Reporting sexual harassment to primary school

[weeonion18]

I recently reported 2 incidents of sexual harassment against my dd to her primary school. One happened at the end of last term and more recent one happened last week.
My dd hadnt felt able to talk about previous incident at the time - too embarassed but when the same child did it again to her, she told me about it.

She is in p7.

The school were quite blase about it and said it was typical boy behaviour in that class and that the girls were too senstive. I was annoyed at that and insisted that it be recorded as sexuual harassmen not "boyish high jinks" (their words)

I have now found out that another mother reported a similar incident by the same child the week before.

The school have said that they will speak to the boy but really it was my dauhters word against his so nothing they could do. There were witnesses to both of my daughters incidents, as well as witnesses to the other child who reported but the school dont plan on speaking to those cchildren
They suggested that they would get my dd and this boy together to see how they could improve their relationship. I said no to that.

The boy has been moved so he is no longer sitting beside my dd but is now beside a girl who has been crying. Today, she told the teacher in front of the class that she feels too uncomfortable by what he is doing to her. This girl was told that she had to stay there as the teacher was running out of places to put him as the girls were all too thin-skinned.

I am shocked at the teacher / schools response. I have asked for an update as to what the school has done so far / next stages but was told no meetings were available for up to 2 weeks.

That is appalling. I think you need to get hold of the school policy on bullying and complaints procedure and take this as high as necessary.

Get hold of their complaints procedure and take it as far as you can. Not acceptable at all!

Honestly, with a response like that I’d contact social work about the boys and the police about sexual harassment.

I’ve heard too many fucking cases of it being ignored by schools, and it’s not fair on the girls having to live with it.

They are over the age of criminal responsibility, so you could suggest to the school that you will involve the police if your child is sexually assaulted.

Omg phone the head now or go in at the end of the day and tell them this is such serious safeguarding failure that it could be a police matter and you won't phone the police until Monday to give them time to sort it

The Department for Education released a new statutory safeguarding document in May which focused on peer on peer abuse and harassment in schools. It came into force on 3rd September and all schools should be following it. You can find more here www.gov.uk/government/news/strengthened-guidance-for-schools-and-colleges-on-safeguarding

It is a big deal, the school should absolutely be taking this seriously. It is proven that early intervention for boys showing worrying sexual behaviour can prevent it from escalating as he gets older. It is also so important your daughter and the other girls are believed, otherwise what kind of message is that sending them about disclosure if something else does happen.

Please please be that parent and kick up a fuss. The DfE document specifically warns schools against a 'boys will be boys' attitude and reiterates how damaging that is.

What is it he's doing ??

Id go way above school and contact ss / safeguarding if school arent willing to do their job properly.

They are doing an injustice to DD, the girls in your DDs class and the boy but brushing it off as boyish behaviour

They need you get social services involved he could be getting abused. You and the other mother need to speak to the governors.

That’s dreadful. I’d actually keep her off and talk to the L.A, govenors or who ever was next in line to deal with it.

Cans you say what he did? Could it be a police matter?

That's appalling that the teacher won't take it seriously. Kids should feel safe in school.

I would go to the department or the police.

That is disgusting of the school! I'd kick up and yes, over the age of criminal responsibility, report it. Useless school! Great way to introduce females to victim blaming there.

How horrid for your DD and the other girl (and any other girl who may not have spoken out yet). If this happened out of school, you’d go to the police so seeing as the school isn’t providing any support whatsoever, I’d do that.

This is possible the worst and most worrying thread I have read on MN. I would definitely involve the head, and the board of governors if the school has one. Not only about the boys behaviour but about the teachers response to it.
As a parent to boys, I would be horrified if my sons behaviour was making anyone uncomfortable, especially reducing a girl to tears. That it is going unchallenged is reinforcing to the boy and other boys that the behaviour is acceptable, and to the girls that their felling do not matter.
I hope the school sort this out quickly and discipline both the boy and the teacher. Also review their training in sexual assault and bullying.

And write a complaint about that individual teacher who is minimising sexual assault and blaming the girls.

You can self refer in the UK to teams around families/mash teams/local safeguarding boards. early signs of sexualised behaviour should be examined further not given this 'boys will be boys' nonsense.

I would definitely be making a formal complaint to the school, and to the local authorities. I would also consider involving the police. And I would be seriously thinking about keeping her off until you had assurances that it had been adequately dealt with.

Also do you know any of the other parents well enough to discuss (not the boy, but the other girls’ parents) and go in en masse so to speak.

Police, social services, school governors.

This needs to be stopped. You get headteachers like this (I remember my mum telling me she had one utterly dreadful head whose first response to a serious criminal incident was "how do we stop the police being involved?" rather than "how do we support the victim?") and the only thing they understand is police involvement (I'm glad to say the deputy head in my mum's school said very firmly "we can't" and phoned the police himself).

What’s P7, the schools response is terrible! Don’t speak with the parents of the boy, this could be learned behaviour from someone doing the same to him and might cause more issues, I’m surprised the school haven’t flagged this up (!) but your priority quite rightly is your daughter. Speak to your local Police protection unit for advise, tonight.

P7 is primary 7, the last year of primary school in Scotland.

What an appalling situation. The boy is seriously, weirdly predatory for someone of his age and it has to stop, he's hurting too many children already.

All the advice given by posters above is excellent. Please act now, goodness only knows what he will do next if he keeps on getting away with it. He needs help and the girls need protection.

HT
Governors
LEA
Ofsted
MP
Police

It’s the care commission not Ofsted in Scotland.

What is this boy doing? Just trying to understand the reaction from the school because it seems baffling.

What is he actually doing though?