it is a man or woman who has had sex with a lot of people?

OP posts:
Mrskeats · 09/10/2018 15:11

No it’s none of my business is it?

NotANotMan · 09/10/2018 15:12

Strange to pity people for having lots of fun Confused

Goingcrazyah · 09/10/2018 15:14

My younger cousin by 3 years I judge- shes 24 and has slept with over 30 people, but she knows i judge her as i tell her

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 09/10/2018 15:14

Sleeping with only one person your whole life doesn't somehow make you morally superior to someone who's slept with 500; just a lot less experienced.

Enb76 No, it doesn’t make anyone morally superior.

But actually I think it would make them a lot more experienced sexually. They’re much more likely to have gone down several different sexual paths and tried different kinks within a secure and trustworthy relationship than people who’ve had a string of ONS of vanilla sex.

NorthernRunner · 09/10/2018 15:15

I think I do to be honest, although wish I wouldn’t. I only care if it’s a potential partner for me though, if a friend tells me they have slept with x amount of people that’s up to them and I don’t bat an eye lid but if it was someone I was going to be with, I know that I have made private mental judgements and I shouldn’t really.

SerenDippyEggs · 09/10/2018 15:20

Definitely not - as long as it's all consensual and clean, go wild Grin

vampirethriller · 09/10/2018 15:20

No. Why would I know anyway? I don't tend to ask!

Bluntness100 · 09/10/2018 15:26

Bluntness It is the kind of thing that sometimes gets talked about between good friends

Yes I do judge when it get into the hundreds. With women I would assume it is to do with low self esteem or traumatic childhoods though

So you have a good friend whose slept with hundreds of men due to poor mental health and you negatively judge them?

Seriously,? Is that what you're trying to tell us?

Bluntness100 · 09/10/2018 15:29

than people who’ve had a string of ONS of vanilla sex

Why would you think one night stands are vanilla sex? Or that people only experiment in secure long term relationships?

This is the thread that just keeps on giving.

BrightonGallery7 · 09/10/2018 15:35

Definitely. I think it is unsavoury to have behaved in that way.

BrightonGallery7 · 09/10/2018 15:36

Clean?!?! It is not clean in a metaphorical sense. Lol

NotANotMan · 09/10/2018 15:38

Most of my sexual partners have been casual relationships/FWBs not one night stands.

PortiaCastis · 09/10/2018 15:39

Nope, who am I to judge others, what they do sexually is none of my business.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 09/10/2018 15:42

Unsavoury 😂

Bluntness100 · 09/10/2018 15:47

Unsavoury.

This thread deserves classics for that alone 🤣

PortiaCastis · 09/10/2018 15:51

Grin I just googled unsavoury and google says unpleasant to taste or smell hmm

BobbinThreadbare123 · 09/10/2018 15:53

I would wonder how someone had the time....

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 09/10/2018 15:54

Could not care less to be honest.

If a potential future partner had slept with numerous people my only concern would be if they had practiced safe sex and that there was no infidelity.

BusterTheBulldog · 09/10/2018 15:54

Nope! Maybe envy a little?

abacucat · 09/10/2018 15:57

You don't have to have sex with hundreds of people to think there is no such thing as the one, or that you can have sex without love.
But I do think sex is about intimacy as well as fun.

OP posts:
OneNightTimeMenaceStrikesBack · 09/10/2018 15:58

no, because it's none of my business. My only concern now would be that the partner i have is faithful. what they've done before they met me is entirely their own business and what i may or may not have done before them is my business. I don't judge whether it's a man or a woman who might be talking about their past sex life. I would only ever be concerned if they said they'd been bullied/forced/coerced into any of it, as long as everything was between consenting adults who presumably enjoyed themselves, i couldn't give less of a shit tbh

badgeronabicycle · 09/10/2018 16:00

What Surfinbird said.

Haireverywhere · 09/10/2018 16:03

I do judge people who have had unprotected sex without going to get tested first if I'm honest. And those ignorant of how STDs spread - I had roommates at university who thought if they only went to a posh bar everyone would be clean Confused

But if someone is safe and consenting and not hurting someone else (infidelity) then although I have never had casual sex I wouldn't judge just because they make different decisions to me about sex outside marriage and have therefore slept with a few more people.

Badwifey · 09/10/2018 16:03

I judge one of the girls I grew up with. Tbf though she only seems to want someone else's man. She's a tramp of the highest order and I no longer speak to her after she went after her best friends (also my friend) husband.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 09/10/2018 16:04

I have a high number of sexual partners. I was quite reckless and not in a great place mentally. I'm married now and prefer intimacy with one man.
I think if someone was putting it about that easily and had gone with hundreds of people, then yes I would judge as I would think they maybe had problems making connections with people and were emotionally unavailable.