I just soiled myself on the way to work

[Jarviscockup]

Please make me feel better.
In traffic, en route to work. Felt the rumblings of an imminent trump. Tried to squeeze it out and shat myself.
What then followed was the worst stomach cramps I've felt in a while, along with what can only be described as a warm oozing sensation. I couldn't hold it in!
Immediately did a U-turn and drove home to the privacy of my toilet. And my shower.
I don't think it's a bug so I'm still planning on going to work. It's ovulation time though and for some reason that always sends my bowels a bit funny.
The worst part is it leaked onto the interior of my car, so now I have a small brown stripe of shame in the driver's seat.
How's your Friday morning going?

Bless you I hope you feel better soon OP

But do you think you'll be safe to go back into work today,I'd probably stay home unless being at work was a life and death situation,just incase it happened to you again today.

• so now I have a small brown stripe of shame in the driver's seat.

I’d just call it a skid mark.

Thank you for the posters who replied and got where I was coming from. I was indeed horrified and thought that sharing on an anonymous forum would ease my mortification. So thank you for the messages of solidarity!
I'm not a troll, no. This genuinely happened this morning. I probably should have made it more clear that ovulation set off my IBS which resulted in 'the incident.'
I did choose the title so that if you prefer not to read that sort of thing, you didn't have to click on it.
I did get changed and showered and am now back at work, hence the delay in reading replies!
Off to read the 'poo on work skirt' thread now 😂

Who gives a shit

Nice username BTW

The feeling is entirely mutual, he's a right cock

My Friday is going ok apart from falling asleep and missing my nail appointment followed by the dentist.

I did once wet myself walking through the city centre in broad daylight. Had a horrendous cough and I couldn't stop and was desperate for a wee and yes..... at least you didn't do it in public op

Happened to me last time I was camping! Not fun...
I was fine after though.

I don't understand the shock horror, I know I shouldn't laugh but I did giggle a little at the squeezing out a trump that turned out not to be a trump 

If it makes you feel better @Jarviscockup I'll overshare now...

warning TMI coming up

I am a regular runner, but running gets my bowels moving especially if I go out first thing in the morning. Now normally I make it home but sometimes it's a close call and I have to shout as I come in the front door for DH and DS to "clear the bathroom!"

One morning I didn't make it home.

I had to do a Paula Radcliffe behind a hedge and use a dock leaf to wipe.

I guess people are a bit about threads like this OP because they are usually posted by a troll and it wears a bit thin.

Hope you're feeling ok now?

I'm feeling much better now, thankyou. And thankyou for all sharing your stories too! I feel much less alone now. Maybe one day I'll be able to talk about this out loud and share it with friends, but for now I'll just admit it on anonymous internet forums 😂

Also I didn't realise poo trolling was a thing! (Wtf?!) So apologies. Next time I'll..... actually, let's hope there's never a next time.

I’m not keen on all the thread policing and warning of trolls tbh.

Report it or don’t read it, but all the holier than though stuff annoys me. It’s anonymous. It’s also public. Maybe OP thinks she doesn’t care if some weirdo wanks off to it. I wouldn’t if it was my thread. Saying we mustn’t talk about things because some men might masturbate to it is very ‘women are responsible for what men do’ which is one of the rules of misogyny and I don’t like to be told to adhere to it.

Seen a number of threads recently about kids and people have said ‘how would you CHILDREN feel if they read this’ and I’m like FFS, it will be a cold day in hell before I ever tell my kids my MN username for them to read my posts.

When it happened to me, for the first time I suddenly understood the saying 'never trust a fart'.

yes poo trolling is definitely a thing would you believe?! Hopefully there won't be a next time OP!

I’ll raise you. Within the past year have shat myself in Aldi and also when I took a kid for an early morning surgical procedure. Birth injury, will leave it at that. Good times.

Get 30sec notice at most but luckily I’m generally a creature of habit and go not long after getting up so make sure I’m always within a quick run to the loo in readiness and never ever leave the house of a morning unless I have been but occasionally I get caught out with an additional surprise. Yay. Not.

Will add, if anyone feels the need to wank off to that information - feel free, apart from your obvious defects you are easily pleased.

Daffodil I have UC, currently on a ward with a pred drip. Sort you squeamish souls but for some of us this can ce a daily occurrence, it’s grim, debilitating and degrading. Removes confidence and restricts life to an enormous degree. Being able to talk about it can help but being told off for discussing it is humiliating and unfair.

That should read ‘ sorry you squeamish souls’

I think it's funny that people clicked on this thread title and then think TMI. That was a risk. It was either going to be a cringe-inducing lighthearted tale or a what medication should I take request for info.

No harm done OP apart from the car seat. Do you have the magic eraser for fabric?

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits!

As another with Crohns here, this is very apt!

I see nothing whatsoever in the OP requesting an anecdote?

OP, you ask me to make you feel better. How about a joke:

I got a job at a paperless office. Everything was great until I needed a shit

My Friday morning went great thanks for asking and I hope I'll be in for a good evening too.

Hope you feel better soon.

Batteriesallgone

Agree with your post.

There's currently a thread about a greetings card which has led to a vigorous debate on anal sex and...ahem..faecal leakage. The perv is probably over there wanking over that one.

This is the fourth thread I've been on today involving anuses:-

*This one.
*Greetings card one.
*Controlling boyf wanting girlf's arsehole bleached/waxed one.
*Constipated and backed-up one.

Seems half the world is sitting on a problem!