How did you get rich?

[Roxetta]

I'm 29 with a lovely DH & 2 gorgeous children. We live month to month, getting into small amounts of debt and then getting back out of it and this cycle repeats itself.

I don't mean to sound boastful but I'm fairly smart and a massive underachiever. DH is in the army and my career has been sidelined while the DC are young but i'm in the process of looking at qualifications I can complete to give myself the best chance at a really good career.

I am massively driven now (wasn't during my teen years due to life events that went on at that time) but basically I want a good lifestyle, I want us to be able to enjoy the finer things in life and to go on long haul holidays and enjoy all that life has to offer without money being the huge barrier that it currently is for us.

I'm so far away from being where I want to be in life. Can you share your experiences of how you managed to become wealthy? I'm just hoping to hear some positive stories because I sometimes feel quite defeatist that I'm 29 and I've achieved so little. I know there is more to life than money and I'm very lucky to have my family but I want to be able to offer them more. Thanks.

Surround yourself with the right kind of people. So if you're going to start a business, go to networking groups and befriend fellow business owners. I had so much negativity when I quit my job to go freelance because of the figures for business failure and blah blah. I'm not saying you can't be friends with anti-business people but don't take advice from them.

Make peace with debt, be brave and work smart (not necessarily hard). Do things other people aren't willing to do. I was once asked by a fellow mum how I managed to work full time with a baby and when I outlined my day to day she said she didn't want to do that. Which is absolutely fine but by not choosing between working or being a SAHM I had neither the career break nor dent in finances.

I think some of my friends would be surprised by how wealthy we are because we drive old cars, don't buy fancy electronics, cheap clothes and I shop very carefully with meal planning etc. But I'd rather be mortgage free in a few years time, sell the company I'm building up and retire in my forties.

I’m a bit at the people saying they want to retire in their forties

I’m in my fifties and love my work - it’s part of me, keeps my brain alive etc. The thought of retiring and never working again is really depressing to me

Dh and I are relatively smart and work hard, we've had some good opportunities professionally and really made the most of them. He's done especially well and I've supported him. He travels a lot for work so there have been sacrifices but we work well as a team.

Not rich by any means but lucky with property

@Taffeta To me, retiring in my forties means being financially free and able to choose to spend my time as I wish. I would spend my time productively but would use my business skills by volunteering with a charity or something like that. I've no desire to keep making money for the sake of it once our home is paid for and we're ok for retirement.

Making me laugh how few people are willing to say "I'm rich". . Lots of "not rich but comfortable" . Very middle class
I'm ACTUALLY not rich, but fully intending to be so. I run a small business that has potential and I don't like working stupidly hard-I value time to do other things, but I realised I had an innate understanding of this niche and the ability to see the big picture. I'm like the opposite of the "detail oriented" spec that was required in my many shitty admin jobs.
Things are growing and I'm hoping to be able to hire a part timer next year to takeep care of the repetitive, admin type elements so I can concentrate on growing the business further.
So, I would say know and play to your strengths, accept your weaknesses and be prepaired to leap into the void.
I could very well fall on my arse but I had bugger all to lose to begin with ( no inheritance, no property ) so what the Hell.

I guess I think of ‘rich’ as yachts and private jets which we definitely aren’t, we are still paying a mortgage but have more money and savings than my family ever did and don’t have to think about what the weekly shop costs.
How? I did well at school, got a 1st class degree from an excellent uni, did a PhD and realised very quickly that I didn’t want to be an academic then had the luck to bump into someone at a conference who was interested in my work. He suggested a job at his company, which happens to be in a well paying sector. A year later when I finished my PhD I applied and was successful, did well in my first few years, good salary increases. Met DH at the same company so on a similar salary. Got a posting abroad, which allowed us to save. Came back home and by then were on a combined salary that allowed us to keep saving.
One DS and second on the way, spaces so we will start to get some free hours for the 1st by the time the 2nd starts nursery.
If we were really careful with spending we could be mortgage free in less than 10 years I think but we spend as well as save.
So a mix of hard work (at school, uni and in my job), luck (I’m academically able, I chose a course that unintentionally led to a well paid sector, I met some of the right people at the right time and got a good job) and planning (career and children).
The disadvantage is that I need to keep the high salary now so no option to be a SAHM or go to very part time hours or similar.

What I've picked up from this thread is that those that have become rich on their own accord are very frugal?

I was thinking that Freenim

Thanks everyone for all of the replies. My idea of rich is just being able to enjoy life without having to worry about how much everything costs. I feel like at the moment, everything is a struggle and I'm so worried and scared that I'll never come out of this. I'm not a homeowner, that's another big worry.

I think this thread has shown me that I need to start investing in myself. Educating myself and training in things I'm interested in. With a DH who will have to move every few years, no family support & small children, I feel as though the odds are stacked against me but I'm determined to give it my best shot. I suppose I just need a bit of luck on my side and everything could turn out well. You've all inspired me so thank you for that I'm trying to remember that I'm still young... time is on my side and hopefully I can turn things around.

I’m another comfortable but not rich poster. The key for us was both being in graduate roles with clear progression paths (but we aren’t in the traditionally high paying fields).we started out at very normal salaries but quickly progressed. My husband went from earning 18k to 120k in around a decade. We have both been lucky to have had safety nets. We can borrow off our parents, we will always have homes to go to if things go wrong and we’ve had generous gifts or loans to help us on the way. We have both always been very savvy (but not right) and have a similar financial outlook. I’d say we work hard and have a lot of stress but many lower earners work just as hard. It is not as simple as ‘work hard and then you’ll earn well’. The main difference will be for my children. I think they will grow up very privileged and will have a start in life that I we both didn’t have. I have no doubt that they will have an easier path to success than someone from a more disadvantaged background and it is important to recognise that.

Educating yourself and continue to strive to develop and improve is important.

Lots of the folk on this thread, myself included, will be thinking hard about how they spend their time. We all get 24 hrs so it's about how to prioritise them and how important your goals are to you.

A few simple examples -
I got rid of my TV over 25 years ago and spent those extra few hours in the evening studying for a masters degree (MBA)
I cancelled my magazine subscriptions and instead read more self development books on my commutes
I listen to podcasts rather than music when cooking at night
I've joined online Facebook communities for virtual mentoring and peer support which I dip into when I'm looking at social media

I know it all might sound a bit dry, and sucking the joy out of life, but if your driven and dedicated to achieve something, and it really sounds as though you are, you need to make some choices about where you are going to find some YOU time from.

Good luck. I think you've got a great attitude and have created a really interesting thread here.

15 years ago, not 25!

Thank you Botanica. I really appreciate that

I know it's not that big a deal but in the last year, I have taken up piano lessons again and I'm loving just seeing myself improve. I only practice for half an hour a night and sometimes I feel tired or I've had a stressful day with the kids but one thing I've learned, is that if I don't practice, I'm only cheating myself. It's me who doesn't learn. It's me who doesn't improve and get better and it's me who won't one day be the pianist I hope to be. Life is like that. Consistently put in the work and you get results. I hope to apply that logic to my career also.

Hopefully I can bring this thread back to life in a few years time and tell you all how well off I am 😆

Roxetta and Botanica I absolutely agree it's all about self improvement. Gains in work will come from being able to focus on yourself. I also have a lot of hobbies and personal projects and if think it makes material things less important. By not spending money on needlessly replacing perfectly good TVs, clothes shopping and all the rest of it, you can focus on saving money for things that really matter. That's how I always approached money. Work hard in something you enjoy

Wel done on the piano lessons!

@Roxetta there's a great online community of people supporting each other through some really good discussions just like this. I think you'd like it.

Search The Career Mum on Facebook and perhaps join her group if you like the sound of it.

Study a vocational course that pays well
Save 50% salary in your 20s when you don't have dependents
Don't have kids til your mid 30s
I am now in my mid 40s and work for my sanity rather than because I need to.
I bought 5 buy to let properties in my 20s and early 30s to see my through my retirement and am now mortgage free.
I don't consider myself rich but I don't worry about money.

I would call us wealthy - we have significant savings, are overpaying the mortgage, and can afford for DH to not work.
It's a combination of getting wise about money, inheritance and luck.

I've got an OK Engineering degree and landed in a safety-critical job. When a competitor set up a new office nearby and poached staff, the shortage meant my salaries shot up! It suits my skills, but I think the majority of that was chance - I didn't plan it.

DH & I "inherited" an attitude to money (and things) where we save and wait, and we look for "good enough". We look for the best deals, change bank accounts, utilities, insurance etc to keep costs down. Also cycle rather than drive, buy secondhand, diy or make our own etc. I also did a Futurelearn course on managing money and am now more knowledgeable, so I make sure savings are earning more than 0.02%!

I plan and have targets for savings, mortgage, pensions and so on, including replacing more expensive items. Each time I get a pay rise I try to keep living on the same amount so put (most of) the extra into savings or to charity.

My DM is giving us money also (she was ignorant of how wealthy they were until DF died, she wants to avoid inheritance tax) and I do put effort into researching what the best thing to do is, rather than just spending it.

I was always incredibly able at school yet wasn't interested. I worked low pay jobs for years after leaving school at 16 and until I became a single mum at 20. I got me by and I was quite happy. Once having my daughter i knew I wanted to give her a good life but I didn't have the support to go to uni full time without getting into a huge amount of debt so I looked to see what kind of job I could do that had potential for progression and high earnings in a reasonable amount of time. I applied for an entry level job on the phones in a well known financial services company. I also enrolled in a business management degree which was funded as my earnings were low at the time. I then worked my arse off part time whilst studying and caring for my daughter. I was always 'on' in work - offering to help the bosses and making sure I made a really good impression at all times. After a few years of hard graft, studying and preparing, I went for a higher level role and got it. This role straight away put me in a much better position and allowed me to go full time and cover childcare costs. My degree then took a back seat as I already got my foot in the door and potential to now progress further. I'm now almost 30. I am in a managerial role and make a very good salary. I met my husband a few years ago and we married last month. He is in the same industry although we didn't meet through work and he is on about ten grand more than me so we have a very comfortable life. We don't have expensive cars or a huge mortgage - our house is lovely but modest as we prefer to have big savings, holidays and lots of disposable income to enjoy each month. I had to make sacrifices to get the career I wanted and it was hard at times but it was totally worth it. I feel I now have what I've always wanted

DH's grandad was a miner. His mother became a teacher. Be grew up in a semi in the North. One of three. They scrimped.

DH went to the local comp, then Oxford, pupillage, silk, etc. A combination of a very good brain and meeting me when he was so skint he was about to give up.

I bought a flat in London at 21, did it up. Had a very good job in the City. Bought a house, did it up. Met DH. From the day he started earning I had already put the equivalent of £1.25m behind us in today's money. By my early 30's.

I'd say a combination of partnership, hard work and good choices. Oh, and living to work doing what you live rather than vice versa. Season with energy, good health, and well children.

When many of my friends were going out (a lot) and travelling the world I was working 12 hour days and sanding floors at weekends.

Married my dh🙊

Children and work often means childcare which, if you don't have someone you know to help, is really expensive - eats away your wages.

Also, getting a good education - knowing what field you want to work in and then working your butt if to excel and rise through the ranks of said job. This takes drive and motivation, if you don't have that, which it sounds like you do, you won't get far.

I think it also probably helps to start families early, under 25, or late, after 35.

We're comfortably off, paid off the mortgage in our 30s, paid off student loans in our 20s, save £1k a month + pension contributions.
No inheritances or family help, but we were lucky with houses as we bought in 2001 and first house sold for 2.5 times what we bought it for, enabling us to get our current house.
What we did was live carefully, spending time to find good deals, mending things and DIY, minimal "stuff" and saving half of any raises.
Had DCs straight out of uni, DH is a software developer so got decent wages straight off. I did mostly NMW jobs that fit round the DCs, though we did a fair bit of co-ordinating each other's early/lates to minimise wraparound care. Did a lot of childcare for friends so they owed us in school holidays. DCs didn't go abroad until they were teenage (but lots of the UK is beautiful so that was no hardship).
We prioritised overpaying on mortgage/student loans, paying CC off completely each month and saving up for things. It's not easy or glamorous, but I grew up poor and saw the stress of debt, and did everything I could to avoid putting my DCs through that life. We've got by on little money, had redundancy, illness, and a DC with various medical conditions. We manage, and it was hard going at times.
You'll get there OP, it's hardest when DCs are preschool age, all your money goes on childcare and all your energy goes on juggling work and DCs.
My advice is, live below your means, and save a small buffer. No shiny bauble is worth the stress of debt.

Worked really hard at school and worked 12-14 hour days from age 21.
Started my own business and again worked very hard. Bought a flat early (23) when you could still do that with. 5% deposit and rented out the second bedroom to a friend. That rent paid the mortgage. Wakes until mid 30s to have kids ( more
Because it took ages!)