How did you get rich?

[Roxetta]

I'm 29 with a lovely DH & 2 gorgeous children. We live month to month, getting into small amounts of debt and then getting back out of it and this cycle repeats itself.

I don't mean to sound boastful but I'm fairly smart and a massive underachiever. DH is in the army and my career has been sidelined while the DC are young but i'm in the process of looking at qualifications I can complete to give myself the best chance at a really good career.

I am massively driven now (wasn't during my teen years due to life events that went on at that time) but basically I want a good lifestyle, I want us to be able to enjoy the finer things in life and to go on long haul holidays and enjoy all that life has to offer without money being the huge barrier that it currently is for us.

I'm so far away from being where I want to be in life. Can you share your experiences of how you managed to become wealthy? I'm just hoping to hear some positive stories because I sometimes feel quite defeatist that I'm 29 and I've achieved so little. I know there is more to life than money and I'm very lucky to have my family but I want to be able to offer them more. Thanks.

@MM18, spot on.

I know a few v average re: degree, not v bright, ex public school boys, often blessed with looks, confidence & charisma though, who are as you describe. Many would get into ££ business schools in London & would network before seeking employment.

They then got hired by big name merchant banks. The weakest performers often got fired after about 18 months to two years but not before they had earned 6 figures plus. Some would never seem to turn up on time or work much but charisma & bluster meant they got by for a long time before they got rumbled. Somehow though they got hired by another bank & they’d repeat process. Then they’d eventually get hired by a investment group/look after ultra high net worth individuals & by that time often have enough to buy a 3 bed flat in Mayfair outright.

There was one extreme example where I once worked. There was a lovely but hopeless broker who lasted longer making ££ than he deserved. The reason? His old school friends covered for him.

Did this happen re: women? Not so much, they were few but had to be stronger & ‘better’.

itsbritany Who you know will always help but moving every couple of years is a huge red flag. Many people have assumed DH came from a wealthy. Nope. His dad was a janitor. He is however excellent at networking. There are lots of people he works with including his boss who had doors opened for them because of their parents. There are many more who haven't. Yes it's not as easy but it is very possible.

Comfortable here, not rich.
Live in a cheap area of the uk.
Had kids late in life, last one when over 40.
Bought first property at 23, sold and bought bigger.
Worked clever in our chosen careers, gained qualifications at young ages then built up careers.
Save, save and save some more, additionally contribute significantly to pensions.
Live very frugally, plan and carefully budget.
Wait. We have always waited allot. So for holidays/cars/ furniture/diy we wait until we have saved for each thing to buy, never go into debt.

Also I have over the last 5-10 years had 3 jobs on the go at once. Long hours, few days off.
I'm shattered most of the time sadly.

It’s certainly got harder to be “the kid from the estate who does well”. Where I am in SW London the catchments are so tiny for the best primaries that you have to live very close, that means paying 700k for a flat or 1.2m for a house. I grew up here & getting into a school wasn’t such of an issue in the past.

Married my DH who sadly had a massive inheritance in cash & property several years after we got married
Bought my council house for peanuts
I still think I’m skint even though I’m not 😂

We have a lovely lifestyle as kids are all grown up so we can go on holiday when we feel like and basically not do an awful lot .
Although I do look after my parents as they are elderly and need support generally my time is my own

But in my early twenties I was pretty skint and a single parent on income support

Really interesting thread. Firstly I'd define wealth as things other than money. Family, friends and health contribute to my life feeling wealthy.

Regarding cash the things that have helped:

1. having children in my late 30s. We were well into paying off mortgages.
2. we watch every penny. Even though we're fairly asset rich were always adding to the next investment.

The previous poster talking about two different types of inheritance spoke well I think. We haven't had money (yet) but what we have had is a fab work ethic and support from our parents. All 4 of our parents are still working (in jobs they love) in their 60's & 70s partly to build family wealth. They could be retired and cruising the world now. Instead they choose to work. We fully expect to do the same.

I'm just about a millennial. I also agree with the posters saying that we have v high expectations these days. I employ 2 sat staff. One has aced virtually every penny over 2 years (or so she says). She's chosen to go to uni close to home to save costs. You can visibly see her making decisions that are already setting her on a path to wealth. Walks rather than drives,
Goes out but not all the Time. Has a old phone. If she's saved most of what I've paid her she's got the best part of 5k by 18.

The other girl is always out on the town. Bought herself a fancy car. Has her nails done weekly. I doubt she's got 5k saved up.

I’m in my early 30s and am fairly comfortable. And honestly I think a big reason for that is I have a partner, who I’ve been with for a decade.

We both come from single parent families and haven’t inherited anything (and probably never will). But both families value education and encouraged us to study, so we are both have undergraduate degrees, masters and professional qualifications. We didn’t have much financial support from our families during uni (or none at all), so we both worked. I had three jobs during my final year of my undergrad. That gives you a pretty good ethic.

Education opens doors, but it can take time. Like many people, we worked really hard during our 20s. I was on £16k at 24 in a very competitive industry - by 30 my main job paid £40k in the same industry. My husband earnt even more. We increased our earning power because we moved cities and countries for jobs. I’ve always done freelance work on top of my normal job, both to get extra experience but also extra cash. I was also pretty focused on building good contacts - which helped me get my last two jobs and more cash. My husband took a job for a few years where he was only home for a couple of weekends a month, because it paid really well. It really helped us to pay for our wedding, and save the deposit for a house.

Before we bought, we lived in cheap flats and shared with friends. We then bought a wreak of a house and have done all of the renovation work ourselves. We couldn’t have afforded the house or saved the deposit or done all the work with just one of us. We’ve also really encouraged/supported each other with work etc which has help us our earnings. I have friends who are single and I think it is much harder to afford a property etc on your own.

We go on big holidays, spend a small fortune on flights each year and we eat well etc because these are things we enjoy. But we’re good at saving money in other areas - we moved all our stuff ourselves or do our own plumbing, for example.

So I guess, I’d say a good education and hard work have helped me a lot. But being really flexible (willing to move cities for a better job for example) and having a partner were also key to getting to a stage where we are comfortable.

We are far from rich, but we spend less than we earn. Savings are just another bill, and are prioritised as such. I bought a flat age 21, and still live here. 31 now, and will be mortgage free by 38. We don't spend before we earn, and we save save save.

Also, with the exception of our mortgage (and our now cleared student loans) we avoid debt. We bought our second hand car out of savings. We save for holidays. Etc etc. We also put a fairly chunky amount into our pensions (with employer contributions, we’re saving between 15 and 20 per cent of salary a month).

Most of the people I know who are rich, rather than just comfortable, either own their own company or are CEOs/directors. Also young people have very high housing costs. Older people have benefitted from buying cheaper houses which are now worth a lot of money. For example dh parents had a mortgage of around 30k but their house is now worth at least 350k if not more.

learn coding and become a software developer

Worriedsister - don't you think the number of buy to lets are adding to the ridiculous housing situation we have in this country and making it harder for people to get on the property ladder? Bit greedy isn't it?

I work full time in a professional role in a healthcare setting. I have 2 postgrad degrees but earn just enough to mean I'm not eligible for tax credits, despite being a single mum of 2.

I've just had to take a second job to try and have a bit of extra spending money as everything goes on mortgage, bills, food and fuel. Not had a holiday in years, kids go away with their dad every year so that's something.

This country is so expensive to live in these days. I fantasise every day about fucking off and living on a beach somewhere hot and cheap!

Not rich but very healthy salary.

Have always worked hard in something I believe in and am very committed to. I always sorted out the difficult issues everyone else moaned about, volunteered for new projects and was positive and helpful to everyone. Not a game player, known for being committed, passionate, know my stuff, honest and fun. Always put the prep in - evenings or at the weekends before making presentations etc.

After having kids worked 4 days a week when I returned to work. It's all just about hard work.

KingfordRun The irony is, until I met my husband and his friends, I thought my friends from home and I were all very privileged. It wasn’t until I’d been working for a couple of years that I realised we were all whatever the intellectual equivalent of cannon fodder is; we were mulching data whilst the big deals were being done in places we didn’t even know existed.

I have no idea how to become rich.

I live a comfortable life but I have 2 young children to my money is tied up in my mortgage, bills, food, childcare costs, after school club fees.

I haven't had a holiday this year, but I have a roof over my head and food in the cupboards.

I always shop around for the cheapest deal on things like insurance, broadband, energy supplier etc. I locked my mortgage in for 5 years as interest rates are low. I overpay on my mortgage every month without fail. Hoping to be mortgage free in 15 years (term is currently 32 years. I put a bit of extra money in my pension at work.

I live within my means and I make sure I always have a back up stash of savings. I put money into my kids ISAs to make sure they have something when they are older, even if it's just enough for them to buy a car. I live within my means, I save for everything I want to buy and never get into debt, only debt I have is my mortgage. I budget for everything. Budgeting is almost a hobby for me

I would love to get the mortgage paid off as quickly as possibly, then become financially independent so I can work if I choose to, not because I have to. That's my goal in life and I'm sticking to it

I grew up poor and as much as I appreciate everything my parents did I want a different life for me and my kids.

We are definitely not rich, but we are, by most people’s standards, comfortable.

Good degrees at good universities led to well-paid professional careers. We both worked and saved very hard in our 20s and 30s (probably too hard, in retrospect) to achieve decent career progression. We now own a nice house in a nice village and a couple of investment properties.

In my experience, the most common method of becoming genuinely rich is to start a business which has potential to grow to significant scale and profitability quickly, eg a branded restaurant chain or a software enterprise. Grow the business as quickly as possible before selling out & cashing in. Obviously, if it was that easy everyone would do it...

Not rich but comfortable. Have been working in professional roles 20 years. Progressed in my career and now warming £110k plus 15% bonus
No kids so just find myself. Never relied on a man.

I guess it's what you consider wealthy....
We're on £48k per Ann together but it's our first jobs since uni.
We've both eaten shit (sorry) for a few years and weren't connected. To us it is getting the grades and being lucky. We should be on 80k + Within the best few years ....

I like others think it would help for definition of what you think is "rich".
In the grand scheme of things I am not rich, but we both have jobs, I work part time as a healthcare professional and am studying to transfer into a career which I hope will provide me not only with better income in the future but also more flexible working hours with the aim of a better life/work balance.
I am not yet into my 30's and own a rental with no mortgage and we have just bought our family home. I have already set up accounts for our mortgage over payments and we haven't even got the keys yet and I have a very small number of shares.
Compared to most of my friends I am very well off, the result of inheritance and being an only child from a small family. Choosing what to do with that inheritance with the aim to help secure my future was my decision. For example we don't own a car even though technically we could afford one. But I refuse to pay for a car we would hardly ever use just because it is "the done thing". I set a cap on £150 for our new phones and we use them until the die as with all other technological devices we own.
I personally however think I would feel better off if my relatives were still alive today and I didn't have the money I do now... I would give up all of the money and assets to be able to spend a weekend with my grandparents and have them meet their great-grandchild...

@MM18, exactly. Someone once said to me if anyone really had an idea how rich the very rich were there would be a revolution. I have seen the average, although usually withi charisma, surround themselves with those who have the skills they lack & make a million a year. Sometimes much more. They would argue this was a talent in itself. Many had a very large dollop of ruthlessness and it is amazing to note if people have a Caeser management style or induce fear how many will do their bidding & how much power & influence they can wield even with key decision makers.

In addition to the above were the harmless but incompetent who amassed ££ before inevitably being fired.

Those I mentioned expected only the very best & had a long list of work related demands. Too many wildly undersell themselves and are far too compliant re: career etc, particularly women from my experience.

I worked hard at school, got two good STEM degrees and a a very good PG qualification identified a business that had been 'undermanaged' and bought that. Short maternity leave and only one child. Worked hard, only had a modest house and car for a long while.
DP left school with no qualifications grafted through apprenticeships, eventually did an OU degree, worked hard and was loyal in his area. He was widowed which paid of mortgage etc and threw himself into his work and rose up quickly. Now one of top/most respected people in his industry standard setter and is well paid for that. Has lived very modestly since he became a widower.
Now we are combining our lives we appear to suddenly have money in truth lots of hard work, living modestly for a long while has paid of.

Moved where the work was, frequently, even once we'd had kids (which was put off until I had enough contacts to freelance and so continue to work whilst looking after them. Bought a house that was at the top of our budget, rented it out rather than selling when we moved elsewhere.

We're on target to have enough money to be able to retire in the next 5 years. Some luck, but an awful lot of hard work and chasing the jobs rather than staying in one place - it means that our kids don't have a place they consider home, they've never been able to decorate their own room, they often have had to share a room and a bed (when we move to a place and are in temporary accommodation for a month or two) or abandon some of their toys when moving country with just suitcases of possessions - but instead they've had a life of travel, they've been to school with other children from all over the world, and soon, they'll have us entirely to themselves in a place we can choose without having to compromise for a commute to a job.

I'm happy with how it's worked out, but it wouldn't be something a lot of people would choose.

It is all about perspective isn’t it. What is rich? There’s a saying about income -expenditure = +1 (happiness/wealth) income - expenditure = -1 (unhappiness/debt).

We would be considered quite well off by most people but are considered as not very well off by others we know. We fly ‘turn left’ but our children’s have friends whose parents have private jets/helicopters and large yachts.

We’ve done Tesco value beans on toast/no holidays/one old car/shoes with holes and it’s hard. Really hard. I don’t know how some people manage to keep their families together on very low incomes and fully understand the cycle of debt that is almost unavoidable. It’s horrible that families are placed in this position.

If you’re poor everything is harder. Electricity on a key is more expensive. You can’t buy in bulk to save money. You might have to shop in local places that have poor choice and are more expensive. Your children still demand smart phones and nice trainers. You are limited to your local school and your children might not get same opportunities as richer peers. I’m sure poverty feels inescapable sometimes.

We perhaps need to think not about how to make the rich richer but how to eradicate poverty in one of the world’s richest countries.