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Reporting sexual harassment to primary school

75 replies

weeonion18 · 25/09/2018 15:52

I recently reported 2 incidents of sexual harassment against my dd to her primary school. One happened at the end of last term and more recent one happened last week.
My dd hadnt felt able to talk about previous incident at the time - too embarassed but when the same child did it again to her, she told me about it.

She is in p7.

The school were quite blase about it and said it was typical boy behaviour in that class and that the girls were too senstive. I was annoyed at that and insisted that it be recorded as sexuual harassmen not "boyish high jinks" (their words)

I have now found out that another mother reported a similar incident by the same child the week before.

The school have said that they will speak to the boy but really it was my dauhters word against his so nothing they could do. There were witnesses to both of my daughters incidents, as well as witnesses to the other child who reported but the school dont plan on speaking to those cchildren
They suggested that they would get my dd and this boy together to see how they could improve their relationship. I said no to that.

The boy has been moved so he is no longer sitting beside my dd but is now beside a girl who has been crying. Today, she told the teacher in front of the class that she feels too uncomfortable by what he is doing to her. This girl was told that she had to stay there as the teacher was running out of places to put him as the girls were all too thin-skinned.

I am shocked at the teacher / schools response. I have asked for an update as to what the school has done so far / next stages but was told no meetings were available for up to 2 weeks.

OP posts:
greencatbluecat · 25/09/2018 18:16

I am a governor of a secondary school and have permanently excluded a pupil for behaviour similar to this but not as bad.

The school should be logging a witness statement from your DD and any other children (or staff) who have been witnesses.

I would suggest emailing the head teacher with a summary of what has happened and asking for a meeting. It is better to write to the HT rather than call because then your email can go into their records. The HT should then meet with the boy and his parents and agree a plan of action.

If that doesn't work, you need to look at the school's complaints procedure which should be published in the web.

RandomMess · 25/09/2018 18:23

It is disgusting that the school is not taking it seriously AngryAngryAngryAngry

Nothisispatrick · 25/09/2018 18:23

This is awful. Absolutley go above the school and get advice from police/social services.

I work in a school and a year 1 child accused some others in the class of sexually inappropriate behaviour and we had the police in and a case open with social services.

I don’t know how it works in Scotland but a good first point of contact in England is MASH (multi agency safeguarding hub) who can direct you to the best source of help.

Russell19 · 25/09/2018 18:25

I'd let ofsted know asap! Serious failure x

Moonflower12 · 25/09/2018 18:28

What you are saying that he is saying to your poor DD is a massive red flag for abuse to him too. School should be dealing with in both directions iyswim.
He sounds as though he access to porn? Or is being asked to perform these acts himself?
In a School where I worked we had a boy who did similar- it escalated and he ended up in a special unit eventually but he had been massively abused- learned behaviour.
I know it's your daughter who is rightly your priority but all the children's sake please escalate this.

QueenofLouisiana · 25/09/2018 18:32

Refer tge school to Keeppng Children Safe in Education 2018, specifically the references to peer on peer abuse. (Photo attached for reference) only hiccup might be if this does not apply in Scotland- I teach in England so am not familiar with The legislation there.

Reporting sexual harassment to primary school
QueenofLouisiana · 25/09/2018 18:33

Sorry- typos!! Was so cross about the disregard for this area of safeguarding duty. Angry

bertielab · 25/09/2018 18:35

I'd report it to the police. I'd also put your complaint and CP issues in writing and send it to HT, Governors and Academy Trust / LA and to be honest my local MP. This is a serious safeguarding issue for everyone. Get other parents to do the same. Write down your daughter's exact words about what he did in "quote" ask for it to be logged as a safeguarding concern and a CP issue. Demand action.

bertielab · 25/09/2018 18:38

2 weeks and no action is too long. I worry that he is a CP issue and he is certainly doing criminal acts and he is a 'peer on peer abuse' category as well as a safeguarding concern. The school should be taking it VERY seriously.

GreenTulips · 25/09/2018 18:39

Similar thing happened with one of mine

Child was reported to social services and school admitted it had happened in schools aswell the party my child attended (nothing happened to my child they were quick to escape and tell me) another friend also ignored her sons pleas to avaoid this child

He was removed from school and received CAMHS services

Report it - do it now - ring Childline for advice if you can't face reporting it directly to the authorities

mombie · 25/09/2018 18:41

This is one of the most shocking things that I have read. Please email the head and continue to escalate for everyone's sake. if my daughter was sat next to this boy who was directing abuse at her, I would want to know how the school were keeping her and the other girl's safe. The schools attitude towards the girls is disgusting. How dare they treat those poor girls with such disregard. This makes me so angry, please continue to push this issue.

missyB1 · 25/09/2018 18:55

Not only do the school have a duty to protect the girls from this harassment, but they also need to ensure that a referral is done to social services for the boy. There is a chance he is being sexually abused.

explodingkitten · 25/09/2018 19:02

If an adult is secually harrassed you go to the police. I don't understand why in the case of a child it is different and the school gets to decide.

Besides, I firmly believe that young boys who do this either need mental help or are being abused themselves.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 25/09/2018 19:11

I am shocked! Twenty years ago a similar thing happened to one of my children. I phoned the school and told them what had been said and they immediately took it very seriously. The parents were involved and my daughter was well looked after.

I can't believe that twenty years on things have gone so far backwards that a boy can say things of a sexual nature and the girls are told to let it go!

weeonion18 · 25/09/2018 20:11

I spoke first with class teacher but wasnt satisfied with their response / suggested strategies so asked for head teacher to join us. They are the nominated child protection lead.
It was the Head who said they wouldnt be following up with witnesses, it was my daughters word against his etc.
I emailed school after that 1st meeting to make sure everything had a paper trail.
They already knew of other incidents before i met with them so i am even angrier at their dismissal.

I have emailed school and also left answering machine telling them i will be at school first thing.
If i dont get sstisfactory response i will be contacting local family and children social work team.

OP posts:
weeonion18 · 25/09/2018 20:14

I agree that there are potentially major safeguarding issues for this boy as well as those girls.

I have been reassuring my dd that she did the right thing in telling me, that i have her safety first and foremost in my mind but feel the school has completely undermined that.

OP posts:
weeonion18 · 25/09/2018 20:17

The Head teacher did say that if anything happened in relation to them talking this over with the boy, they would not tell me due to confidentiality.

I think i should at least know what (if anything) has happened?

OP posts:
sakura06 · 25/09/2018 20:18

You need to blow the whistle on this. The Head is failing in their duty as safeguarding lead. Please contact the police and social services.

RandomMess · 25/09/2018 20:22

I would go straight to police and social services because of the Heads response - they completely failed with their safeguarding!

Jellycatspyjamas · 25/09/2018 20:55

I think i should at least know what (if anything) has happened?

You should know the steps they are taking to protect your daughter but not what happened with the boy concerned because he is entitled to confidentiality so unless there was going to be a criminal investigation that needed your daughter to give evidence, I’d expect you to get very limited information about what they do with him.

ScrambledSmegs · 25/09/2018 22:32

I'm sorry if you've already covered this, but you might want to point out to them that what the teacher is doing is victim blaming and making all the girls in the class potentially believe that they have no right to object to and be protected from agressive sexual behaviour. And most horrendously, given him tacit permission to carry on, and the idea that it is somehow the fault of the girls he is harassing.

He sounds like a very troubled boy but there is no excuse for the school not dealing with this robustly.

Aimarge · 26/09/2018 12:37

How did the meeting go this morning?

mums4life · 01/02/2019 11:18

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DandilionBreak · 01/02/2019 11:40

I'd be phoning the police, immediately.

If they're P7 then he's 11 or 12 - that's above the age of criminal responsibility, isn't it?

Bombardier25966 · 01/02/2019 11:43

This thread is from September.

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