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Original poster

I just soiled myself on the way to work

85 replies

Jarviscockup · 05/10/2018 09:33

Please make me feel better.
In traffic, en route to work. Felt the rumblings of an imminent trump. Tried to squeeze it out and shat myself.
What then followed was the worst stomach cramps I've felt in a while, along with what can only be described as a warm oozing sensation. I couldn't hold it in!
Immediately did a U-turn and drove home to the privacy of my toilet. And my shower.
I don't think it's a bug so I'm still planning on going to work. It's ovulation time though and for some reason that always sends my bowels a bit funny.
The worst part is it leaked onto the interior of my car, so now I have a small brown stripe of shame in the driver's seat.
How's your Friday morning going?

OP posts:
IStandWithPosie · 05/10/2018 09:59

That’s quite a description. Very enthusiastic.

Bluntness100 · 05/10/2018 10:01

Fgs people it’s just poo

I think you'll find we are all aware of it. I'm assuming then if you shit yourself in the car and were showering and changing to get youtself to work, you'd think, hang on, I think I shall start a thread on mumsnet to tell everyone about this, not to ask for help or advice, just to let them know?

If so you and the op could be BFF.

The rest of us will continue to raise an eyebrow.

MNHQ
DawnMumsnet · 05/10/2018 10:21

Morning,

We've had a lot of reports about this thread so we have of course been checking behind the scenes...

We were half hoping the OP was a newbie or a previously banned sort, meaning we could take this thread down and not have to keep seeing the words 'soiled myself' flashing up in the Reports queue when we're trying to eat our Friday morning pastries. Grin

But she is in fact a long-term, regular MNer with no history of posting dodgy threads so we're assuming this is genuine. Maybe a bit TMI, but not actually breaking any Talk Guidelines.

Thanks for, um, sharing, OP! Hope you feel better soon. Flowers

Bluntness100 · 05/10/2018 10:29

We were half hoping the OP was a newbie or a previously banned sort, meaning we could take this thread down and not have to keep seeing the words 'soiled myself' flashing up in the Reports queue when we're trying to eat our Friday morning pastries

I was eating a sausage at the time. Put me right off. 🤣🤣🤣

MyBrexitGoesOnHoliday · 05/10/2018 10:31

Bluntness the issue i have is that people would NOT be raising an eyebrown if someone was talking about poo in other circumstances.
Actually people are sharing a hell of a lot of stuff in MN that are just as ‘gross’ or weird or surprising or upsetting.

The OP was clearly trying to maker herself better after a situation that was ‘not very nice’.
She could well actually have serious bowel issues that are undiagnosed.
She wasn’t asking for more poo stories.
I am struggling to see how this is different from most of those other stories on MN about vomit, baby poo, flooding periods etc....

1000antsinmypants · 05/10/2018 10:33

I have an ant infestation. It’s delightful.

Bluntness100 · 05/10/2018 10:39

I think Brexit if she'd started a thread saying

"I have serious bowel issues and soiled myself this morning, I am unsure what to do about it, can you help, I feel awful". Then the responses would have been different.

Instead we were all greeted with a story of needing to fart, squeezing it out, a warm oozing sensation, shit stains on her car seat. So for some of us, tmi, for uou it's all good, I get that.

Sharingtheload · 05/10/2018 10:47

I think it's a pretty funny thread Grin plenty of worse things being shared on the internet. Thanks for the laugh OP.

chickhonhoneybabe · 05/10/2018 10:51

OP exactly the same thing happened to me a few weeks ago (I have Ibs) Luckily my seats are leather tho...

picklemepopcorn · 05/10/2018 11:02

Are you on any meds that make it worse? I had trouble with sertraline.

RedDogsBeg · 05/10/2018 11:03

I agree with you Bluntness and don't understand the necessity for telling the world nor for the excessive description of the event.

No-one needs to know, clean yourself up and keep quiet about it.

Amber0685 · 05/10/2018 11:21

I hope you haven't had any repeat episodes op, (may be you ate something dodgy?) and that you have a better rest of the day.

DaffodilPower · 05/10/2018 11:30

Can I just say, I have Crohn's disease. I have shit myself in my car before, it is heartbreaking.

Everyone poops, we just don't always get a say in when/where. If it offends that much, just don't read a thread about it?

I know OP doesn't say she has any kind of reason other than ovulation (?!!) behind it, but really, and as shocking and hard as some may find it, it helps a damn lot of people for this to be less stigmatised.

I took a week off work when it happened to me. It has also happened while waiting for a bus (only one at the stop) and running home to get to the loo in time. I didn't talk about it to anyone. Just cried and fell into a black hole.

Maybe some of you are grossed out by it, but for some it is a fact of life and we have to live with it, so post away, OP! Though maybe don't go into work, and see your GP - not sure this is a known side effect of ovulation?!

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits!

Hideandgo · 05/10/2018 11:42

Like seriously, who the hell cares if some people read these threads for a sexual kick, what difference does it make.

OP there will be very few people who haven’t done something similar at some point, usually due to illness. It’s no big deal other than the massive hassle and just thank fuck you weren’t in a meeting!

Bluntness100 · 05/10/2018 12:12

I think if you're ill and soil yourself most people would have empathy. Randomly shitting youtself and then explicitly detailing it on the internet for 16 million people whilst they eat their breakfast is always going to be a little stigmatised and perceived as different.

One of life's little mysteries as to why really 😁

HeartburnCentral · 05/10/2018 12:16

"Thanks for sharing, OP!"
I'm not so grateful as MNHQ! Grin

picklemepopcorn · 05/10/2018 12:17

Some of us need a bit of outside input to help us process things. I literally can't think things through without someone to talk at, sometimes. Just because you can process internally doesn't mean that OP can! She needed to say it. That's all.

elQuintoConyo · 05/10/2018 12:19

NovaScot perhaps Sexy Dog Walker thinks you were taking doggy-style a bit too far Grin

I have, thankfully, never crapped myself in public, but i have had a period accident. It was mooooooortifying. But by telling a friend over many many beers, i could begin to laugh about it. Better out than in!

primoestate · 05/10/2018 12:29

Why would you even announce that?
Tennis

SerenDippyEggs · 05/10/2018 12:30

If you don't want to read a thread about someone shitting themselves, why click on this thread when the title clearly describes what it's about?! Grin

Brown stripe of shame 😂😂😂 hope you are feeling better OP. I did a wet fart in an exam once, Inbetweeners style but not quite as bad. Thankfully I was at the back and 10 minutes from finishing the exam!

WowserBowser · 05/10/2018 12:33

I love a bit of over sharing. Hope you feel better soon OP. Worse things happen at sea. Not much worse, but still.

Annandale · 05/10/2018 12:36

Happens to me regularly. Im bad at planning but also now get constipated premenstrually, which clears like a trapdoor opening after my period starts. If im somewhere unfamiliar it can take me slightly too long to find a toilet.

I do find women's squeamishness about poo and pee immensely tedious. So i sympathise op with you for all tge cat's bum faced replies you are getting. I frequently hear 'urgh it stinks in here' in public toilets whrn i am there. If i could poo Zoflora i would, but as it is i produce shit and not always conveniently. BFD. By all means see your gp if it's new but otherwise have a shower and get on with your life, you are far from alone.

Bluntness100 · 05/10/2018 12:39

I do find women's squeamishness about poo and pee immensely tedious

In my experience it's not gender specific. No need to lampoon your own. And it's also not about being squeamish, in fact I'd argue that having raised babies most women are much less squeamish than many men who couldn't bring themselves to change a shitty nappy.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 05/10/2018 12:41

Some things need never be aired on a public forum. This is one of them.

🤮

GooodMythicalMorning · 05/10/2018 12:41

At least you were in your car and not outside or on public transport.