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Original poster

Wedding “Save The Date’s”

60 replies

IsTheRainEverComingBack · 07/10/2018 20:11

How early should I send these out? We’re getting married in June 2020, so a long way off yet, but I know people often book things pretty well in advance so want to send them early enough but not stupidly so.

OP posts:
Bobbiepin · 07/10/2018 20:12

6 months before

TulipsInBloom1 · 07/10/2018 20:12

Id say no earlier than 12 months prior. Probably more like 8m. Invites 4m.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 07/10/2018 20:15

If it’s definitely definite I’d start letting people know now. We’ve booked several holidays next summer and it would be unlikely we could go to a wedding summer 2019 now.

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mrss2018 · 07/10/2018 20:15

Put them in Christmas cards- we got married this summer and send them out with ours last year x

TeenTimesTwo · 07/10/2018 20:16

Only send them to people who you really want there and you are definitely going to invite.
It would be very rude to ask to save the date and then decide your budget didn't extend far enough to invite them.

That said, 6 months wouldn't be enough as people often book summer holidays in Sept.

Our whole engagement was only 6 months, if people couldn't come, then they couldn't come.

Mummyh2016 · 07/10/2018 20:16

I sent mine 12 months before.

LeGrandeFluff · 07/10/2018 20:17

I have a save the date for summer 2020. It's good to know we're invited and to be able to plan holidays around it. So as early as you want.

meditrina · 07/10/2018 20:24

As they're only meant to be sent to your nearest and dearest, whose absence you'd really regret, I'd skip the STDs and just tell them the date next time you're in touch with them. It could be this year's Christmas cards, but as you're likely to be speaking/emailing anyhow, just tell them before that

DelurkingAJ · 07/10/2018 20:29

Also depends where people are coming from. We had people coming from abroad who needed to either save or book fares...so we sent them instantly, 18 months beforehand...people were either actively pleased or not so rude as to tell us off for an etiquette breach when we were trying to be helpful!

Original poster
IsTheRainEverComingBack · 07/10/2018 20:30

I’m certainly only sending them to people who will definitely get invites. We’re lucky to have big families and many friends who we want to be there, so want to give plenty of notice. Maybe Feb/March next year? So a bit more than anyears notice.

OP posts:
Original poster
IsTheRainEverComingBack · 07/10/2018 20:31

We’ve told our parents/siblings/closest friends already as we’ve booked the date

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greendale17 · 07/10/2018 20:31

I sent them 12 months before. Everyone liked that they had plenty of notice

TruelyTruelyScrumptious · 07/10/2018 20:32

Honestly don't bother.

People will either be able to come or not- getting a card makes no difference at all.

Original poster
IsTheRainEverComingBack · 07/10/2018 20:39

Well I’ve plenty of friends who if they let met know they were getting married I wouldn’t book a holiday at that time. I’m sure that’s not unusual.

OP posts:
Tinkeytonkoldfruit · 07/10/2018 20:42

I'm getting married July next year - we sent ours out in Aug this year, invites will go out in March.

Sparklyfee · 07/10/2018 20:44

I don't like save the dates but if you are definitely sending them and think your guests won't feel pressured then at least 12 months in advance due to booking leave/flights going on sale etc

SausageOnAFork · 07/10/2018 20:44

People will either be able to come or not- getting a card makes no difference at all.

Nonsense. Knowing the date of a wedding will govern when I book a holiday.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 07/10/2018 20:57

Me too, sausage. It’s well worth giving lots of notice imo. I would make attending a wedding a priority over pretty much anything else if I know about it.

llangennith · 07/10/2018 21:11

Can I ask that when you send out Date the Date cards, if you're not inviting children to the wedding please make it clear from the start?
When my niece got married my DGC were very excited and when the Wedding Invitations came much later they were addressed to the adults only. Still didn't specify 'no children' and I had to phone my sister to clarify. She was very embarrassed that my niece hadn't made it clear from the start.
Obviously some of the DGC were disappointed but the bigger problem was arranging childcare. I ended up going to the church then taking all the children home and missing the reception.

Original poster
IsTheRainEverComingBack · 07/10/2018 21:15

We’re inviting all children, but saying if you decide not to bring them please let us know so we can adjust numbers for seats and food.

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Sparklyfee · 07/10/2018 21:16

But for some guests they will miss their family holiday because they feel like the save the date means they can't book one.

It's like calendar top trumps. I don't like it. If anyone can't come they can't come. It's not personal.

And yes to being clear if you are having a child free wedding!

Original poster
IsTheRainEverComingBack · 07/10/2018 21:17

A wedding without sugar crazed children running amock is not a wedding to me! We’re also hiring some play stuff for the kids (wedding on private land)

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Original poster
IsTheRainEverComingBack · 07/10/2018 21:18

Yes of course. One reason we’re not having it during any school holidays (I’m from a family of teachers, I know the drill)

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Original poster
IsTheRainEverComingBack · 07/10/2018 21:19

If anyone would rather book their holiday then that’s absolutely fine, but if it were me I’d like to know with a good amount of notice if it’s a wedding I’d want to attend

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Sparklyfee · 07/10/2018 21:38

Yes, sounds like your guests might like to know. No harm then in putting them in with the Xmas cards this year then. As long as they know they won't be vilified if they choose not to attend!