I am MORTIFIED

[Jammiebammie]

Hurrying to get ready this morning and trying to quickly slap on some make up - couldn’t find a bobble so just grabbed a pair of thongs from my (clean) washing pile to tie my hair up.
Dd was being really difficult so abandoned the make up idea and just hurried and left.

Went to the school and had a meeting with a couple of teachers re dd. Then went to a hospital appointment for dd, and to a cafe afterwards.
Home now, and dd1 walked in and said ‘haaa, mum, why do you have knickers in your hair’
Yup - that’s right. I’ve had the thongs tying my hair up ALL FRIGGIN DAY!!! And dd1 is laughing her head off at me.

Why did nobody tell me?? I know the receptionist, the teachers, the consultants and nobody said a bloody word. 2 women were giving me funny looks in the cafe but as dd has a noticeable disability I presumed they were staring at her and gave them a well practised ‘dont stare at my daughter’ look back.

Oh my god I want the ground to swallow me up. They weren’t even nice thongs - greying, lacey primark ones with all the elastic bits poking out. Dd said they were glaringly obvious.

Would you have said anything? Shall I say anything to the consultants when we’re back on Thursday, so they don’t think I’ve lost my marbles??! Oh no... I might just move countries instead.

Please help me to feel better and tell me you’ve done something similar. Off to crawl under a rock now...

I went to town and more than halfway back again before anyone saw fit to tell me a bra had hooked itself on the back of my jacket and was just hanging right on the centre of my back 😩

Photo please, OP, or it didn't happen.

None of this look at my neat little pair of thongs hair tie nonsense for me.

I'm going to tie my sensible Mummy Pants into a nice big Minnie Mouse bow.

Now there's a stealth boast for you.

Some men like it that way.

I once woke up really late for work with a dreadful hangover. Pulled on the first pair of clean jeans that I could find and limped off to the tube.

Whilst waiting on the platform, I felt something brushing my ankle and panicked, jumping away and shaking my leg in case it was a tube mouse. A greying pair of old pants that must have formed a loving embrace with the inside of my jeans flew out of the bottom and landed at the feet of the businessman next to me

Bastard bootlegs, why were they ever fashionable? That would never have happened with my beloved skinnies!

Aah you have just reminded me of my embarrassment a couple of years ago! You know those things you can get at the bottom of a handbag to keep the structure - they look exactly like long thin sanitary towels. I have no idea how but one somehow attached itself to my cardigan at the swimming pool - there i was in full few of everyone shouting to get my dcs attention at the side of the pool with it firmly attached to my backside tried nonchalantly to peel it off and stuff it in my bag when I realised.

Oh God my eternal shame....

When I had my first period (11, just started secondary), my darling DM talked me through all the options for protection. This was a school morning, so i got sorted and legged it for the bus. I was late into assembly and being year 7 had to sit at the front so went down the central isle to my seat. roughly 1200 kids sitting looking at the front...

On the way out my friend drew me aside to inform me that i had a sanitary pad stuck to my trousers. Yep, i'd sat down on the (clean, unused!!) one mum had used to show me.

Dear God.

and i'd had it stuck there all the way on the bus, into school and into assembly.

the horror.

I went for a smear and the nurse found a stamp on my pubes.

HuntMyBra a postage stamp?!

Today I put my daughter's massive sparkly unicorn head band on (complete with cars and a huge horn) whilst I did the bathroom to keep my hair out of my face.

I forgot and took the dog out for a walk after

Ears. Not cars

Yes. Or was it a Green Shield? I forget.

I was just about to Snopes you HuntMyBra. Then I realised your name is an anagram of Urban Myth. You didn't hear about gypsies kidnapping a child and shaving their head in the loos at Asda? Or the Beckham's paying a couple £££ to change their wedding date so they could have (insert random public/wedding venue here) all to themselves dis you?

This is berrrrrilliunt. 😹😹😹

I walked the length of the high street with my skirt tucked in my knickers. Luckily they covered my modesty!

I had a blouse on as part of a matching, jacket, trousers and blouse to coordinate, I thought I was looking well. I arrived in work running 5 mins behind as was diverted due to an accident and had to go a 15-mile diversion. So i took the jacket off and went straight into a meeting with the trustees and did a presentation, I sat down with 8 men on the other side of the table for questions and one of them starting making signals at me telling me to look down, I looked down and fled the room in horror.

My seat belt had been rubbing on my blouse during the drive, it was normally 50 miles plus an added 15 that morning and somehow had shredded the whole front of it so while I was doing the presentation and cos they couldn't get a word in edgeways I was flashing them with my lovely grey suspension long gone bra.

I did what I needed to and shut myself in the toilet and got one of my colleagues to nip down to Tescos and get me a tee shirt. The trustees said they had stopped stopping me during the presentation and all they could get was "Il take questions at the end"

Also when I was a teenager I was visiting a relative in hospital who was close to the end, Various other relatives were visiting too and I went to take a breather outside and decided to take a wander down thru a&e before I went back up to the ward, as I passed the patients waiting a ripple of laughter broke out and I kept on walking oblivious to what was so funny. Thinking it was something on the telly. Nope, it was me as I went the corridor one old lady stopped me and said "I think you might have lost something" I looked back and about 15 metres back was my skirt lying in a heap on the ground. I ran back grabbed it and legged it as I put it back on. Thinking I had got away with it without relatives seeing me and being teased about it, I went up the stairs to the 6th floor, the family had already heard about it by the time I got up there. Less than 5 mins later.

Like the OP with the stamp last Tuesday night I was in hospital and my catheter was being changed by the nurse as I was bypassing, (thankfully it was only in for a 48 hour test) anyhow as she went to take out the 1st one, she asked what the green thing was in my vag, I hadn't a clue, so she put it in a sick bowl so I could get a look at it, yes it was a green minty finger disposable toothbrush / teeth wipe, I had used earlier that day for freshening up. Not entirely sure how it got in there as had managed to get inside my PJ bottoms and pants

Hello, I registered here only to inform, that jammiebammies story about thongs is in our evening newspaper here in Finland. The newspaper is called Iltalehti (translation: evening newspaper). It is a big story on that newspaper. Äiti unohti käyttäneensä stringejä ponnarina, that is the story, If you want to use Google to find it (cannot link, sorry about it). Have a Nice Day.

Oh you’ve gone international Jammie !

Looking at the news story, and google translate is so hilarious. And the Finnish paper got it from the Mirror!

Oh... my.... god

whaaaat?

I’m famous. Not for groundbreaking research, or discovering a cure for cancer, but for being ‘Thong Mum’. Great!

jammiebammies story about thongs is in our evening newspaper here in Finland. The newspaper is called Iltalehti (translation: evening newspaper). It is a big story on that newspaper

Not much happens in Finland these days obviously...

This is the first MN thread thats made me genuinely LOL in public. My tube mates are looking at me like I'm a total loon.
The best thing about the mirror article is that it calls what the OP has described as "a greying, lacey primark thong with all the elastic bits poking out" a very racy item! Maybe the journalist learned the art of seduction at the same place as @Flashingbeacon
My embarrassing story is that I was running late for a quasi-formal event at a friends church. I wanted to use my new handbag, but it was biggish, and looked a bit sad with only my wallet sitting in the bottom of it, so I just scooped some stuff off the bedroom floor to bulk it out a bit. At the end of the service the vicar was stood at the door taking a retiring offering, so I rummaged in my bag for my wallet and put some money in the tray. Then stood there having a 10 minute chat with the vicar. Then noticed that I had removed a pair of worn lacy pants from my bag whilst rummaging and had been nonchalantly holding them in my other hand throughout the chat.
Never went back to that church

Same thing happened to me, mine were dirty...

This is very funny