How did you get rich?

[Roxetta]

I'm 29 with a lovely DH & 2 gorgeous children. We live month to month, getting into small amounts of debt and then getting back out of it and this cycle repeats itself.

I don't mean to sound boastful but I'm fairly smart and a massive underachiever. DH is in the army and my career has been sidelined while the DC are young but i'm in the process of looking at qualifications I can complete to give myself the best chance at a really good career.

I am massively driven now (wasn't during my teen years due to life events that went on at that time) but basically I want a good lifestyle, I want us to be able to enjoy the finer things in life and to go on long haul holidays and enjoy all that life has to offer without money being the huge barrier that it currently is for us.

I'm so far away from being where I want to be in life. Can you share your experiences of how you managed to become wealthy? I'm just hoping to hear some positive stories because I sometimes feel quite defeatist that I'm 29 and I've achieved so little. I know there is more to life than money and I'm very lucky to have my family but I want to be able to offer them more. Thanks.

What is "rich"?

Im not rich, I would say comfortable but the one person who I know is (ie some millions) works in tech & came from modest means. So be brilliant!

I am wealthy because I married my DH. His family owned a large regional car dealership (his granddad started the company) they then sold the company a few years back so every family received their percentage share.
DH is also very sensible with money, the family has an investment company together, as well as DH has his own investments, he has shares in a company (of which he is an active director) and he has started property development.

I would not be wealthy without him. I grew up as lower-working class, and would have been happy just cracking on in a standard 9-5 office job, living within my means.
Being with DH means I can now change my working life to something I choose to do rather than must do, and it is a nice feeling to have.

I also believe that if we suddenly lost it all tomorrow, I would cope better with it than he would.

We are not rich rich but certainly are far more comfortable than we used to be.
I was lucky with property market and bought a cottage with a friend for £55,000. I had saved and parents helped so managed my half without a mortgage. When she got married and I bought her half, I took out a small mortgage which I then as a young free and single person, worked hard to pay off. When I met DH in my 30's. he had saved and never bought and was working in jobs that came with accomodation so we had the value of our house as a deposit, now worth £120,000 and we bought a wreck of a 3 BR semi for not much more than we sold for.
We used DH savings to do this up and got last bit of mortgage paid off. I was SAHM now to 3 preschoolers and never bought anything other than charity shop clothes. I also had 2 good friends, wealthier and with slightly older kids who handed me bags of clothes. We bought and sold on ebay too. We did not eat out/never took a taxi/never ate red meat and all our holidays for about 10 years consisted of driving to friends and family in UK/Germany/Holland with an occasional night en route in a Holiday Inn or Premier 1 etc.
When DH lost his job for 2 years I quickly returned to full time working and eventually he found home based work and suddenly for the first time since kids, we had no mortgage and 2 salaries. Kids were moving towards teens so we sold again....had full value, now £260,000 as a deposit, did the move ourselves with a van hire, maxed out on borrowing potential and bought a £500,000 house in the countryside nearby kids secondary school.
Although we are still extremely frugal day to day and do not waste a penny and still sell lots on ebay, we have prioritised some big holidays and in the last 2 years have been to NZ, Kenya and Argentina, however, in all 3 places we shopped around for cheap flights, stayed with friends and family and where we had to visit somewhere where we knew no-one we would stay in most basic air BnB or hostel and would self cater.
So....luck with housing market is a biggie and then being frugal.

I recognised early on that I had no valuable talent so just worked bloody hard instead. Also, I had my DCs relatively young and have been able to focus on my career in my late 40s and 50s. And - a shedload of lucky breaks.

Split with exH when DCs were both under 3. I was a SAHM and all we had was debts and negative equity. Minimal maintenance. I had no option but to go and work - and find and keep a job that paid enough to cover childcare. I think that's where my drive came from. I had to pretend to be so confident that I think I actually became confident. All driven by fear of not being able to pay the bills. But 20 years on I love what I do and earn enough to have a nice life and treat family.

But it's not always about what you earn. I earn 3 x what DH does. He is great with money and has far more in savings than I have. (but has no children and didn't marry until he was early 40s).

OP, you could have been me at 29. Two small children and living hand to mouth whilst sidelining my career to support the DC.

5 years later at 34 we are finally coming out of the money fog and it isn't really down to any one particular thing happening, rather a combination of things.

Biggest contributing factor was probably finding a good job that worked well with the children. I found a contractor position that meant I was paid well and had the freedom to work around the children's needs, thus being able to reduce childcare so we were able to maximise the benefit of the 15/30 funded hours scheme.

Then as DD started school this year we moved to the village we work in which luckily has a good primary school within walking distance of both home and work. This means I was able to up my hours whilst getting rid of childcare altogether.

Then.... I went for a higher paid permanent position and have just landed the biggest pay rise of my life.

However, however, we have also had a couple of small windfalls in that time due to deaths in the family etc.

What I'm trying to say, quite badly, is that it does get better, and just hang on in there. Be careful and canny with your money, save where and what you can to minimise any future debts you have to clear and hold on.

In the nicest possible way meant... children are the biggest suckers of money, time and energy.
I’ve just had one go off to uni an have a tween at home still.
I had to put them in numerous forms of childcare since 6 months old which cost equal to a house ( or so it feels) but as they get bigger an you need less childcare or your lucky to have a parent help for free , it will get better.children are still costly in other forms but you can choose what to spend your money on, childcare feels compulsory just to get through.
As I said before just keep going with what you are doing , it will get better

Yes childcare is a shocker, I work pt & we have family help but our bill is still approx £800 a month.

Oh and btw if your career has been sidelined and your lucky enough to be supported by your dh, in my eyes your rich!! It’s all about perspective, I would have loved to stay home a lot more but x2 cheating partners put paid to that across 15 years I have to work in a stressful but good paid job with shifts ! So you are rich atm whether you have lots of money in bank, you had a choice An could take it. No money equals no choices xx

It's simple. I spend less than I earn. Do that for enough years and you end up comfortably-off. Combine that with not wasting money on fads and designer labels and you end up rich.

It annoys me when millennials go on about baby-boomers and how much money we have. We didn't have money when we were your age. You will have money when you get to our age. It's nothing but the passing of time. Time is money; money is time.

Im 27, I'm not rich but comfortable although have a 4 month old so when I go back go work will be spending money on childcare for 36 hours a week but it doesn't seem as expensive as what others on here have to pay (approx 580 a month)
I'm sure there will be lots of other child related costs to come too but I am only planning on the one.
I grew up slightly poor enough for us to eat but sometimes didn't have electric. I went to uni used student loans and got a job to help whilst there. Just worked hard at my job(s) and I'm going back to work full time so my salary won't change . I think some of it is hard work and some of it just luck that I got the jobs/promotion I did. We own an apartment and when I go back to work are going to sell it and buy a house (or that is the plan anyway). I think because I grew up with not a lot I know I can live off a small amount although I could save more than I do.

We were in the right place at the right time. My DH was made redundant and went to work for another company. One of the directors then chose to sell his shares which we purchased. Although we aren't 'rich' we are comfortable or our ages.

It annoys me when millennials go on about baby-boomers and how much money we have. We didn't have money when we were your age. You will have money when you get to our age. It's nothing but the passing of time. Time is money; money is time

@purits in the nicest possible way, fuck off to the far side of fuck with your stereotypical millennial bullshit. You are not correct and make yourself sound awful.

Millennials are aged 22-37 in 2018.

U.K. millennials have lost out on a huge amount of wealth. Second only to Young Greeks in the developed world in terms of impact. They are forecast never to make back this gain.

So FUCK OFF with your lazy moany millennials bull shit.

amp.theguardian.com/money/2018/feb/19/uk-millennials-second-worst-hit-financially-in-developed-world-says-study

I did side eye that comment. A far fewer millennials then previous generations will own their own homes thus meaning they will be worse off when older.

Not rich but probably comfortable. We can afford to buy what we want really month to month and go on nice holidays (although I don't because I don't like flying!)

Definitely having children late after I'd got to where I wanted to be in my career. Meant I could afford to go back part time and was still on the same salary as I was earning before full time.

Saving hard to buy a flat in London and being relatively lucky with price rises over five years which meant we could afford to move our to a bigger house.

Only having one child (but now pregnant with second!)

No inheritances or anything. And we have a big mortgage but it's currently affordable on our salaries. If one of lost our job we could survive for a year or so by then we'd struggle.

I think unless you have an inheritance, win the lottery or bought a house many years ago that's massively increased in value it's actually quite difficult to be rich these days!

Fascinating to read everyone's experiences.

I married at 20 had three children.
Struggled first 10 years of married life.
Then the property boom came in my part of the world.
Husband had his own business (construction) things took off majorly for us.
We bought properties and planned our retirement for mid fifties.
But recession came. Everything went pear shaped. We now have a property that will never reach the price we paid for it. DH lost his business is now a sole trader.
I bitterly regret not educating myself in the 'good' years but I was busy rearing a family and being very, very naive.

We are now mid fifties. Another 10 years to run on our mortgage. Live hand to mouth.

On the plus side what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

My advice would be .......educate yourself and be financially independent.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

Started my own business at 26. Sold it at 32 x

Being born into a reasonably well off family.
DH and I have both had inheritances from gps and lots of monetary gifts from family.
Investing in property at the right time.
Having a similar outlook on prioritising saving, pensions, no debts and paying off the mortgage.
Both being confident that led to doing well at work.
Listening carefully to rich relatives.
It's not rich exactly, more well off.
We've never been frugal - lots of luxury holidays, going out, a bigger house than we need, early retirement plans, nice clothes, cars. I can't see the point otherwise.

What is "rich"?

Interesting question. For me being rich is freedom to do as you please, especially with your time, because all your material needs are covered. Others have mentioned holidays and big houses - but I wouldn't count myself rich if I had an outstanding mortgage.

Worked hard to get very good academic results.
Went into a profession that is well paid and worked hard to do well in it.
Met my DH at work (so he’s in the same profession).

Good luck OP!

Inheritance - both financial and temperamental. Father a farmer, mother a GP, so more familiar with frugal living and work than most women of my class.
Made some money investing in business and property by using the education the financial inheritance paid for.
Married young to a lovely man who is clever and sensible and whose career has progressed.

To answer Echt’s question, not rich at all. Many of you take for granted what has been denied to me in life, which is good health and multiple children.

To the OP in particular: I was on the bones of my arse at 29, having made a terrible over-stretching investment that went tits up in the dotcom crash. Picked myself up and started again. Abandon any sense of pride: prudence, resilience and motivation will take you a long way.

We aren't rich but are comfortable, don't have to worry about money.

We both work full-time, we coordinate out working hours so the dc are only at the childminder's twice a week (I admit that family have supported us by helping with the dc lots of times when we have both had important meetings or whatever - doing lots of childcare favours when we can so other people will have our dc when we are stuck has helped too). I have worked hard at my career and done every bit of extra training I could, and thought carefully about how I acted in order to reach a quite senior level. Dp has run a couple of businesses that didn't work out and has had period of time he was working on his businesses but not earning and is not doing very well with his current business.

If I had my time again I would probably have trained for a better paid profession though.

Also, went I was your age op we had just bought a house and we couldn't afford furniture and barely afford food, we shared a knackered old fiesta, and slept on an air bed, and wore hats and coats in the house because it was so cold. 10 years on life is totally different.