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Original poster

Wedding “Save The Date’s”

60 replies

IsTheRainEverComingBack · 07/10/2018 20:11

How early should I send these out? We’re getting married in June 2020, so a long way off yet, but I know people often book things pretty well in advance so want to send them early enough but not stupidly so.

OP posts:
MsSquiz · 07/10/2018 21:44

We sent ours a year before, as we were getting married on July 1st, so busy time for holidays. It also meant our invitations weren't sent out until 4 months before the wedding with a 4 week RSVP time period

SausageOnAFork · 07/10/2018 22:33

But for some guests they will miss their family holiday because they feel like the save the date means they can't book one.

What? So asking someone to keep one day in the entire year free means that they won’t be able to book a holiday on any other date?

BackforGood · 07/10/2018 22:45

I don't really see the point in sending an official 'Save the Date'.
As you say, you've already told your immediate family.
In my family, if my dd were getting married with her permission I would then tell my sister and brother and SiL and BiL and ask them to tell their dc (after checking with dd they would be invited) and likewise with close family friends. dd would tell her close friends, and I presume dd's 'spouse to be's' family would do the same.
If you want to waste money on cards, then stick them in with your Christmas card 6 months before, but it seems somewhat unnecessary.

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shaggedthruahedgebackwards · 07/10/2018 22:47

Let your close friends family know the date now via text/email/phone/whatever

I wouldn't send out save the dates any earlier than 9 months before date of wedding

purplecorkheart · 07/10/2018 23:14

You could send a text/email now ans then send the card 12 months +1 week in advance. I find some airlines and hotels etc only let you book 12 months in advance and most workplaces I worked in were the dame about leave. The card arriving a few days before keep it fresh in people's mind.

Buggerbrexit · 07/10/2018 23:16

Can’t stop laughing at the PP who is skipping the STDs 😂

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 07/10/2018 23:19

I disagree that you shouldn’t send one as people will be free or not (!)

I’ve had a save the date for 2019 (some time ago!) and booked our holidays around it to ensure we can go. I’d send them in Christmas cards this year as another poster suggested.. I’m already chatting with friends about a 2020 trip so it’s not as far from peoples minds as some might think.

fessmess · 07/10/2018 23:22

I got a std card 18 months in advance, booked leave, then realised it was 18 months and not 6 in advance. Oh well, day to myself!

WomblesAreCommon · 08/10/2018 00:51

Ignore people saying not to send them. People don’t remember dates so it’s helpful to have and they’re fun!

junebirthdaygirl · 08/10/2018 05:23

I presume you mean its during the school holidays or all your teacher friends/ family won't be able to come. Children can take a day off teachers can't!!!

ontheearth · 08/10/2018 06:34

Surely she means it's on a weekend outside school holidays...

StealthPolarBear · 08/10/2018 06:38

Surely the whole point of them is you send them as soon as the date is a definite, but before you know all details and timings. We didn't have them but I checked our proposed date with people we really wanted there (aunts and uncles, cousins) before I booked.

FoodGloriousFud · 08/10/2018 06:41

We get married in March and put ours in with Christmas cards last year.

StealthPolarBear · 08/10/2018 06:44

Why wouldn't you send them out ASAP though? They're to allow guests to plan around that date. The longer you delay the less likely it is?
If that's not their purpose then they're just a precursor to the invitation and imo a waste of time and paper.

RancidOldHag · 08/10/2018 06:48

It's just an expensive way of telling people something you could tel, them anyhow.

If you have a big budget, they're harmless, but they serve no real purpose. As you'll e telling the key people anyhow.

Unless you propose to just scatter them to everyone you intend to invite. In which case, a year in advance.

PippaPug · 08/10/2018 07:54

I’m getting married next July and sent save the date cards in September, as that’s when i got them. I would send them out a max of a year ahead - but equally all my friends and family are in the uk (bar a few) and I know most of them don’t have any holidays booked. So far everyone who has got them are able to come.

Loopytiles · 08/10/2018 07:56

Just tell people!

EvaHarknessRose · 08/10/2018 08:01

I think pragmatically, its too soon to put on the calendar - people will have changed their app/phone/wall calendar by then and so might forget the date anyway.

EvaHarknessRose · 08/10/2018 08:02

And some people like my db will turn up a year early because they didn’t look at the year.

Sparklyfee · 08/10/2018 08:31

@SausageOnAFork

Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. The way that annual leave is worked out where my DP works means that we often only have one opportunity in the school holidays. And people get funny about their weddings, someone has posted further up that they sent them and that they know nobody has holidays booked. My point is they may now feel under pressure not to book them!

Original poster
IsTheRainEverComingBack · 08/10/2018 08:44

junebirthdaygirl sparklyfee

No, I mean it’s a Saturday not during any school holidays/half terms so shouldn’t affect anyone (like teachers, kids in school) who can only go on holiday during the holidays. There’s no children who would be travelling more than an hour and a half max if they did come with their parents, so no one would need to miss any school, and I wouldn’t ask anyone to anyway.

I use an outlook calendar, things I put in there now definitely be there in 2020! But I’m thinking spring next year probably makes sense

OP posts:
Original poster
IsTheRainEverComingBack · 08/10/2018 08:46

And kids shouldn’t be taking a day off for a wedding, it’s not an approved absence reason

OP posts:
TheOneWith · 08/10/2018 08:52

We got a save the date card early this year for 2019. I totally forgot about it
Blush and booked our holiday last month over the wedding date.

I’m not rearranging the holiday as I’m not that bothered about going to the wedding.

Save yourself the effort and expense and don’t bother.

People will either want to come and will make that happen, or they won’t. A card 12 months in advance won’t change that.

Original poster
IsTheRainEverComingBack · 08/10/2018 09:01

If someone has something more important going on than coming to our wedding that’s absolutely fine, I really won’t mind, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with some forward planning. Maybe some people will come back straight away and say they’ve already got something booked that date and we can adjust the numbers, which would be quite helpful as the cost per person isn’t small!

OP posts:
GhostsToMonsoon · 08/10/2018 09:43

I would say 9-12 months before the date.